Tuesday, December 21, 2004

You're gonna have to pry it from my cold dead hand!

At the Spatula House there is only one rule. No Diet Pepsi. We are SLAVES to the Diet Coke around here. Not only do we snatch up Diet Coke merchandise like total freaks, but we start out every day with gigantic cups of Diet Coke before most people are even out of bed. And seriously, do not try to bring Diet Pepsi into this house because my parents are shooters...they have guns and they shoot traitors on sight. So, the upshot of all this addiction in one house is that I not only get all of my Diet Coke needs met on a daily basis, but they are routinely *exceeded*. Every day, every single damn day, my dad and I go to the one 7-11 in town and we buy Diet Cokes (Super Big Gulp for me, regular Big Gulp for him). Every day. The old guy that works there is named Woody. He's surly. The manager is Ellen. She's nice (and has a bit of a crush on my dad I think).

So, today, we went for our family walk (every morning at 9:30 rain or shine), and then my dad and I headed up to 7-11. And the first thing that happened was that they were out of his brand of hot peanuts. My dad has to have hot peanuts with his Diet Coke. HAS TO HAVE THEM. He'll settle for Planters, but he likes some other brand (the name of which escapes me right now). His brand comes 2 little sleeve packs for $1, and he splits them with Molly the Satanic Dog. She loves hot peanuts. So, they were out of his brand, which made him cranky. But, we got up to the counter and the girl was new...she didn't know us *horrors*.

However, despite her newness, she caught on quick (probably because when we walked in everyone in the store went "NORM!"...just kidding), and offered us EACH a certificate for a free Big Gulp between now and New Years. YAY! And then...the following exchange.

Girl: "So, you guys come here every day?"
Me and Dad: "Yup, every day...we love the Diet Coke...gotta have the Diet Coke."
Girl: "Well, in addition to the free Big Gulp coupons I have these ones for a free burrito or hot dog."
Dad: *politely* "Oh no thank you, we usually just get our Cokes and some peanuts."
Me: "OH MY GOD, my Mom would KILL US if we ate food from 7-11."
Dad: *totally embarrassed by my outburst*
Girl: "Well....."
Me to Dad: "Well, Molly might like to have a hot dog!"
Girl: *perks up* "Oh well, would you like a certificate then for Molly?"
Me: *scornfully* "Molly is our dog."
Dad: "Thank you so much, that's very kind but no thank you...we HAVE TO GO NOW."

My poor dad, he was so embarrassed, and none of what I said was meant to be mean at all, I started out just trying to fill in conversational space and somehow became a bad guy. Oops.

Anyway, last night we went and looked at Christmas lights...my dad left the windows down so Molly could see the lights, despite the fact that it was about 20 degrees outside...he goes "Well, I guess you should have worn your coat." Uh huh...yeah, I always wear my coat when I'm going to be nowhere but in the car...the car that has a heater. Today I am hoping to get the rest of my Christmas shopping done since I have to drop my mom off at an appointment later and then I have the car for an hour and a half.

I can't believe Christmas is on Saturday...it is NOT beginning to feel a lot like Christmas. I still can't believe we're past Halloween!!!
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