Monday, December 06, 2004

I can't handle the truth.

So, I like to eat candy. This comes as no surprise to anyone that knows me, and probably isn't too much of a shocker for anyone that reads this blog. I love sugar. I am a person powered entirely by sugar, caffeine, booze, and regret (just kidding about the regret, it's actually more like guilt). Anyway, a candy that I often crave, and that everyone else seems to hate, is Spice Drops. And what's funny is that they ALWAYS give me a stomachache, but I still eat them. All my friends think they are so disgusting. But what I've been wondering is, what flavors are Spice Drops? So I decided to try to find out...and here's the thing...Brach's is full of total shit because the flavors they purport their Spice Drops to be are not the flavors of the tummyache inducing little bastards I have sitting right in front of me that I've been shoving down my gullet all day.

Brach's (the actual brand of Spice Drops I have in front of me) claims that their Spice Drops come in the following flavors: Orange, lemon, cherry, mint, grape and licorice.

While I would agree that the colors of the Spice Drops would INDICATE those flavors, aside from Orange and Mint, none of those flavors appear to be represented in the candy that I am eating. The yellow ones are so awful I can't even force myself to chew them (except in extreme sugar emergencies)...and they bear no resemblance to Lemon at all.

Hickory Farms claims that Spice Drops come in the following flavors: Peppermint, Clove, Anise, Cinnamon, Wintergreen and Allspice.

These flavors seem more indicative of what I actually have here, product-wise. However, seeing as how I don't know which flavors are represented by which colors, I feel a little bit lost. I am pretty sure Cinnamon is red, Wintergreen is green and I think Peppermint MIGHT be white. The other three are a mystery...the yellow ones are FOUL though...and, disappointingly, purple isn't far behind. Purple is clearly not grape. Clearly.

Why would Brach's lie to me about something as important as this? I feel utterly betrayed. I mean, you wouldn't give somebody Caramel Hershey's Kisses and then tell them they were Dark Chocolate with Almond Kisses, right? That would be crazy!

I think we should all boycott Brach's Spice Drops until they drop their practice of deceptive labeling. I demand the TRUTH!
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