Will Work for Favorable Dicta

Life and times of a former military officer who went to law school, decided not to practice, and instead is doing something I actually like. Go me!

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Tuesday, June 23, 2009

Weird

I am on modified bed rest, so basically two or three days a week, I'm home from work. Sometimes I actually rest, but normally I end up doing all kinds of stuff (chores, baby preparation stuff, doctors appointments, etc). Today I was pre-ordering birth announcement envelopes (my, what a gripping life I do lead!), and watching some old documentary on women over 40 who give birth (probably about 10 years old). And, what to my wondering eye does appear??? My very own obstetrician!!! Very, very, very weird.

Anyway, does being on a documentary on TLC mean she's famous??? My baby will be delivered by someone who's famous!

For those of you keeping score, 2.5 weeks and counting. YIKES!

And, for everyone, thanks for the kind thoughts and prayers for my mom. She continues to recover in inpatient rehab and is doing very well considering the severity of her initial brain injury. We love her and she is doing great!

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Tuesday, June 16, 2009

It's been...well...

Hi - to whoever (whomever?) is still following me here. I am now nearly 34 weeks pregnant. I was initially put on modified bed rest due to my blood pressure slowly creeping up and the risk of impending pre-eclampsia. That pretty much sucked. But, then, one month ago, the unthinkable happened...

My mom had a massive aneurysm. She was airlifted to a major research university, spent 15 days in neurological intensive care, had 3 brain surgeries, spent another 9 days on the neuro inpatient floor, and has recently returned to a city near her home to an inpatient rehabilitation facility. It has been devastating, obviously, for me and my father and our whole family. Although she is doing great (comparitively speaking), and is slowly regaining some function and independence, we have no idea where we will be in a year - but the doctors seem positive so we are trying to stay positive as well.

My mom is one of the most wonderful people to ever walk this planet. She's gentle, funny, fierce, athletic, intelligent, a great cook, a selflessly dedicated wife and mother. We want her back - all of her - and I hope that's what's going to happen. She won't be here for the baby being born or to help me out with navigating my first steps of motherhood, but I know she's here in spirit and we will be taking the baby down to meet her just as soon as we can. Hopefully she'll be living at home by then and will be able to enjoy her new granddaughter!

So, that's where I've been.

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Saturday, May 09, 2009

I'm alive...barely

On modified bedrest with full bedrest coming soon. I'm just trying to keep this bun in the oven as long as possible...I feel like a veal.

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Saturday, April 04, 2009

Oh Murray...my sciatica!

My back hurts. Well, not my back so much as my butt/hip/leg. It's awesome. Being pregnant is truly a beautiful and transformative experience. On Monday I'll be 6 months. You know what that means? There are still 4 long months left. Simultaneously too short and too long.

The Boy and I went to Babies R Us today to register. God help me. I literally almost passed out like four times. How can one tiny baby need so much crap??? Also, they give you a list of "must haves" that you should register for. How can it be a "must have" if I don't even know what it does?

Registering for baby stuff is a lot like registering for wedding stuff. I felt guilty registering for anything over $10.00, and manipulated by the store into registering for crap that I really don't need (or that people shouldn't have to buy for me). By the end, succumbing to low blood sugar and exhaustion, I just pointed the barcode gun at anything that didn't move and scanned it. I have no idea what we may get. The Boy spent most of his time wandering away and playing with the toys. Then I would force him back to my side, where he would faithfully stay for approximately 1.3 milliseconds until something else bright and shiny grabbed his attention.

In non-baby news, it's finally sunny here. We are going home to Mama and Daddy Spatula's for Easter next weekend, so I'm pretty much looking forward to that. I really miss them, especially my mom. I guess that is pregnancy related. Just goes to show you that I really CAN'T talk about anything else.

The Boy bought me this book - signed by the author - something I have been looking forward to for months. I'm going to read it next weekend. This weekend I'm cleaning out closets...because I'm exciting like that.

It Sucked and then I Cried...by Heather B. Armstrong


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Friday, March 20, 2009

Like a pig in slop

The Boy is out of town for a few days and I have, unfortunately, reverted back to my original, true self - a total slob. There are dirty dishes in the sink, laundry on the floor, dust bunnies taking over the bedroom, and that is just scraping the surface of how truly disgusting my living conditions have become. I almost hate to admit he's the more domestic of the two of us - but I will say he's never left a frying pan with the remnants of a fried egg soaking in the sink for five entire days. His head would probably explode if he walked into the house right now.

Needless to say...the first day of Spring brings me a much-needed incentive to get some cleaning done this weekend before he comes home. I'm still trying to convince him I'm awesome - and it takes A LOT of work (ie: trickery) to get the desired effect.

In other news...ummm...there is no other news. My life is fairly boring. Without the boozing I just don't think I'm half the blogger I used to be. Two of my favorite writing inspirations, being drunk and being hungover, are totally off the table. Bah.

Here are the highlights of my life: my crocuses are blooming, I figured out how to work the thermostat, I ate Indian food for dinner and am hoping I don't die of food poisoning because it looked a little sketchy, and I might buy a new shower curtain tomorrow. If I don't die from the Indian food. WOO HOO!

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Sunday, March 08, 2009

A question for all you great legal minds...

Here's a law school hypothetical for all you lawyer types that are still reading this.

A woman, let's call her ES, rents a car at a car rental place (let's just say she's on a BUDGET...hint hint) in a remote city in Alaska. She arrives at 11pm. The keys are handed over, but there is no opportunity to check the car for damage as it is pitch black and raining and late. ES drives the car to the hotel, to her work meeting the following day, and back to the airport at 6am on the second day. There is no attendant at the rental car counter, and no one to check the car in. ES leaves the receipt for the gas, the contract, and the keys on the counter.

ES DID purchase the rental damage waiver offered by the company. ES did drive less than 25 miles. ES did not violate any of the terms of the rental contract, such as driving while intoxicated or on non-paved roads.

Approximately 2-3 weeks after her return to her home, ES receives a bill from the car rental company for $500.00 for a scratch allegedly done to the car while she drove it. She disputes the bill, and points out that she bought the insurance offered by the company. She is told that the insurance does not cover "ONE CAR COLLISIONS" and since she doesn't know what happened to the car, it is automatically a one car collision.

ES attempts to submit the bill to the Mastercard that she rented the car with, but is turned down due to the fact that she bought the supplemental insurance.

The national office of the rental car company will not help/get involved due to the fact that this is an independently owned franchise.

The $500.00 bill, which is in dispute, is turned over to collections.

ES obtains the cell phone number of the owner of the rental company franchise and explains the situation. He points out there is no way to know what happened, maybe another car hit her car in a parking lot. ES points out that a situation such as that would be a TWO CAR COLLISION, and thus covered by the insurance. The owner laughs at ES, says he doesn't care is she files a complaint with the BBB, but eventually agrees to look into it...albeit half-heartedly.

The "one car collision" loophole is listed in fine-print on the front of the contract, but is not listed on the back of the contract under the list of conditions that nullify the damage waiver.

ES believes the rental car company is using the "ONE CAR COLLISION" loophole to siphon off every instance of damage onto the consumer versus having to cover it with their own insurance, which would raise premiums and costs, etc. There is no way for the consumer to prove a one car collision didn't happen, nor is there any way for the consumer to investigate the damage as it is only pointed out long after they are gone from Small Town, Alaska.

Discuss.

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Sunday, March 01, 2009

I think we're alone now.

I've been trying to think about what to write...not coming up with much. I feel a little...blah.

I always dreamed that I would get pregnant and suddenly feel all glowy and wonderful, eating ice cream and caressing my beautiful belly as my adoring husband gazed at me...adoringly. Instead, I am barely showing (at nearly 5 months), ice cream makes my stomach hurt, and although my husband is adoring, he has his own life to live so the gazing time is somewhat limited.

I'm an only child, so I don't have an older (or younger) sister to compare myself to, and most of my friends don't have children yet. I don't know if what I'm feeling is normal or not. I'm lonely. I feel isolated in my pregnancy. My husband is great, but he doesn't understand how bad my hips hurt, and how I want to cry all the time, and how I just want to be able to feel the baby move so I can have some companionship in this whole journey. And my hips really, really hurt.

Now that I'm pregnant, I'm realizing how much of my life was built on social drinking. Having a glass of wine with my husband, meeting my friends for drinks after work or to dish about whatever. Obviously I can still do all those things...but without the booze. I feel left out - like I haven't even had the baby yet and I'm already expected to just sit at home while everything I used to do goes on without me. My husband says "Wow, think about how much our lives will change after this baby comes". I'm like "Hey...guess what, my life IS changed. Right now!" Let's not even go into falling asleep at 9:30 only to wake up 4 times to pee!

I know I sound like a hormonal, resentful, shrew. I promise I'm not. I just wish I had more people to talk to, more stuff to do that isn't at a bar where I sit and watch everyone else drink, more of my pre-pregnancy dream of what this would all be like. I wish my mom lived here. I want my mommy! WAH!

Anyway, enough angst. I'm excited that we're going to find out the gender this week - provided the baby is cooperating. I'm a little worried that they could find something wrong, but a LOT excited about seeing the baby and knowing whether it's a boy or a girl I'm talking to all the time.

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Monday, February 09, 2009

There's a tear in my beer...

Well, not in my beer...because, sadly...no beer. But, I can report that everything you've heard about pregnant women is true. I cry every day, whether there's a reason or not. Sometimes it's because of an actual reason (i.e. story on the Today Show about man who dies and is then brought back to life). Other times, it's because of something...well...less than an actual reason. No orange juice in the fridge? Cry. Out of eggrolls at my fave fast food Chinese place? Cry. The Boy makes dinner? Cry. The Boy doesn't make dinner? Cry. Yeah, it's pretty impressive.

Here's an interesting thing about being knocked up...a group of people I lovingly call The Pregnancy Police (TPP). TPP will let you know, without hesitation, anytime you are doing something "wrong" in your pregnancy. For me, this includes such Sins as:

1. Drinking Diet Coke
2. Using Biore face scrub
3. Taking Sudafed
4. Eating a piece of brie

There's a lot of "Well, I guess it's your decision...buuuuuuuuuut......"

I've never had so many people concerned for my well being. Where was everyone when I was binge drinking and dating a guy who, on his very best day, looked like he crawled out of a dumpster full of patchouli oil and questionable morals??

Oh well. I know people mean well, but...in the words of Tim Gunn...I'm dubious.

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Saturday, January 31, 2009

The weather is here, I wish you were beautiful.

I really, really, really miss drinking. Really alot. Things have been stressful of late at work, and with a bathroom renovation happening at home, and a bunch of stuff, and I would kill for a bottle glass of wine (geez, I'm not a total alkie).

We had an appointment last week and the doctor couldn't find the baby's heartbeat. It sucked for about five minutes, but they did an ultrasound and we got to see our little peanut in there, heart beating away. I guess he or she is just stubborn. Like Daddy. Because God knows I'm totally reasonable at all times.

Let's see...not much else is new. We are tiling our tub surround and our bathroom floor this weekend. In our only bathroom. Which is, by the way, the most important room in the house to a pregnant lady. So....yeah.

The Boy and his brother are doing the actual work. I'm eating a lot of cookies and watching the True Life marathon on MTV. I've watched people addicted to Adderall, people with insomnia, and people who are geniuses. I need to get a life.

Anyway, I just thought I should post something for the three of four readers who have come back recently. I'll try to pay attention this week and find something good to write about, I promise. I just know nobody wants to hear about my indigestion, swollen ankles, and inability to remember ANYTHING. It's like the baby actually ate my brain.

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Sunday, January 18, 2009

ABC Sucks!

As if it wasn't bad enough to cancel Pushing Daisies, now they are waffling/refuse to air the last three episodes. I am so disturbed by the fact that they are willing to keep Grey's Anatomy, which jumped the shark like two years ago when Meredith went into the water during the ferry accident (and PUH-LEEZE don't get me started on Private Practice), but will cancel pretty much the most original show on television right now. They really needed that space to air Homeland Security USA and True Beauty apparently. What the world needs now is more vapid reality television produced by Ashton freakin' Kutcher. And, seriously...According to Jim is STILL on the air. REALLY?

Does anyone remember when television shows were actually shows? Like, with a cast and a plot and scripts and stuff? Well, I guess most of the "reality" shows have scripts, to be fair. I am so sick of bachelors, bachelorettes, survivors, idols and all things Howie Mandel.

Anyway, guess I'm just extra whiny today, but ever since Buffy the Vampire Slayer went off the air I've been waiting for another show to come along that would be interesting and unique and sort of whimsical, and I think Pushing Daisies was all of those things and more. Damnit.

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