Friday, June 30, 2006

A meme for me.

I got hit with this meme the other day from LQ, and I took a study break today to compile it - thinking it would keep you guys busy for at least a couple of days, which I will spend slaving away in the library even though it's gorgeous outside. The 25 songs I used are just the first 25 on my "studying" playlist - which is what I listen to all the time and has like 100 songs on it - and it's probably the only thing that keeps the entire list from being Jimmy Buffett. And I will say that there are a couple of songs that are the same group, and they are covers of other songs...but, either way, I guess if you get the title I'm not supposed to worry about the artist per LQ's instructions - there are just a couple of songs on here that are somewhat marginally cooler when sung by cover bands. :) Enjoy! Also, I'm not going to tag anyone with this - take it if you want it, or don't...whatever!

A. If you’ve got an iPod or similar technology, copy your Top 25 Most Played.
B. Then pick a lyric from each.
C. Post the lyrics on your blog.
D. Have commenters guess what the song is.
E. Either strike out the lyric once it has been correctly identified or place the guesser’s user name directly after the lyric.
F. Extra points for knowing the artist. Let’s not go overboard and try to figure out albums. I’m not even sure I could figure some of them out. Heck, some of the lyrics would stump me and I'm the one posting them.


1) I look back on Venus, I look back on Mars, I’m filled with the fire of 10 million stars

Froggie got the song right, but (again) it's the Me First and the Gimme Gimme's version - I LOVE their covers of everything, but right now I'm listening to their album "It's a Drag" a LOT.

2) In the desert you can remember your name, because there ain’t no one for to give you no pain

Lawmommy got it...Horse With No Name, America

3) Every day I love her just a little bit more, and she loves me the same

4) My heart knows me better than I know myself, so I’m gonna let it do all the talking

Kristan was even inspired to comment, and got FOUR! This is Big Black Horse & A Cherry Tree, KT Tunstall

5) Dr. X will build a creature. See androids fighting Brad and Janet. Anne Francis stars in Forbidden Planet

This is, indeed, Science Fiction Double Feature...but it's the Me First and the Gimme Gimmes version. Little Tort got this one.

6) Won’t you help to sing these songs of freedom

My real-life friend Jim got this one...Redemption Song, Bob Marley

7) Cause in my head, there’s a Greyhound Station

Kristan - Soul Meets Body, Death Cab for Cutie

8) By the way my name’s Marcus, but if you like you can call me Sensei

Beanie is my new hero and go this one, and #15, probably two of the hardest in terms of non-mainstream-ness! This is A Shogun Named Marcus, by Clutch.

9) Heaven help me when I say, I think I’m giving in

10) You might be the type if I play my cards right

Kristan (again! :) ) - Promiscuous, Nelly Furtado

11) And as my mind begins to spread its wings, there’s no stopping curiosity

Kristan (she must have good taste in music - like me!)...Upside Down, Jack Johnson

12) If I were Roy Rogers, I’d sure enough be single

Alex got this one, and recommended a cover. This is the Lyle Lovett version of If I Had a Boat

13) Rock to the rhythm of the funky rhyme, so I can get this in just one more time

F&D got this's Let Me Clear My Throat, DJ Kool

14) Lying in my plastic bed, thinking how things weren’t so cool to me

15) Line after line, round after round, empty shells fall to the ground

Beanie got this one too - A Drug Against War, KMFDM

16) Rudy tells the waitress that his chicken died in vain

17) I’m down on my knees, I’m begging you please, to come home

Yup, it's Little Tort again. This is Cecelia, by Simon & Garfunkle.

18) You know she’s waiting, just anticipating

Lawmommy got this one too. Try a Little Tenderness, Otis Redding.

19) What a beautiful wedding, said the bridesmaid to a waiter

Little Tort got this one too - I Write Sings Not Tragedies, by Panic! At The Disco

20) I’m a tidal pool explorer, from the days of my misspent youth

21) Ticking clock, everyone stop. Everyone’s saying different things to me

Mackenzie got this - Waiting Line, by Zero 7

22) She give me one smile, two smile, three smile – she’s got me going wild

23) You giggle every time that I say “Yes Ma’am”, and I get this feeling that if I held you tight, you’d be seeing his and hers, buckles, boots and spurs

24) I got my Ph.D in heartaches and misery, and a B.S. in barstool philosophy

25) Get up in the morning, slaving for bread, sir, so that every mouth can be fed.

Skelly figured this one out, it's The Israelites, by Desmond Dekker

I'll come back and start crossing out as soon as there are some comments with answers.

*Stands up...brushes self off* I'M FINE!

Special thanks to my friend A, who, after I cried on the phone with ex-Roomie for a half hour, offered to go for a walk with me. We walked down to the water, sat on a picnic bench, talked about life, nearly got killed by a pterodactyl, pondered the meaning of life, told funny stories...etc.

Killed by a pterodactyl? Yes. A huge creature from the deep came out of the bushes by the water, screaming and screeching, and flew right at us before veering off at the last minute and going back into the bushes - presumably to eat its young and bring forth the Dark Prince.

I heart depression.

I have been sitting in my apartment crying my eyes out for the last 40 minutes or so. I went out to a wine bar with a couple of friends tonight and had a pretty good time, but it's hard. I feel like I sometimes have a hard time here because I'm so different from everyone else and sometimes I feel like I can't connect with anyone. My life experience is so different, and I wonder who I can talk to that will understand where I'm coming from. My friends here are so awesome, so this isn't to say that they aren't fantastic, because they are - but I am just feeling sort of misunderstood tonight (I mean, who's going to understand me whining about being twice divorced and how it makes me a dating pariah?). And, I really want to call M and can't because she's out of town for awhile, and it sucks. The one person in my life who always loves me no matter how crazy I am is unavailable and it just totally blows. And I keep thinking I'm going to end up with 1,000 cats, and I probably won't have anything to do but make them all little cat sweaters, and I only know how to crochet so they won't even be good sweaters - they'll be bulky. And I'm allergic so I'll have to have those horrible hairless cats...they always look like they were brought to earth to steal your soul. I am so, so, so, so sad tonight, and I'm not sure why. It's honestly not really anything to do with bar review (in the sense of worrying about passing the bar), I just got my feelings hurt a few times in the last few days (OK, maybe I'm more vulnerable to that because of my exhaustion), and I'm feeling extra-special sensitive and moody and crazy. Last time I cried like this it was 1L and I told everyone that I was quitting law school, only to be talked back into it by M. Tomorrow I'll be fine, I need to get some sleep and quit being a freak - but my brain won't stop. There are just a few things that are important to me in my life, and when it seems like they aren't working out, all at once, it makes me unhappy. And then I cry.

Thursday, June 29, 2006

Overheard in bar review. Part Deux.

RE: Strict liability for wild animals:

Prof. Torts: "So, if some doofus sticks his hand in the tiger cage, and it gets just RIPPED RIGHT OFF, and he's brushing his teeth with his elbows for the rest of his life...."

RE: Risk of Loss:

Prof. Sales, in an example where a truck carrying cases of wine overturns and the Seller tries to replace the wine ordered with another type of wine: "So, imagine that Seller sends Buyer 100 cases of Port!"

Class: Collective gasp. OH THE HUMANITY! Swear to God, in Texas, nearly everyone in a room full of mostly 20-somethings would have looked at each other and shrugged, but here in the TVPNM, literally EVERYONE (except me...clueless as always) literally fell out of their chairs. People were exclaiming "Oh my GOD! Can you IMAGINE? Oh my GOD!" It was like he'd suggested they were going to replace the wine with bottles of pig blood. I totally understand the reason behind the gasping (in an intellectual sense), but it was just a moment that smacked of what I hated about law school - everyone read the "I Heart Wine" booklet, and because it told them to be horrified, they were. I'm not saying it's unlikely that EVERYONE in my lecture (roughly 200+ people) is enough of a wine affionado to get the joke/inference, but...well...I guess I find it difficult to believe that all these people were personally affronted enough to gasp in unison about his, but not about the example in Torts where the baby drowns in the inflatable pool and the innocent bystander stands and watches it because he has no duty to rescue.

I've got nothing else. Went to lunch with friends today and it was AWESOME. Our lecture ran overtime (5 hours, with only 3 FIVE MINUTE breaks), so we figured we deserved it. I am currently making SHITLOADS of CivPro flashcards, so basically I'm pretty much ready to shoot myself.

My neighbor had a long conversation with someone last night at 3am. It kind of sounded like one of those deals where someone is overseas and you talk to them over the internet, because he was kind of yelling - but seriously. This is the PacNW, we don't have A/C here so most everyone sleeps with windows open, and it's an apartment building so everyone is basically on everyone else's doorstep. He's gonna seriously regret it if he tries this shit again. I am in NO MOOD.

Wednesday, June 28, 2006

Tidbits of wisdom. From me. Quit laughing.

Friend: "God. I think I'm hitting the wall. This sucks."

Me: "I can't hit the wall because I'm not moving. If I ever do hit it, I'll be walking so I probably won't get hurt."


Me: Giant sigh.

Friend: "What?"

Me: "I have 9000 more flashcards to make. If I die I want you to make sure I'm buried with these flashcards...they are my most significant accomplishment to date."

Overheard in bar review.

I'm too lazy to check my notes (because I wrote this down since it was so funny), but the gist is as such:

Our VERY eccentric Torts professor from 1L lecturing us on intentional torts:

"In order for there to be assault there has to be APPREHENSION on the part of the person you are assaulting, they have KNOW it's coming. So, for instance, if you wanted to kiss Sleeping Beauty, and she was asleep, and didn't know you were looming above her about to kiss her, that's not assault, she isn't fearful of your impending kiss. And, staying on the Sleeping Beauty example, if you want to, say, practice your swordplay right over her face all night long and she never wakes up and then in the morning you just walk out with her never even realizing your were there, and you never touched her, that's not assault either."

Tuesday, June 27, 2006

An incomplete list of things I hate today.

1. many goshdarned essays!!!!

2. Civil Procedure

3. Carpal Tunnel Syndrome

4. Not being able to have another beer because I have work to do

5. Men who make me feel ugly

6. Not having control over my schedule

7. Not having time to cook dinner and eat something healthy more often

8. Filling up my tank to the tune of $53

9. Contracts

10. Being lonely

11. Not having A/C when it's 93 degrees

12. Wanting things I can't have

13. Pangs of regret that are unnecessary but get worse when I'm tired

14. Roots (or, as my hairdresser friend says, "regrowth"...trees have roots)

15. Radio stations that change format without warning

16. Skinny undergrad bimbos at Starbucks that make me feel old, fat, pale, and tired

Just so you understand I can see the silver-lining, I will say that I got tons of stuff on sale at The Gap today...lots of shirts, a pair of jeans, and two zip-up sweatshirts since our Bar/Bri room is FREEZING.

Also, I am having a girls-only mani/pedi movie-night here on Monday night since we don't have bar review on Tuesday morning because of the holiday. Thankfully I'm a hoarder of all beauty products, so I have a million colors of nail polish. We're going to drink tons of wine, watch a funny movie, and do our nails. Finally, something to look forward to.

Laughing at people's fear is mean.

But that doesn't mean I won't do it. Especially when it's this freaking hilarious.

Monday, June 26, 2006

Digestion is for chumps.

I accidentally ate a piece of styrofoam tonight. Don't ask. Let's hope it's brain food.

This is E. Spat. E. Spat proscrastinates and is likely to fail the bar.

I was supposed to turn in three essays to be graded by tomorrow, so I thought I'd be all productive and get them done this afternoon. Did two of them, and then....and then came contracts. Man, I freaking hate contracts. I don't remember hating it during law school, but I sure hate it right now. I can't even start because the questions are so nebulous and sort of wishy-washy that I can't get a toehold. I thought ConLaw was going to be my nemesis, but I think it's going to be Contracts nose-and-nose with Property. Joy!

At any rate, as usual, I feel wholly unproductive...probably because I'm BEING wholly unproductive. A couple of people have wondered about why we are turning in so many essays for Bar/Bri when they aren't turning in any, and the answer is that our bar is totally an essay test - 24(?) essays over three days - 18 substantive (or, as they say in Bar/Bri, subSTANTive) essays, and 6 professional responsibility (which is apparently not subSTANTive...go figure). So, that's why all the essays - no multiple choice here!

Let's see...what else is going on? Guacamole Kid is out on his boat studying and learned that he needs to submit this questionnaire/essay thing to graduate, but he's...well, out on his boat. So, he is going to call me tonight and dictate to me over his satellite phone and I'm going to type it up and turn it in for him. Sadly, I am excited just to have a legitimate break from bar review - one that I can't feel guilty about. Helping a friend is ALWAYS a good excuse! :)

Ummm...oh yeah. It's in the mid-90's here today, which is about...oh...20 degrees higher than normal, and no one here as A/C. So, that should be fun. Can't wait to go home tonight and swelter in my crackerbox of an apartment. Might have to hit the sbux for some study time and soak up their air.

Sunday, June 25, 2006

Pool shark

I wasn't just unproductive today, I was *aggressively* unproductive.

What can I say? I'm a perfectionist.

It's a beautiful day.

It was so beautiful here today - truly breathtaking.

I spent it in the library.

I'm going to go sit outside for awhile and pretend to work, then I'm going to have a glass of wine and go to bed early.

I hate the bar exam.

Welcome to America!

Tonight, for the first time ever, I got hit on by an Albanian. I've been hit on by Irish guys, Scottish guys, Norwegian (sp?) guys, German guys, Puerto Rican guys, Spanish guys...even French guys, but never an Albanian before. I swear to God, I think he said his name was "Kasko" (Costco?), and that we should "go somewhere" and "have a good time" and he'd "treat me really good." Um...yeah. I explained to the delightful Kasko that, while the offer was enticing, I wasn't going anywhere with a guy who (literally) just got off the (commercial fishing) boat, and who couldn't look me in the eye when I asked point blank if he was married. To his credit, he certainly made a good effort, and that was flattering given my current situation of being a sort of desperate bar studier - it's a terrible life right now, and I'm glad someone, even a drunk guy who probably hasn't seen a woman since Dutch Harbor, thinks I'm attractive enough to proposition, but still...I just don't think so.

So, off I go to bed. Alone, buzzed, and looking forward (or not) to another fine day of studying tomorrow.

Also, I had a cup of coffee today, which I never do because it makes me crazy, and I ran a red light and then walked out in front of a bus and almost got killed. I swear, coffee makes me feel simultaneously like I'm crawling out of my skin AND like a total space cadet. It's awful. Thank God for beer, which is the depressant antidote to skin-crawliness.

Saturday, June 24, 2006

When I dress up as a frigid bitch, I try not to look so constipated.

I have no words.

If I did have words they would be: child support, maintenance, best interests of the child, modification, separate property, community property, dissolution, no-fault, and establishment of paternity.

Sadly, the people in my Family Law essays are getting a lot more action than I am (or have in the past three years...damnit). They're a frisky bunch...and fertile too!

Friday, June 23, 2006

Very tired, but with very shiny lips.

No time to write until probably tomorrow afternoon or Sunday. Due to the compressed schedule I have tons of shit to do that isn't done, plus, fantastically, class tomorrow morning for four hours -- YAY! That will take a nice chunk out of my day. How wonderful!

I did 5 essays today though so I am rewarding myself with happy hour and then early to bed. Thank goodness there's a late happy hour at a local seafood place that's pretty good and makes me happy. $3 fish and chips - hooray!

In other news, I am blogging from Starbucks courtesy of Ex-Roomie who donated her T-Mobile HotSpot card she got free (somewhere) to me. She's so nice!

Let's see....ummmmmm...not much going on worth talking about. Got up W/Th/F at 5:30 and went to the gym - go me! Bought a new lipgloss that I am LOVING. It smells good and makes your lips all tingly - Ex-Roomie has been calling me "Hot Lips" all day...and it's true! It's Neutrogena MoistureShine Lip Soother in "Glaze". It's awesome - super shiny (but not glittery), stays on, smells really good, and gives me the coveted Hot Lips. HELL YEAH! Also, my hair looks good today. Maybe stress is good for my hair?

Alright, gotta go score some beers.

Wednesday, June 21, 2006

Suck it Trebek!

I TOTALLY got my punk ass out of bed at 5:30am this morning and went to the gym.

It gave me flashbacks to the military days, but I feel good that the gym is out of the way and now I can focus on studying all day without having to run all over town.

Holy shit. Did I just say I feel good about studying all day? Oh my God...I should have had an emergency plan for this -- like, someone should be screaming "CODE GREEN!" and coming to my house right now to take me out for a morning beer to restore my equilibrium.

Things I'm thinking about but don't have time to write about:

Connie Chung = craaaaaaaaaazy bitch. Did you see that stunt with the piano? Holy crap.

Saddam Hussein's defense attorney = 3rd one in 8 months just got shot. That's a gig I think is probably just about the worst deal ever. Damned if you, damned if you don't.

Britney Spears = I am still thinking about that interview with Matt Lauer. God, is she totally insane or what? I am having nightmares about that wayward false eyelash. It looked like a caterpillar crawling off her face in an attempt to go live in her bushy unkempt eyebrow. Ick.

Nachos = lately I crave nachos all the time. How come I never crave wheat germ or brown rice? Sigh.

Alright, gotta run off to bar review...I'm late as always.

Tuesday, June 20, 2006

In a little district in a neighborhood...

I have actually been fairly productive today - I got my entire ConLaw outline done, but then of course my friend told me one of the tests he gave us is wrong so now I have to plow through the "big book" and try to figure that shit out. I am NOT a ConLaw person, so this is going v e r y slowly.

I was talking to one of my fave prof's yesterday morning and he asked me how bar review was going. I told him I didn't know why the bar couldn't test the subjects I actually LEARNED in law school. Law, Literature and Film? CHECK! I could write a million pages on To Kill A Mockingbird! Or, better yet, Admiralty Law. I got an award for getting the highest grade in the class and am working in the industry. Bring it on!

Real life marches on I suppose. I am becoming one with the library, which is depressing and yet comforting all at the same time for some reason. I have also become the de facto social organizer for my group of friends. Thus far I've got us on schedule for weekly lunches (Wednesdays), weekly happy hours (Fridays), and some supplemental "study sessions" (Saturday this week). I fully admit that I do this mostly to assuage my own guilty feelings regarding not wanting to drink alone, but so far all the happy hours have been fun. By Friday night everyone seems ready to have a couple of hours of relaxation -- last week we laughed so hard over an old story about Guacamole Kid (who sadly can't be here with us) -- we were all in tears.

Let's see...other news? My dad's friend Dental Ben is sending me a much-needed shipment of the Extra-Special Fantabulous Pens From that's good. I am keeping current on my pop culture (so important), and my beer drinking (extra double important), but not so much on my Bar/bri essays. Sigh. I think perhaps the worst part of my personality is turning out to be the fact that I need panic in order to be productive. Who knew?

Monday, June 19, 2006

It's my barbri and I'll cry if I want to.

ConLaw makes me feel...well...icky. Yucky. Ewwwww. Yes, it's that bad, and then some.

Our ConLaw lecturer looks like a professional boxer, is a former torch/showtunes singer (or something like that), and is rather a flamboyant prima donna. He has absolutely no patience for the fact that the microphone isn't working, but isn't afraid to spend 15 minutes on his own personal theory on how to organize a substantive due process analysis before any of us have any idea what that even is. Some of us still have no idea what that is. Not me, obviously. I mean, I TOTALLY know what substantive due process is...what do I look like? An idiot?

So, tonight I hit the ConLaw long outline, review the workbook, and lament the number of essays I'm behind on. Part of the problem seems to be figuring out a schedule that will work for me in terms of getting enough done every day and still getting to the gym, but I think tonight I came up with at least a semi-coherent plan. Plus, I just have to accept that I started three weeks later than the rest of the world and so my life is going to suck extra hard for awhile...oh well.

I wish I had something else to talk about, but unfortunately, I don't get out much these days. I went to spinning today and the cute guy in the bandana wasn't there. Boo hoo. :( I briefly considered trying to hit the gym BEFORE lecture in the morning, but I just don't know if I can get it done. I mean, when I was in the military, it was nothing to get up at 5:30 every day, but I'm soft now...undisciplined...lazy. I just don't think I can do it...what if I die from getting up too early? It could happen!

Oh yeah...the other crazy thing I have started to do is to become obsessed with this pen I really like. And, of course, it's not anything I can buy because I stole it from my dad's friend's dental office (my dad's best friend is "Ben"...aka "Dental Ben"). I told my dad to just tell Dental Ben that I am a total nutcase and BEG, BORROW or STEAL as many of those pens as he can get his hands on because I love them and I'm irrationally attached. I only have one now and if it gets lost I'm going to come unglued.

Sunday, June 18, 2006

Double bacon cheeseburger. It's for a cop.

Standing at grocery store talking to friend on phone.

Me: "How do you know if oranges are good or not?"

Friend: "I think the most important thing is that they have a nice tight skin. They shouldn't have loose skin."

Me: "So, I should look for nice, tight oranges? No loose oranges?"

Friend: "Yeah."

Me: "These oranges suck. They're dirty little sluts."

Friend: "HAHAHAHA"

People in store = not amused.


OK, I give up. I am never going to understand Property, and Admin seems to be OK, so I'm quitting for the night. I went to the grocery store, bought healthy food, and even did my dishes. We are turning in our first three graded essays tomorrow morning, and all of mine are AWFUL! Two Property and one Admin...yikes. In other news, I'm NINE essays behind in Property because I just don't have enough time to get them all done. I'm going to try to at least do three or four of them this week, plus outline the rest. Tomorrow we start ConLaw -- BLECH! I HATE ConLaw SO MUCH! I really do. Really.

I'm going to go watch some sort of mindless drivel on TV, read my fiction book, and catch up on some emails and stuff.

Saturday, June 17, 2006

Back on track.

Tonight Ex-Roomie and her boyfriend and I went to the fave Chimay-on-tap bar and played Trivial Pursuit. It was so fun, even though her boyfriend kicked both our asses pretty soundly and she accidentally left her purse there (although she got it back). I was diligent working all day today, so it was awesome to have a nice reward of time with friends and good beer. Unfortunately I have yet to do a single essay (OK, I did do one...poorly)...tomorrow will sadly be essay day and it's going to blow. But, I'll go to the gym so at least I can eat ice cream or something. A girl's gotta have a reward. Maybe I'll even cut out early and watch some TV. I hate the condensed 7-day-a-week bar/bri. It's awful.

Open Letter to Hot Guy At My Gym

Dear Hot Guy At My Gym Who Wears a Bandana,

Normally I don't find the bandana look all that attractive, but I must say, you manage to pull it off nicely. Speaking of pulling things off, how about those pants? Anyway, where was I?

Oh yeah. So, you are very cute. And, as it turns out, I am very desperate and very stressed out. Sadly, I am not as cute as I normally strive to be, but I'm sure you could find a way to overlook that...see above: desperation - which, as we know, lowers inhibitions only slightly less than Cuervo Gold.

About me. I am high-strung, slightly crazy, have obsessive perseverant thoughts, and mumble things at random moments like "PINE: Prescriptive, Implied, Necessity, Express..." I drink too much caffeine, don't sleep well, self-medicate with alcohol and candy, and am just, in general, a totally screwed up human being right now. But...ummmm...desperate. And stressed out.

Give me a call if any of this sounds good to you, I wrote my phone number of this piece of paper I tore out of my Bar/Bri book titled "Substantive Due Process" - I figure I need what you have more than I need that right now. Con Law is for chumps, cute boys in tight pants and bandanas are for moi.


E. Spat.

Friday, June 16, 2006

I hate you. so much. right now.

I hate bar review so much, I don't even think there are words in the English language with which I can express my disgust. I think so far the worst part is trying to figure out what is going to work for me and how I should be studying. Flash cards? Outline? Outline from the workbook or from the "big" book'o'law? Essays? Try to write them even though I know nothing or outline them and cheat? I want to bring a lawsuit against the school for not giving me a good enough education to allow me to pass the bar without a $2,000 separate course. GRRRR!

Also, one of my biggest peeves right now is that we started so much later than everyone else that we're basically on a crazy schedule (class every other Saturday, etc), and so I feel not overwhelmed or stressed out so much as pissed off and bitter. But, hey, what's new?

Anyway, the library is kicking me out so I guess I better gather my belongings and head to Starbucks, my new home away from home. Sigh. Maybe I'll at least see some cute boys there.

In other news, I shouldn't complain because GK is not only doing self-study bar/bri for his bar, but is doing it on his fishing boat while he commercial fishes this summer (I hope you all only buy wild salmon!!!!!)...his crew and family counts on him fishing (plus he loves it) and so he's doing it plus studying at the same time. I told him I hope he passes just so that I can tell people I know someone who is an actual bar exam God.

Thursday, June 15, 2006

Open the floodgates

I don't normally share very personal things with my parents...we just don't have that kind of a relationship. But, tonight, for some reason, I told my mom something that was bothering me a bit that I would normally keep from her. And she told me something that she has been keeping a secret for a long time (probably 25 years). Neither "secret" was terribly awful or life altering or traumatic or anything like that, in fact, both are probably pretty harmless. It just makes me wonder what other interesting things my mom has in her past...she always seems so innocent and naive!!! And, as I said, nothing that was said was earth-shattering at all, but I'm glad we had such a good talk.

It was a little bit weird though.

I blew off essays tonight and went out for beers. Here's to procrastination!

Also, who saw Britney Whorebag Spears on Dateline tonight? Holy SHIT she looked awful. My God. She's got about $10000000 kajillion dollars and she can't get someone to do her makeup and put in some extensions that at least LOOK real?!

Give me your best bar exam advice.

Leave me a comment with your single best piece of advice for surviving the bar exam. After a day or two I'll take all the comments and put them in a post that other people can link to. I want to hear it all - healthy living, quirky habits, reading, outlining, essays (we're all essays in this state)...all of it.

Wednesday, June 14, 2006

Happy Graduation to ME!

In honor of finally getting out of law school, and not shooting myself in the process, I bought myself a 4GB Ipod Nano. I heart it. It has a pink cover and lots of songs and is small so I can take it to the gym, and it has playlists which is SO MUCH BETTER than the Shuffle. Yay.

I've been a total freak the last two days because of a bunch of weird shit going on in my life (ie: people moving away, graduation, parents in and then out of town, etc.), being overtired, and in general, due to the fact that it is becoming apparent to me that I am not handling change well at the moment. Bar/bri is going fine. I mean, what the hell can I say about sitting in a room all morning listening to lectures, then going to another room and making outlines/writing essays for the rest of the day?

I went to Spinning class at the gym today. I feel productive.

I'm off to do more review, but I'm going to do it at Starbucks and don't you think I earned a cookie? Yeah. Me too.

Tuesday, June 13, 2006

Best. Sweatshirt. EVER!

GK brought me a sweatshirt from a cool bar in Homer, Alaska, called The Salty Dawg Saloon. This is one of those places that everyone who goes to Alaska HAS to go visit, and it's famous, and all that jazz. So, anyway, GK is rad and brought me a sweatshirt when he came back for graduation.

So, tonight I went to the gym and afterwards I threw on the sweatshirt and ran into the grocery store.

First aisle. Guy comes up to me and goes "Oh man, I've been to The Salty Dawg!" Uh...ok.

Fourth aisle. Guy and his wife are walking by me, he turns to her and goes "The Salty Dawg, I've been there!"

Produce section. Guy comes around the corner, stares at my chest for a minute, and then goes "Oh! The Salty Dawg!" Then, he looks up at my face (FINALLY) and GUESS WHO IT IS??? The guy who I went on a date with like two months ago who wanted to know if I would go camping in his VW Bus with him! BAHAHAHAHAHA. Yeah right! Anyway, he never called me again after declaring me to be high-maintenance and saying he didn't think he could keep up with me (Yeah. Duh.), and so I just never thought about him again. Until tonight.

So, he goes, "Uh. Hey." And I finally see a chance to get out all the aggression I've been storing up, and I'm like "Blah blah blah...just graduated...blah blah blah." Anything to force him to stand there awkwardly. I told him all about how GK brought me the sweatshirt, and graduation, etc. Then, he's trying desperately to figure out what to say and so he says something like, "So, you are still looking?" When I figure out he means, "still single," I decide to go for broke. "Oh yeah, you know, I had to quit dating because all the men I was meeting were so flaky. They would say they'd call and then not call, they all thought I was too busy and were totally judgmental, I just haven't been on a decent date in YEARS!" God, it was so funny. I feel like I won the creating an awkward moment for someone who deserve it lottery. YAY!

I'm going to sleep good tonight. My work here is done.

Day 2 of my life in Hell.

Today we had our first real substantive day of bar review. Yeah. This is gonna suck. I went to Starbucks with a couple of my friends after the lecture, and we worked on our outlines and stuff, which was cool. But, I'm still really going to hate several weeks of thinking about nothing but The Law. Ick.

I'm also not using my computer during the lectures or anything, and so far I'm not studying at school much either, which means no wireless, which means no blogging. Guess I'm going to have to figure out all this stuff. Right now I am trying to catch up on some sleep, figure out a gym schedule, and figure out some times that my friends and I can get together for regularly scheduled outings that will hopefully keep us all in touch (and me from going crazy). Last night was really depressing after my parents and some of my friends left -- I felt so lonely and awful, but I think it'll all be OK once I get a little bit of a normal schedule going.

Anyway, I know I'm rambling, so I think I'll go to the gym and try to clear my head -- just bear with me while I figure out what the heck is going on.

Monday, June 12, 2006

I'm so tired.

I know I owe an update, but I am so tired I can't even think. The parents left directly after graduation yesterday afternoon, and I ended up going to dinner and hanging out drinking with the Guacamole Kid clan, who were so wonderful and fantastic. They were so nice to me and let me become an adopted member of the family for one night, which was really special for me since my own family wasn't able to stay in town and be there. The downside is that I stayed up too late, then had to get up at the crack of dawn and head to my first day of Bar/bri. Fun! OK, not really. Let me tell you how much I'm already loving the "condensed" bar review schedule I have since I graduated so late. I haven't had a full night's sleep since before exams last week, so I'm starting to be even crazier and more emotional than usual, which sucks. With everyone heading out yesterday and today I feel really lonely and depressed and worried about different things that I probably can't control anyway. Gotta get back to my real life, with sleep, and the gym, and eating "food" instead of "booze." And soon!

Anyway, I will try to get back on a "normal" blogging schedule here pretty soon. But first, sleep.

Saturday, June 10, 2006


Mama Spatula: "Look at my new knitting project."

Me: "Oh, it's cute, what is it?"

Mama Spatula: "It's a baby blanket."

Me: "Are you having a baby?"

Mama Spatula: "No. But hopefully before I die you will."

Friday, June 09, 2006

I'm alive.

My parents are on their way here so we can go out, so this has to be short.

1. I'm alive.

2. Just barely.

3. My parents came over at 8am this morning and I had to send them back to the hotel because I was so hungover.

4. I told them I was just "exhausted" because I've "been working so hard."

5. First we went to breakfast and I almost threw up on the table when my mom ate a ham and cheese and egg bagel.

6. After a two-hour nap, and some Diet Coke, I think I might live.

7. I'll blog more when I have time/after they leave tonight.

8. Beer+tequila+vodka+rum=horribleawfulterriblepleaseohpleasegodletmediesoon.

Wednesday, June 07, 2006

I'm DONE!*




*technically I do have to turn in a paper tomorrow -- but I worked on it all day today, now I'm going drinking.

Tuesday, June 06, 2006

Bring us a pitcher of beer every seven minutes until somebody passes out. And then bring one every ten minutes.

I seriously want to marry this guy. I was hysterical reading his responses to the emails he got (scroll to bottom), and it only made it better that I was reading in an English accent. Well, you know, my extremely craptastic version of an English accent which sounds like Mary Poppins, only on crack and with no teeth and a terrible, terrible headache.

In other news, why won't my parents (who I love very much) get a cell phone? WHY? The answer is, to torture me. They have no idea when they'll be here on Thursday, no idea where they're going, and no way to contact me in either regard. They are definitely going to get stuck in rush hour, which means that, since our sucktacular (I already used craptastic and I'm trying to quit cursing so much on here) "graduation party" which consists of "being held prisoner on a boat with overpriced booze and people who wouldn't talk to me lo these last three years" starts at 8, I am likely going to miss seeing them when the finally get into town, after they drove all day to see me.

I'm totally going to hell.

In other, other news, the Law of Oceans and Coasts is no more in my brain now than it was several hours ago. The book has brand new shiny shiny orange tabs (OK, not shiny, but rather a moderate sheen I think...could be the chips I had for dinner though), and isn't that almost the same as learning the material? The problem is I have NO FREAKING IDEA where he's going to go with the exam, but if experience proves me right, it will be nothing we ever really did in class or read in the text, so studying is probably worthless anyway. I'm going to watch "The Deadliest Catch" though, and doesn't that count for something?

Next time I talk to you I'll be done with law school. WOOHOO!

A real question, not just comment-whoring.

I'm considering getting either both my parents, or just my mom (as my dad would rather have my mom get stuff like this) a gift to thank them for all their support of me during the last three years ("Uh yeah, Mom and Dad, I'm getting my second divorce, leaving the military, and going to law school, which is going to plunge me into a giant well of debt and depression, causing me to spend three years doubting my very existence and forcing me into therapy. Sound good? Can you send me fifty bucks?").

For my mom, I was thinking of a simple necklace or other piece of jewelry (she doesn't have pierced ears), since she really doesn't have any specific interests that I could buy a gift for. My dad, wow, he's tough. All he loves are bikes, and he works at a bike store with a ridiculous discount and buys everything he wants, and it's all top of the line (re: I can't afford to even look at things he would like).

Did anyone do anything like this for their family when they graduated? What kinds of stuff did you get?

Here's a brief description of my parents: Down to earth, outdoorsy, love to garden, exercise-a-holics, daily hikes with the dog, enough money to pretty much have everything they need and most of what they want, simple, not into jewelry or flashy things (except my dad with sports cars, boats, and bikes...all things outside my price range), nature lovers, would be embarassed that I'm even considering this, pragmatic, realistic, funny, non-drinkers, religious, country/rural type people.

Fifty percent is a lot. It's half.

I am half done with my exams. Today I had BusOrgs. Done! I will admit that after about the third question, when I realized I had probably written enough "technically" to was hard to force myself to finish it all out. But, I did, and now it's done.

Tomorrow, I have Ocean and Coastal Law: The Final. I also have Ocean and Coastal Law: The Paper, which still has to be BlueBooked (damnit).

So, the plan is that I will spend the morning taking the exam, the afternoon finishing the paper, and then Ex-Roomie and I will spend some portion of the night drinking. YAY!

I may have already had a LITTLE bit to drink today since once of my friends was done after BusOrgs and I didn't think it would be right to let him celebrate alone! Unfortunately getting motivated for studying is difficult after two beers and a giant sausage (which sounds dirty, but was just lunch).

In 24 hours (or so), I will be done with law school.


Monday, June 05, 2006

An Open Letter to the Dude at my Gym

Dear Dude at my Gym,

Yeah, you. In the MC Hammer-style lifting pants, and the sleeveless t-shirt advertising...what is that...a tanning product? God, you f*cking tool. Sigh.

Anyway, here's the thing. People come to the gym for a few reasons. To work out. To hit on good looking people of whatever gender they are personally inclined to hit on. To get away from their nagging wife/husband/kids. To study for their BusOrgs exam while burning off some percentage of the 1lb. bag of Mega M&M's they ate today. Whatever. The reason isn't important.

The one thing you won't notice above as a reason people come to the gym? To listen to you talk on your cell phone. WHILE you're on the treadmill. In the middle of the gym. Surrounded by people who are actually trying to workout, relax, make deposits into the spank bank, and burn off Mega M&M's.

The fact that your phone is deposited between your extra-hairy shoulder, which I can tell is ripe and sweaty, even from the Elliptical Bank'O'Low-Impact two rows back, and your gross ear, also buried in sweaty hair (you are one hairy, sweaty motherf*cker, you know?), just makes me want to barf. Seriously.

Also, you're talking on your cell phone. ON the treadmill. AT the gym. What is WRONG with you? Oh well, don't let a little thing like "social norms" or "etiquette" or "being curteous to those around you" stop you from having your Very Important Conversation. I'm sure whatever it is just couldn't wait.

Go Straight to Hell.


E. Spat.

The kids like it when I "get down" verbally.


Natural Resource Defense Council v. Daley, 209 F.3d 747

"The disputed 1999 TAL had at most an 18% likelihood of achieving the target F. Viewed differently, it had at least an 82% chance of resulting in an F greater than the target F. Only in Superman Comics' Bizarro world, where reality is turned upside down, could the Service reasonably conclude that a measure that is at least four times as likely to fail as to succeed offers a "fairly high level of confidence.'"

Emphasis obviously added by a highly amused me. That might just be the exam brain talking though.

In other news, I'm seriously considering killing my office mate, who is, right this moment, SLURPING something (sssssssssssssssssslurp, sssssssssssssssssssslurp) and keeps furtively getting up and running in and out of the office, turning the computer on and off each time he goes (Ding, ding, ding...Windows is shutting down motherf*cker!), like he's protecting state secrets and I'm a Soviet mole or something.

Homicide is OK if you're really annoyed. Discuss.

Sunday, June 04, 2006

I smell good!

Tonight at Starbucks, studying with two friends, the female friend went "Someone or something really smells good? It keeps wafting over and it smells good! Do you smell it?" And so, jokingly, I went, "Ha, it's probably me!" So, she stuck her nose up to my neck (male friend watching with something between curiousity and intense confusion), and goes "It IS you!"

Didja get that people? I smell so good it WAFTS over people in Starbucks and makes them SWOON! Or at least makes them validate my $100 perfume that I bought with the ex-bf in mind, and which I'm glad he wasn't around long enough to become associated with in my mind so that it would be ruined forever, because there's quite a bit left in the bottle. I heart smelling good.

Go visit my friend's new blog.

My friend, going by the codename "Veritas" started a blog and he's really funny and a good writer, so you should go read it. He's also been nice enough to offer to guest blog for me at some point, so as soon as he comes up with a topic and writes it up, you'll also see some of his writing around here. Yay!

A Pack of Camels and a Pot of Coffee

When I say "STUDY" you say "BREAK"

Yeah, I am going to totally fail both my finals because I have the attention span of a coked up hummingbird.

I did watch both a Lifetime Movie AND a 2-hour Kathy Griffin special. I failed absolutely in forcing myself to care about the Business Judgment Rule, and I ate WAY TOO MUCH, but at least I went to the gym.

I have about 38 hours to figure out Bus Orgs, and I need to at least start thinking about Ocean and Coastal, which promises to be a problem since there are (literally) probably 1,000 slides from the class presentations, plus an entire book, but no common ground between what's in the book and what was presented in class...oh yay, double studying!

In other news -- I'm considering sending homemade cookies to my friend stationed in the Desert, and packages take about a week and a half to get there. But, I'm afraid they'll be totally gross...does anyone have any experience with this specific subject? Leave a comment or email me.

UPDATE: BWAHAHAHA...I used my evil powers of persuasion to get one of my friends to agree to go out to a coffee shop and at least sit with me while we both study separate subjects...I need socialization people! Off I go...too bad I hate coffee, guess it's tea and crumpets and Bus Orgs for me.

Just for the freshmaker taste of it....

An astute reader, and 1L at the TVPNU (who took me out to lunch once as well!), sent me this awesome video.

Diet Coke meets Mentos meets The Bellagio Dancing Fountains. Y

Kind of needs sound for true appreciation.

Weekly Law School Roundup...passing the torch.

The Weekly Law School Roundup has smoothly passed into the capable of hands of kristine at divine angst. Her first Roundup is...up...and she did a great job. I can graduate in peace now!

Saturday, June 03, 2006

DAMN the man.

I keep trying to study for BusOrgs and falling asleep in my book. I've tried caffeine, catnaps, marshmallows, ice cream, Mexican food, and study breaks...all to no avail.

Maybe God WANTS me to fail?

It's becoming increasingly clear to me that without some sort of threat (joblessness, not graduating) hanging over my head, I can't perform. I mean, even with my miserable and insufficient level of preparedness, I'm still gonna pass the class. I might get a terrible grade, but showing up and writing my name in crayon will get me past "F" level...and I probably don't even have to spell my name right.

I actually feel like I have a reasonably decent grip on quite a bit of the material, there are some things I didn't read during the quarter though that I know I need to read before Tuesday morning, which is what I am TRYING to do...not that I've got anything to show for it (well, some highlighter marks on my arm from when I fell asleep and it slipped out of my hand).

Ocean and Coastal Law is even worse, although at least I got the paper done (minus citations which will, I'm sure, provide yet another opportunity for abject misery in the upcoming days).

I will be so happy on Wednesday afternoon when this part is all over. I'm going to put off worrying about the bar for at least 12 hours after graduation, which is exactly how long we get to rest before bar review starts. The joy of the quarter system extends right into bar review. Starting late? CHECK! Compressed schedule? CHECK! Six days a week? CHECK CHECK! JOY!

Anyway, I'm off topic set of horribles at a time. BusOrgs. Sigh. Who decided proxy contests were something I needed to know?

Star-crossed lovers at the 7-11

Today at 7-11 while I was getting my daily Diet Coke Super Big Gulp, there was a REALLY attractive man ALSO getting a Diet Coke Super Big Gulp.

Our eyes met over the soda fountain.

We laughed over the fact that they were out of the "big" lids.

Angels sang.

Fireworks exploded.

Diet Coke flowed through the land like water, and every man, woman and child had a 44oz cup with which to scoop up the delicious carbonated goodness.

And then, I left and he went back to looking for peanuts with his friend.

In my whole entire life I never wanted so much to see my experience on the Craigslist "Missed Connections." I want to freaking marry this dude.

Friday, June 02, 2006

This song is stuck in my head...make it go awaaaaaaaay.....

I have actually said on here probably 100 times that I LOVE the Bradley Nowell and Friends: Sublime Acoustic CD, it's on pretty much constant rotation in my CD player and has been for several years. BUT, for some reason this song has been stuck in my head for the past couple of days and I can't get rid of it...I love it, but not on a constant basis!

Sublime: Freeway Time in LA County Jail

On the freeway in the county
The sun don't shine
I feel, I feel, I feel
I feel a Bati man
And outside my cell
Deputies creep
And in this cell
All I do is sleep
And I dream
That I'm free
And I'm back on the reef
Where I throw my net
Out into the sea
All the fine hanas come swimming to me
They hold me and they promise me things
And when the tide's high I cry like a little baby
Don't give me no right kind a love on a Sunday morning
Don't want no puppy loving
Hold me babe, a new stylee
Hungry babe, a new stylee
And an angry dog is a hungry dog
And a hungry dog is an angry dog
I feel like rocking
I wanna rock with you!

I'm alive gotta contact home
Gotta contact my baby girl
But I would never could get up
Why does it have to be so damn tough?
With mayates and the eses
Yes they're steady on the floor
I'll be damned if a man with a shake in his hand will make me feel
I feel a Bati man
And I know
That I'm there someday

I'm back on the reef
Where I throw my net
Out into the sea
All the fine hanas come swimming to me
Hold me baby promise me
With no protection on my erection I won't get no VD
Don't give me no right kind a love on a Sunday morning
Don't want no puppy loving
Go on!
Hold me babe, got a new stylee
And an angry dog's a hungry dog
He's a naked man is a naked man
And a wicked dog is a hungry dog
I feel like rocking
I wanna rock with you!

Exxon Was Here: Make them pay! - More News

In my grand plan to make you guys more environmentally aware, here is what Exxon has to say about the possibility of the reopener becoming a reality:

Hundreds of studies by Exxon have shown the environmental impact to be less serious than claimed by other researchers. Boudreaux said Exxon didn't know of any new scientific studies that would merit reopening the settlement.

"We believe Prince William Sound is healthy, it's robust, it's thriving," Boudreaux said.

Now, let's look at the pictures again:

I'm alive.

But just barely.

I spent all day yesterday until around midnight working on a paper I have due for my Oceans and Coastal Law class, and then came back to school and finished it (mostly) this morning...I'm not entirely sure whether I'm allowed to talk about it or not before it's turned in, so I'll just say that all I have left to do are citations. Sigh.

In other news, exams are Tuesday and Wednesday.

My BusOrgs exam is on Tuesday morning.






Yeah, I don't think so either.

Thursday, June 01, 2006

I'm politically incorrect...a rant.

**This is long, rant-y, and concerns a subject that most people have strong feelings about...but I felt like getting it off my chest. Read at your own risk.

You know what won't stop the war? Military personnel going without equipment they need. I swear, I hate living here sometimes because there seems to be a pervasive belief that military personnel have any say whatsoever about policy decisions made by Congress and the President. Soldiers (by which I mean Soldiers, Sailors, Airmen and Marines) go and soldiers do...and they vote. That's it. Just like everyone else. They don't decide when we go to war and when we come home, and no amount of protesting and trying to stop cargo ships from taking them things they (presumably) need is going to change that.

The argument that military personnel should "not go" or should "stand up and say no" when asked to go to Iraq is idiotic and is uniformly made by people who have no idea what being in the military means. You take an oath. You are bound to protect and serve the U.S. Constitution and the orders of the officers appointed over you, including those of the President. If those orders were to be declared illegal, that would be one thing, but until then, working military men and women have no choice but to do their duty, and likely wouldn't have it any other way -- because they believe in what they do and they are professionals.

How many of these protestors would go to Fort Leavenworth for what they believe? And I don't mean a night in jail for civil disobedience ("Daddy? Is that you? I need you to post bail, I got arrested at a die-in"), I mean years of hard time for treason, insubordination, failure to follow lawful orders during a time of war, or failure to go.

Would any of these protestors actually DIE for their cause?? Because military personnel have put their bodies where their mouths are, they ARE willing to die for a cause. The cause of protecting America. The cause of keeping us all safe. The cause of safeguarding our liberty.

Even if you don't believe in the war (and not many people do), what about the military's humanitarian missions? Lifesaving medical aid in catastrophes? Logistical support during emergencies both domestic and international? Selfless service in the face of nearly insurmountable obstacles, including derision by the general public they are serving?

I am so sick and tired of people making the simplistic argument of "why don't you just say no" (a common argument presented to me all the time regarding the "Don't Ask Don't Tell policy" as well). And the reason that this story has been pissing me off so much is that lately I've seen a couple of bumper stickers "urging" military members to "just say no and don't go" to the war, and I've heard people espousing that same general sentiment out in public. Maybe it's been a hot topic on the news and that's why people are talking about it, but I kind of doubt it. It seems like one of those things dreamed up by someone with absolutely no earthly idea of how the military works or is organized and thinks it's just like their job assistant managing the Footlocker at the mall. Quit if you don't like it?! Not so much!

For a bunch of people who are protesting something they supposedly feel strongly about, they just couldn't do a worse job. It makes me so mad. If you're going to spend the effort protesting, why not protest to the people who actually can make a difference??? I'm all for free speech, but no military member has the power to make the decision to get us out of Iraq, that's an issue for Congress and the President, and that's where political activism should be directed. So, why try to deprive military personnel of equipment they need? If it makes them safer, improves their living conditions, boosts their morale, or keeps them healthy and happy, why take that away from them? Does the fact that it's warfighting equipment make the difference? What if it's new equipment that is actually armored and will save American servicemember's lives? How does taking anything from the warfighter on the ground help the cause? He or she isn't making the big decisions...we all know this, right?

I have friends in Iraq right now. Good friends. Believe me when I tell you that no one is more against open warfare than the people being shot at and blown up in roadside bombs.
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