Things that would make me feel better right now:
1. A Cabana Boy who would stand next to me holding an ice cold Diet Coke with a straw so I didn't have to move at all.
2. A Cabana Boy who would stand next to me and massage my temples while telling me that I am the boss of him.
3. French fries.
4. A memo from my Evidence professor promising to never make us do group work again.
5. If all of the sudden a big bunch of flowers appeared and they were for me and had a nice card with something sappy written on it...even if it was just Cabana Boy making something up to make me happy.
6. If ice-cream was discovered to have no calories at all.
7. If marshmallows were the antidote to hangovers.
8. If beer was available out of the water fountains at school.
9. If a hot boy in a loincloth named Sven appeared right now and said he'd been searching for me his whole life and his only purpose, as handed down to him by God, was to give me back rubs and clean my bathroom.
10. If there was a way to teleport to Tahiti.
11. If there was a good Mexican restaurant within walking distance of the library.
12. A box of Cocoa Krispies.
13. If I was walking down the street and saw a big shiny diamond and it could be mine and I could keep it in my pocket and look at it all the time. And it would be shiny.
14. If "they" would invent a plastic fork that never breaks off while you're trying to eat something with it.
15. If I could magically afford a car and still be able to pay to live and go to school...alternatively, I will take the car and give up school. It's a tough choice, but I'm willing to make it.
This message brought to you by "My Escapist Fantasies."
