Friday, April 22, 2005

The long winding road from the movie Sahara to my lack of a Cabana Boy.

Today I went and saw Sahara. It was pretty good. And by "good" I mean "HOLY CRAP Matthew McConaughey is SO FREAKING HOT!"

For that matter, Steve Zahn is kinda hot too, mainly because he's just so funny (although he's cute too). He's the guy I would go for in real life. Fantasy life is all about Matthew, but Steve is pretty damn funny and seems like he would be fun to have some drinks with.

I need a Cabana Boy. How come no one has applied? Well, technically that's not true. Here's an example of my latest adventure in almost dating.

I met a guy at a bar at a little get together, not a stranger, but a friend of a friend. He seemed nice, older than me (by about 10-12 years), OK looking...just generally a pretty decent guy (or so it seemed).

We had a few drinks and then he asked if he could drive me home. I told him that he could, but that he couldn't come in AT ALL and it was literally going to be just driving me home...nothing else (note that he was NOT a stranger, and our mutual friend who lives across the street from me is a big scary guy who drove home right in front of us the whole way). He agreed and so we got in his freaking swank Mercedes and he proceeded to drive me the couple of miles to my apartment.

About halfway home the following conversation takes place:

Him: "So, you're very cute."
Me: "Thanks, but you're not coming in."
Him: "Why, you've never had a one night stand?"
Me: "I'm not going to even discuss that with you...I'm trying to grow up and not have that kind of crap in my life anymore."
Him: "Well, it's late...and you know, I should be getting home to my girlfriend."
Me: "Uh...huh...what?"
Him: "Well, you know, I have a girlfriend."
Me: "Why are you trying to pick me up then?"
Him: "I'm just not sure where it's going, and you're really cute and so I thought I would just drive you home so we could talk because you seem so nice and you're funny." (blah blah blah -- ed.)
At this point we are at my apartment, so I grab the door handle and start to get out of the car.
Him: "So, you're really not going to ask me in?"
Me: "No, I am really not going to."
Him: "But why, it would be fun and not serious....just a good time for both of us." (yeah right...that's what they all say -- ed.)
Me (finally losing my temper): "If you think I am going to play second fiddle to some pathetic chick that you don't even respect enough to be faithful to, you have lost your mind. I am an AWESOME person and I absolutely am done being with men who treat me like an afterthought."
Him: "Uh...well, if I'm not coming in I guess I should get home."
Me: "Yeah, whatever."

So, as you can see...I am making progress in the self-esteem arena, and yet, still attracting men who for some reason think that I just LOOK like the kind of girl who wants to be treated like shit. What is it about me? I think I come across as a very funny, together, smart, confident person (and I'm really starting to believe that inside)...and yet men either hate me, dismiss me because I don't meet their physical specifications, or want to embroil me in a big old ball of drama where they will treat me like crap and I will take it in the hope that someday they will be the man I need.

Blah. Men.

This post went seriously off track about 1/4 of the way into it...I apologize. I just couldn't help myself. I wasn't going to tell that story on the blog but then it just seemed like it needed to be was BEGGING to be told. Honestly, at the time it happened I told M., and she said "That's probably the healthiest interaction you've had with a man in ten years." And it's true...I felt so totally empowered after I told that guy off, but honestly, I feel like it's also an omen about the type of man I attract. Maybe I need to switch perfumes or something.
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