Suprisingly a guy stupid enough to try to set a house on fire without actually lighting anything has been caught at least 18 times before. Perhaps he should get together with the guy a couple posts down who is able to blow up his entire house using only some illicit firework ingredients and a metal spoon and cup. They could be "Team Natural Selection." Except the other guy already killed his dumb self. Guess we'll have to wait...oh...about 5 minutes for another dumbass to turn up.