Dear Self,
We've had this talk before. Just because you are the wee little bit-iest hungover is no reason to torture yourself like this.
No good ever came of a movie where Shannon Elizabeth goes on a low-carb diet to "lose weight" and describes some guy as "you know, THAT guy, the one no girl could ever be good enough for...especially me!"
Oh yes, the horrors of being Shannon Elizabeth. It must be so hard! What a trooper to endure the sheer wretchedness of it all, I only wish we could all be so brave in the face of adversity.
I want you to promise to quit doing this to...uh...yourself. And this time mean it!
Yours truly,
E. Spat.
PS: Lifetime Movie Channel is the devil.
