Monday, May 16, 2005

I'll let you get back to Reginald's quivering member.

I am eating grapes for dessert.

Yeah, you heard me right. I'm pretending they're ice cream.

I'm also pretending that I don't have an exam in two days by watching TV and blogging (and eating grapes) while simultaneously pretending that James Spader is on his way over here to make me a drink and spend the rest of the night attending to my every wanton desire.

Have you ever noticed reality kinda sucks?

Also, I just finished a romance novel my mom lent me. My MOM read this? Oh my GOD, it's just! How can my mom read this? Does she know these words? WHY did she lend it to me? Didn't she know that then I might know that she knows these words?

There was......oral copulation in this book! NOOOOOOOOOOOOO! My mom does not know about that. NO! Delicate flowers of love were coaxed into bloom. Sweet, sweet soul shattering love was made. ALOT. Kitchen tables were soiled with the hedonistic call of passionate pleasuring. Frothy peach negligees were ripped off. Nubile young women were overcome with the sheer wonderment at all their body could feel when touched by the magical hands of a rock-hard man with a heart of gold.

Good lord. I can't believe my mom reads this stuff. I mean, sure, I read this stuff...but my MOM? Jesus.

Also, on a totally different subject, today I was out walking with my friend when some dirty looking chick and her creepy boyfriend walked by and all I could think to say was "OHMYGOD, even that CRACKWHORE has a boyfriend...I haven't been on a date in like, two years. WAHHHHHHHH!!!!"
This blog is sponsored by The Reeves Law Group at 515 South Flower Street, 36th Floor. Los Angeles CA 90071. (213) 271-9318