Tuesday, November 30, 2004

Oops, I'm still a stupid slut -- love, Britney

Britney, along with hubby Kevin, "King of all that is White Trash," is at it again, proclaiming her deep and abiding need to pass on her disgusting genetic information to a bunch of crumb-snatching entitled little monsters. My pal LQ pointed out to me that I was slacking in that it's been several days since this story came out and I have yet to comment. Well, the time is here folks.

The newlywed singer, who is widely rumored to be pregnant, has posted a message on her subscription-only fan site, in which she rhapsodizes over the joys of staying home and cooking, advocates having children while you’re still young, and proclaims that mothers shouldn’t work outside the home. Spears recently announced that she was taking at least a few years off before
touring again.


“A lot of people think you should wait till you’re older to have kids,” Spears writes. “I’ve had a career since I was 16, have traveled around the world & back and even kissed Madonna! The only thing I haven’t done so far is experience the closest thing to God and that’s having a baby. I
can’t wait!” The “Toxic” singer opines that it’s important to have children when you’re young — like her own mother, who “looked sexy in her black dress [when she went to church and] would come home and put on her size 2 shorts and a bikini top to wash the car & get a tan at the same time.”



I thought this was intriguing and knew I had to read the whole thing...so as master of the Google universe, I went out and found the whole letter (via Stereogum).

Britney’s Letters: A letter to mom for
Thanksgiving11.22.2004


This week is Thanksgiving, a time of year to reflect on all of our blessings and everything we are most thankful for. In that respect, I want to dedicate this letter to my mom.

It's 10pm and Kori is sound asleep. Today, for the first time I made a roast with carrots, potatoes, corn and my favorite garlic bread. It was amazing, if I do say so myself! I used my own recipe too. My feet are really starting to sink into my new home, especially the kitchen. When I was younger, the kitchen was always the room in the house where we would all end up hanging out. Cooking is kind of like motherhood. To be really good at it, you don't need instructions. You kind of just go on instinct and what feels right.

My mom was the best at everything but she wasn't a Stepford wife at all. She had her own way of doing things. Some of the women where we are from went to church every week, but also gossiped the entire time they were there. These women also worshiped their husbands in a weird way and talked to their kids as if they were a principal lecturing a student instead of a mother to her child. Living in a small town can make it so easy to just follow the mold and go along with how everyone else does things. But my mom managed to set her own course and not get corrupted into doing things like all the other women. She would go to church every week like everyone else, but she always looked sexy in her black dress and she was the one all the other women would
gossip about. She would come home and put on her size 2 shorts and a bikini top to wash the car & get a tan at the same time, then come inside and manage to make the best chicken dumplings before going on a two mile run and then end the night by making the best chocolate shakes for us before we went to bed.


My mom was and still is a Supermom. She is just so much fun and I think the reason why I relate to her so well is because she's a young mom. A lot of people think you should wait till you're older to have kids. I've had a career since I was 16, have traveled around the world & back and even
kissed Madonna! The only thing I haven't done so far is experience the closest thing to God and that's having a baby. I can't wait! I thought I would never say this, but I love not working so much! To be a really good mom, I feel your child needs to be your full time job. I want to raise my kids and share all of those precious moments with them and not rely on nannies. Spending time at home over the past few months, I have felt richer than I ever did working all the time. My soul feels rich and that doesn't have anything to do with money or material things. To feel content, I just need a roof over my head and to be surrounded by the people I love. That's why I'm dedicating this letter to my mom and all of the mom's out there. What would the world do without you?
Mom, thanks for being the best role model ~ you rock!
Love,B



GAG! Oh my god, my mom would shoot me in the head if I wrote her a letter like this. However, I'm glad to hear the Brit-ster's soul is feeling rich...it's probably a result of the bazillions of dollars in her bank account. My soul feels poor...as does the rest of me. But, I guess if your criteria for great motherhood is looking good in a bikini, maybe it's easier to have a rich feeling soul since it's not really that deep and probably gets filled up real easy. Also, it's kind of ironic that her cooking is bringing her such joy since her restaurant failed in what, like 3 days? I could go on and on but class starts in 10 minutes. More to come later on Ms. Spears.

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