Most intriguing quote? "Trousers finally secure around his waist, the would-be street fighter opened the front door, looked at the deputies, assumed a fighting stance with closed fists, and received a two-second blast of pepper spray to the face."
Perhaps the best part is the police blotter entry just BELOW Mr. Kung Fu. I guess we've all been there. Right? Not just me. Right?
Officers standing at the intersection of Sabado Tarde Road and Camino del Sur observed an 18-year-old woman standing at the southeast corner of the intersection crying and having trouble keeping her balance.Officers attempted to contact the woman, who smelled strongly of alcohol and was slurring her words. However, the woman had more important business to attend to. "I can't talk to you," she said to the officers. "I have to talk on my cell phone." As she made the comment, she started falling backwards, and had to be caught by a deputy standing behind her. The reporting deputy noted that she did not trip or stumble before falling - "she simply fell backward with a blank expression on her face."
UPDATE: OMG, it gets better and better. The THIRD entry on the blotter boasts this gem:
When the deputies spotted the man, he was standing in the middle of the crowd of several hundred people with his penis exposed through his unzipped pants, swaying side to side with a dazed look on his face. Not impressed by the man's idea of a firefighter costume, one of the deputies took him by the arm and dragged him out of the street. The man replaced his "fire hose" as they walked and attempted to zip up his pants with his free arm.God, maybe I should see if we have a job writing about the police blotter for the TVPNU school paper, I could really make stuff like this my own. Crazies and idiots provide all the best material.