Sunday, January 23, 2005


Scott requested that I blog about my last (he points out that he means "most recent" rather than "last ever"...thank God) kiss. I looked it up, and Blogging Rule 318.329(a)(1)(C) says that I can change requests around in order to write something that's actually interesting...and by "interesting" I mean "not in a bar, fueled by Tequila, and/or prelude to the proverbial one-night stand", so, I am changing Scott's request to "tell us about your most recent AMAZING kiss." Wow Scott, great question!

The year? 2003 (sad, I know). The place? None a yer bizness. I had developed a playful and flirtatious relationship with a man I knew. This man was amazing. When he laughed his eyes sounds stupid, but it's true. They would crinkle up just a little bit in the corners and he always looked right at me when I talked and I knew he was paying attention to every word I said. And he The way a man smells to me is probably one of the top three things I notice about him. I always know I'm in love when I just can't get enough of the way a man smells, when I'm secretly sneaking his t-shirts to sniff when he's not around. Conversely, I always know I'm not in love anymore when the man I'm with doesn't smell good anymore, no matter what he does.

Anyway, back to the story. So, this man had amazing eyes, smelled really good, was funny as hell, and had the most amazing shoulders ever. In other words, he was so attractive that whenever he flirted with me I would quickly look behind me to make sure there wasn't some blonde Barbie standing there. Unfortunately for Mr. Perfect, I was on my way to law school and he was pretty settled into what he was doing with his life, so clearly there wasn't going to be any real relationship. We defaulted into a fun "drinking buddy" type of friendship that was exciting to me by the total repression of the whole other attraction issue...nothing is more intriguing then the part where you're still wondering when and if "it" will ever happen. The sexual attraction was the elephant in the room, and for a long time, we both just let Mr. Elephant hang out with us, enjoying the brew and the laughs, but not really paying his own way.

Finally, one night we were at a bar. An old fashioned kind of bar, with bar stools and rednecks dancing to a jukebox and a bartender who only knew how to make "Jack" and "Beer." So, we sat on some bar stools and were just talking and laughing and making fun of the dancing rednecks, when all of the sudden, "IT" happened (not *that* "it" you pervs). I turned to reach for my drink, and he was turning to look at something in the opposite direction, and his leg touched my leg. Full leg contact. Through his jeans I could feel every muscle and tendon and when we sort of bumped into each other he put his hand on MY leg. His hand, right there on my knee. And he squeezed. Just a little bit. Hello Mr. Elephant!

But, the kiss didn't happen that night. We talked about what had just happened and sort of agreed, if implicitly, that we would revisit the subject another night, with less booze and less heady "oh my GOD we just brushed CALVES" romance in the air.

About a week later, this person and I found ourselves in a situation where we were in a room alone. He had asked me to make him a copy of a CD he liked, and so I was dutifully making the CD and asked "Hey, is there anything else you want on here?" He said "Oh, let me see" and leaned over where I was perusing my laptop song collection and all of the sudden all I could think about was his breath on my ear, and the warmth of his chest hitting my back in waves, and that smell! Like gin, limes, smoke, and something warm, his smell always reminded me of the feeling you get when you first drink some really great red wine. He reached over my shoulder to point to a song he wanted and all of the sudden he just sort of touched my chin, and lifted my head up, and laid one on me. And after the kiss, he sort of sighed and kissed my forehead and hugged me really hard and for just the quickest second my face was buried in his chest and I breathed in and tried to take a mental picture of the moment because it was so amazing. I remember being so impressed that he took a minute to be tender (god that sounds so stupid, but it's true, so oh well -- ed.) instead of moving in for the kill and trying to get me into bed right then and there. It made me feel...I don't know...valuable.

Anyhoo, if I hadn't been sitting down I would have fallen down. It was that good. By far, the best kiss I have ever had the pleasure of receiving, partially because of the huge build-up, and partially because of the delivery. Go Mr. Hottest Guy I Ever Laid My Lips On! Way to perform! So, there you go, the best kiss in my recent past.

I'm happy that Scott apparently thinks my life is exciting enough to be getting lots'o'kissin' on a regular basis, but, alas no. If I find a Cabana Boy who knows how to smooch, you people will be among the first to know!
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