Today I watched some of the most ridiculous women ever complain to Dr. Phil about how their hubbies don't give them enough lovin'. He gave them the usual tips...blah blah blah, dress up like a pirate and a french maid, blah blah blah, make time for each other, blah blah blah. My advice to these women is to quit being total shrews and shut their yaps or get a spine and tell their husbands what their expectations are and quit writing secret letters to Dr. Phil instead of addressing the problem at home, where it belongs. If they're half as annoying at home as they were on the show, I can see why their husbands just want to sit in front of the TV and rock the football coma.
So, the beautiful thing is this little chart that Dr. Phil has on his website to help us all understand the differences between men and women in bed. I especially like the lightbulb -- "Hey honey, I've got an idea!!! Let's consult our chart and see how long this might take so we can plan appropriately...I don't want to miss the first five minutes of Nip/Tuck."
The "OOPS" is pretty good too. "OOPS Sweetie, my 2.8 minutes are up...where's the remote?"