I just got home from turning in my Admiralty final. I feel sad that it sucks so hard AND it's not anonymous so he's going to know how dumb I am, and yet simultaneously excited to be able to channel all my panic more effectively into Fed Courts.
Because I am in such a cheerful and chipper mood today I decided to call my insurance people to determine why they hadn't paid my claim for my eye exam and glasses.
Insurance Lady: "Hello?"
Me: "Hi, I had a question about a bill I received for a recent visit to the eye doctor."
IL: "Uh huh?"
Me: "Well, before I went to the doctor I called your office was told that I had a $75 deductible for eye exams, and a $50 deductible for glasses, and that after the deductibles you would pay 100% of services and hardware."
IL: "No, that's not right."
Me: "Well, what is right?"
IL: "We pay a maximum amount of $75 for services and $50 for hardware. Those are your claim limits."
Me: "Well, how come I was told those were my deductibles?"
IL: "Ma'am, a claim limit is different from a deductible."
Me: YES! I KNOW! Why was I told the wrong thing?"
IL: "Ma'am, we are just claims processors, we read the script your insurance provides us."
Me: "OK, so what you just read me is the script?"
Me: "So, earlier, when I was told those were my deductibles and not my claims limits, she was either not reading the script, or was reading the wrong script? Is that right?"
IL: "Perhaps you just misunderstood her."
Me: "Well, considering I worked my way through college as the executive assistant to the CEO of an HMO, I kind of doubt it. I know the difference between a deductible and a limit. I bought glasses and got an exam based on her information that it was paid for to a certain degree. I spent MUCH MORE than I would have had I known it would not be reimbursed."
IL: "Well, Tanya is out of the office today. I'm sure she'd be happy to answer your questions when she gets back."
Me: "Well, there's not much I can do now, right? I already spent the money."
IL: "I'll put you through to Tanya's voicemail...BEEEEEEP"
I hate these people. I swear. They are second only to financial aid on my shitlist right now.
I'll be back later. I haven't had my Diet Coke yet and I think it's affecting my mood.