Also, in South Africa things are crazy apparently...one guy is shot in the penis, and another guy is stripped naked, forcefed cane liquor, and then painted red. In other news, I guess now we know where NDC went for spring break.
Lastly, some deep thoughts from Whorebag Spears-Federline:
Yes Britney, if he is guilty, and a pedophile (not that I think a guilty verdict, or lack of one, has much to do one way or the other with his status as a pedophile, which I feel is pretty concrete, at least in my mind), the cure is probably for him to get into a good bar fight, thus proving he is a child molester with frontier justice on his mind. If he's not guilty, nothing will help him be perceived as more manly than the above-mentioned bar fight. Nothing except maybe getting a nose, or talking in a normal voice, or not being a complete and utter freak of nature. But whatever. Details.
Britney Spears has offered Michael Jackson some strange advice to get his life back together - he should get drunk and start a fight in a bar. Toxic star Spears believes Jackson - currently in the midst of a trial - needs to adopt a more masculine persona and get embroiled in a punch-up to help toughen him up, regardless of whether he is guilty or not of the allegations.
She tells American magazine Allure, "If he did those things, I feel sorry for him. I feel
like he probably feels alone, and he needs some help."
"He needs someone to be like, 'ok, let's buck you up, let's give you a moustache, let's rough you up, let's go to a bar, let's get drunk and be a man.'
"And if he didn't do those things, I feel sorry for him. Either way, he needs to get in a fight."
UPDATE: Also, I'm sure that whatever sad, effed up moustache M.J. would grow would totally not scream "I'm a huge crazy child molester!" Uh huh.