Friday, March 18, 2005

Friday Spies

PS: This is the brainchild of the boys of BTQ.

1. Who is an author whose work you've never read, but want to?

Ummmm...I don't know. I am not much for "lit-urr-ay-tour" so I don't even really know the names of anyone who I probably ought to have read in order to have something to talk about at school when everyone is comparing how well-read and outside-the-mainstream they are. What I'm saying is that I am not selective about what I read in any sense of the word and that I pick things up usually at the grocery store or Target based on how shiny and colorful the cover is. I am the anti intellectual elite.

2. Can men and women be friends?

Of course! I have lots of good guy friends, although most of them now are married or are the boyfriends or husbands of my friends. In the Air Force I had a lot more single guy friends and I can't say that every single one of those friendships was free from sexual tension, but it was never an issue really. It either got resolved or it didn't...problem solved!

That being said, I do not generally stay friends with people I break up with. I'm all about the clean break. I have one person that I stay in very occasional touch with who I used to be pretty in love with, but we only talk perhaps twice a year. I talk to my second ex-husband every once in a while too, usually about the dog or some paperwork one of us needs or whatever. The only past "luh-verrrrs" I have stayed friends with are people who started out as friends first...and usually because it wouldn't end up being a relationship, it would be more of your traditional "friends with benefits" type of situation. If there is one thing I am able to do it is compartmentalize my life. Everyone stays where they belong unless I move them.

3. If you could choose to live in a different time period, would you? If so, when would you live and why?

I think I would live in the 1950's. I have no good answer for why...I like sweater sets and ponytails and boys in dark jeans and Elvis. I think in my mind it just seems like kind of a romantic and wholesome time -- but then again, I watch too much TV.

What I really wish is that it was better to live in THIS time! The era of "Entitled Victims" is tiring.

4. Have you ever sold anything, bought anything, or processed anything as a career? Have you ever sold anything bought or processed, or bought anything sold or processed, or repaired anything sold, bought, or processed, as a career?

Well Lloyd Dobler, I'll tell 'ya...this question is more than my poor little brain can handle. I did work at the mall in college...wait for Successories! I was a "motivational team member!" I had to deal with a lot of truly annoying people and help them pick out just the right set of Golf Course with Inspiring And Motivational Sayings pictures for their big fancy office, for which I got paid just above minimum wage. I would have been much better suited for

I also worked a Lerner's at the mall selling annoying clothing to annoying women. I credit that job with my lifelong aversion to raw silk. Also, that was the year women were wearing pants with suspenders, and if you are...uh...Dolly Parton-esque in your proportions, those are very unflattering. I looked terrible basically all the time.

I also worked at Things Remembered at the same mall for a few weeks. I got to make keys. It was fun. I made myself an engraved I.D. bracelet with my boyfriend's (later first ex-husband) name on it and wore it everywhere.

I sold ice cream at Baskin Robbins.

I worked as a buyer's assistant at the largest grocery distribution co-op in the southeast. My job was to order all the cigarettes every morning for all the stores. So I would call and read off this huge list every morning "100 Swisher Sweets, 200 Marlboro Full Flavor, 175 Merit Ultra Lights"...etc. It was a fun job and I got to know all the food company representatives. Most of them were slightly nervous older men (I was 20 at the time) and they would always bring me presents from their companies when they came calling on the food buyers. Every day I would go home with a CASE of hershey's products, or a CASE of Good Humor ice cream stuff.

I've worked at a lot of other places too that probably fit the criteria - but I think you get the picture.

5. They're going to make a movie about your life. What's the theme song?

Last night when this email went out I said I was calling "Why Don't We Get Drunk And Screw", but that's because I was drunk and didn't realize it was for a MOVIE! (yes, I sense the irony). Let's just say that's not what I want to be remembered for.

I think I would probably have to go with either "Please Don't Say Manana if You Don't Mean It" (actually called Manana, but that doesn't give you the full effect), or "One Particular Harbor." I have picked these songs at random because right now they are both in my head, and I think any movie about my life would have to have a Jimmy Buffett theme song. But, probably 100 of his songs would all be applicable in one way or another. I also love Tin Cup Chalice, They Don't Dance Like Carmen No More, I Will Work For Gumbo, or maybe even My Head Hurts, My Feet Stink, and I Don't Love Jesus. Oh yeah, and We Are The People Our Parents Warned Us About.

I could go on and on. But I won't. Because I got stuff to do.
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