Monday, August 16, 2004

What about today? Is today the worst day of your life?

Alright, I know I promised that I would get something law school related up here soon -- but I don't think it's going to be today. All I'm working on is trying to get my classes finalized and figuring out how to make my resume have subliminal messages (please email me if you know how to do that...I want it to scream "HIRE ME" into the subconscious of everyone who reads it).

But, in a fortuitous twist of fate, there is a newspaper article this morning in the Wall Street Journal Online about one of my favorite subjects to rant about, online dating. You've already heard me say all of this here before, but let me say it again. I don't think there is anything wrong with internet dating per se. As a matter of fact, I think that there is a lot of potential there for two people with the same interests to find each other and have a very nice relationship. However, I'm a true romantic at heart. I refuse to believe that as an almost 30-year old single woman my only choice for finding men outside of bars is to either write some really ridiculous ad extolling my hidden hidden that apparently the men I meet in person can't find and/or appreciate them, or alternatively, to read ads written by men who come across as trite, whiny, self-involved egomaniacs with fifth grade educations, and then try to decide which wonderful guy to pay $24.95 a month to respond to.

I've perused the ads on (admit it people, so have you...) and read many blogs by people who seem to enjoy the online dating thing, and in general I see a lot of men REALLY worried about whether women are being truthful about their weight and/or appearance (this must be a big problem...because the guys harp on it constantly and let's face it, if you're trolling for chicks online you totally have the leverage to demand that she look like a supermodel, right?), and a lot of women writing fanciful ads about how they've basically had their hearts trampled nine thousand times before and are now, once again, looking for Prince Charming (because for sure this time it will be different...uh-huh). PUH-LEAZE. However, in the interest of fairness -- I would love to hear stories about people who use (or have used) online dating services and had luck with them.

I'm not against meeting people online at all -- but I am against turning online dating into the exact same superficial nonsense that in-person dating has become. Where you are constantly afraid to say what you think in case the other person takes it the wrong way, and where you haul out your perfectly practiced stories for the staged amusement of your date. Dating for me is like torture -- it's where I try really hard to repress the outer limits of my personality in an attempt to convince someone that any craziness that slips through during the appointed date-time is a fluke..."No, really, I usually never have five beers and then tell dirty jokes (and I mean really filthy) and throw darts at the sign on the men's room door...seriously...I usually sit at home cross-stitching samplers of Bible verses...really, I mean it....quit laughing."

And, finally, I've been trying for WEEKS (since before I left D.C.) to write about something I read over at Tequila Mockingbird that I thought was just wonderfully eloquent and told exactly the story about how I usually feel about dating and finding someone, especially as I start to (horrors) get close to my 30's (ick). I wrote and rewrote and edited and erased a long post regarding her beautiful story and I just never quite got it right. So, I will leave out the commentary (mostly) and just direct you to her post, and to a couple of comments (Scheherazade and Anthony) , and say what I should have said all along..."Yeah, what she said."

Sorry for the rambling nature of all of this...but this is a subject that I've sort of wanted to comment on for awhile and just haven't known what I want to say -- and I still don't, hence the rambling. I guess in the end I think whatever makes people happy is cool, but I wish that what made people happy was more about being themselves and just accepting their goofiness and imperfections and letting those little offbeat traits help them find someone who truly complements them.
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