Wednesday, August 04, 2004

Just in case any of you were thinking, "Gee, I haven't heard a story of an ice-cream man shooting at customer's lately," or "Where can I go to see a good orangutan boxing match?"
I'm here to help with some news from around the world. Here ya go:

Thai Zoo Halts Orangutan Boxing Matches -- notice the matches are being halted not because people are forcing orangutans to box, but because the monkeys might have been illegally smuggled into the country. Priorities people, priorities.

Ice-cream man opens fire on customer -- God, don't you hate it when people just want to take, take, take...I mean, it's not like selling ice cream is about fun and happiness. Geez.

This monkey isn't taking any crap from a handsy toddler -- you know, I read the story, and I'm totally pulling for the monkey. Best line?
"I almost never go there. It was Sunday. I needed a quart of milk," he said.
"Usually, things get delivered to me. Next thing I know, my monkey is getting
ripped apart by some kid."

And, the best idea I've heard in ages...

British pubs give chocolate to drunkards to keep them from getting into fights...probably over who got more chocolates in his little bag-o-treats. But, whatever. If there was a bar I could go get wasted at that would give me a bag of chocolate on my way out the door...I'd sign my paycheck (were I to have one) right over to them. Good bless booze and snacks.

(simul-posted at L^3)
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