Dear You Know Who You Are (well, maybe not since you don't read this blog...that I know of),
You should be so ashamed of yourself. I'm serious. After the way you acted I can't believe that you have the balls to send me an email trying to get a piece of ass...especially when you couldn't get one back when I didn't think you were a total douchebag. I only wish we had some friends in common so I could forward your email to everyone we know. You suck, and, by the way, I am soooooo laughing AT you.
P.S. Remember how I told you that I didn't think the shots of Rumplemintz made you less of a man? I lied.