As I was saying in the comments to the post below this one, if I could only use one word to describe Brokeback Mountain, I think it would be "lonely."
I was very deeply affected by the movie. I don't know if it was because of the love story, which made me more sharply aware of my own lack of companionship and love, or if it was just the stark loneliness that these men endure right until the bitter end, which, frankly, caused me to dwell a bit on my own loneliness and lack of connection to many people on anything other than the most basic level.
The love story was tragic, and not just because it ended tragically. I really thought it was heartbreaking to watch these two men struggle to try to communicate with each other and with themselves and with the world. I wish that I was a better writer so I could find a way to articulate what I thought and why I found it so moving, but, and maybe this is the hangover talking, I'm struggling to find the right words.
I definitely recommend it, and I'm sure that the vast majority of you are infinitely more well-adjusted emotionally than me, and you probably won't want to sit in your car blubbering for an hour afterwards. I can't promise you won't cry at all though, because it is kind of sad.
It made me think about the last person I really, truly loved. I wish I had told him. I wish that he had loved me back (who knows, maybe he did, only very, very quietly).
I think I need to go back to bed. I'm melancholy and lonely.
