This guy is holding open auditions for a date to his school's Senior Prom. He admits he's "horrible with the ladies." Here's the supporting evidence in his own words:
"That's why he scrawled out a call for auditions on a flier that includes the tantalizing image of Jack in the Box's globe-headed mascot."
"As for his preferences, Bailey really doesn't have any, as long as his date has a playful spirit and can dance. Bailey is partial to breakdancing, himself."
"I'm actually kind of nervous. I don't really have any expectations."
"As for the date, Bailey doesn't have many expectations either. "I like cheap," he said."
The method for this madness is an interview style question and answer session with "judges" grilling the girls about their choices in bread (I swear it said that in the story), and then a "winner" will be picked.
The moral of this story is that this total dork is going to have a date to his Prom (hopefully she'll be cheap and like to breakdance, but if not, that's OK because he has no expectations anyway)...and I am going to Law Prom tomorrow night with no date. I guess I should have held the auditions earlier.
"Sir, tell us why you'd like to take Energy Spatula to the Law Prom?"
"Uh...I like to breakdance"
"What can you offer Energy Spatula as a date in terms of ensuring her good time?"
"Well...unlike her last 50 dates I won't take her to Chili's, instead, we will go to Bennigan's"
"What will you bring Energy Spatula to show her that you're interested in her"
"Oh wait, I'm supposed to pretend to be interested...her other dates never had to pretend to be interested..."
"Sir, what refreshing carbonated beverage would you serve to Energy Spatula after a hot, sweaty night of breakdancing?"
"Screw this...this girl sounds like a maniac...I'm going home to watch 'What Not to Wear'"