A senior softball league found a LIT pipe bomb in their outfield, picked it up, and carried it to home plate...then miraculously called the police before they all blew themselves to smithereens. I can totally see it..
Bob: "Hey Harold, what is this thing? Looks like a piece of pipe...only with a weird ropey thing coming out the end attached to a lit cigarette..."
Harold: "Well Bob, bring it on over here to home plate and we'll just have a look...I was in the Army for three years back in World War One...discharged though...bad knees."
Bob: "Harold, you were stationed in New Jersey. Mildred...go find Harold's glasses, we're gonna get to the bottom of this...these stupid kids around here, always leaving their lit pipe bombs for other people to take care of. It's that damn heavy metal music. And the internet."
As an aside...the article states: "This is the second pipe bomb found in the area, the first was found a few months ago. Detectives are not ruling out a connection." Gee. You think?