My mom and I were walking around Fred Meyer's today (like Kohl's for you East Coast types) and she yells across about five aisles "Hey don't let me forget to go by Safeway...I need a bag of coke!" Um...please tell me you meant BOX of Coke? The best part was that it took her a full minute to figure out why I was laughing and then she turns bright red and says to everyone in the aisle "Well, I didn't mean cocaine..." Oh good, that clears it right up for the eight people standing here who have no idea what you're talking about because the people that heard you are long gone. Geez.
Also, the small town my parents live in is having their annual small town festival thing this weekend for Memorial Day and the headlining event is advertised on a huge banner as you drive into town..."FULLY AUTOMATIC MACHINE GUN FUN SHOOT." Nothing says "Welcome to our beautiful country oasis" like the fact that apparently there are enough residents here with fully automatic machine guns for it to be the theme of the annual town get-together.