Friday, May 14, 2004

Law School Reality...Only BETTER

Oh my god, a law school reality show…that would be SOOOO awesome (link via JD2B). Here are my three best (by which I mean “only” as well as “probably not all that funny”) ideas for a law school reality show.

Law School Survivor

There would be two teams….The Gunners versus The Solitaire Players. Every week someone would be voted off by their “small group” and during the course of the “semester” there would be immunity challenges like:

- High Score in Bejeweled
- Finding and displaying the most IM emoticons in under 3 minutes
- Identifying the page numbers of as many obscure notes cases from memory as
possible…first team to get 10 wins
- Naming all the significant Law Review related deadlines for the next three years, bonus points for being able to name every rule on a randomly selected Bluebook page from memory

At the end the two "small groups" would be merged and would be culled down in a somewhat undecipherable process that adheres to a strict curve which no one can figure out, not even the person who made it up over 600 years ago.

Law School Bachelor: What Torts?

This would start out with a Professor handing out roses to all of the students in the 1L reality show “class”…the catch is that one person is a secret spy who is deathly allergic to roses and subsequently has an allergy attack. This causes her to flail her arms wildly, hitting 13 people and causing severe injuries to one person who has a rare disease that causes his bones to break spontaneously when he is under severe emotional stress. When he collapses he accidentally drops a Diet Coke that was in his hand on someone else’s carefully prepared class notes which fly out the window blocking a driver’s window and causing a fourteen car pileup outside the law school. The accident destroys no less than twelve cars, nine domesticated animals, thirty nine million pieces of personal property and a 200 year-old historically significant tree. Whoever can guess the most Torts wins.

Fear Factor: Uptight Law Student Edition

The Fear Factor format somehow seems the most appropriate. Teams could be forced to do horrible stunts to test their ability to deal with stress and see how far they’ll go to succeed…all valuable skills for any post-law-school career. Some good stunts would be:

One student from each team would be locked in a room with the most obnoxious gunner in their 1L class and forced to listen stories all day of how “the exact thing as in this case happened to my Uncle Lou when he was in the hospital getting his hemorrhoid surgery.” The person who has the least severe mental breakdown scores a win for his/her team.

Each team would have to face down the law student’s greatest fear…nonconformity. First one person on each team would be told that Law Review write-on is in 1 week and that the only way they are ever going to get a job is to complete the assignment. Then all the other people on the team would have to try to resist joining in for as long as possible. The team with the person that holds out the longest wins a lifetime supply of Bluebooks and red pens.

For an extra bonus round each team could try to guess the grade point average of the each of the people on the other team using only gossip, stereotypes, and a Ouija board.

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