Thursday, March 09, 2006

Mmmmm...self-destructive behavior is the bomb!

So, I am really not too upset about the whole rejection thing. As I told my friend last night (the one who got the job), I would have had to take some time to think about it because I wasn't absolutely sure, and he didn't need to do that because he was they probably made the right decision for everyone involved. I *AM* a bit pissed at the firm for the following couple of reasons:

1. They know that we know each other and are talking often about the status of this situation.
2. They know that *I* told *HIM* about the job, thus making it even more awkward for him to get it over me.
3. They know that I will find out from him that he got it pretty much as soon as it happens.
4. They make no effort whatsoever to give me a call or an email or anything, I guess I'll just get a rejection letter in the mail whenever they get around to it, which, judging by the fact that it took them three months to make this decision, could be in May sometime.

So, I think that if it was MY very small law firm and I knew what they know about the candidates I was interviewing, I would have handled it differently. But hey. I am really, genuinely happy for my friend who got it, I only wish they hadn't strung us along for quite so long. Also, he has to buy me drinks, so all is well that ends well, right?

Back to the job-hunting coal mines I guess.

In other news, last night my internet at home was down for some reason. It kept telling me I had a great connection but wouldn't let me online, so I have no idea what the hell that means. I made the most of my time by indulging in a whole string of self-destructive behavior that I won't describe in any great detail but which starts with a bottle of wine and which ends with me having to wash two cereal bowls this morning, if you know what I mean. Eh. Oh well, what's a girl to do? Sometimes you just have to indulge in a little bit of idiocy and get it out of your system I guess.

I feel so much pressure right now to do all of these different things, and be all of these different things...and it's hard. I feel like I'm not making the right decisions a vast majority of the time, but I am trying to remember that first of all, I'm not making any decisions that can't be undone or fixed or worked around pretty easily, and secondly, it's OK to make mistakes sometimes and it's also OK to go along and give a situation enough time to tell if it's a mistake or not. The key is figuring out where the course reversals need to take place and actually doing it. It's a philosophy that seems to apply equally well to school, job-hunting, and, I'm going to go with it for now at least.

So, back to studying...awesome.
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