Dear Energy Spatula,
Blah blah blah blah blah blah we don't care where you go but you can't work here. Blah blah blah blah we noticed how much candy you stole on your way out. Blah blah blah blah although you probably don't suck it didn't come through in the interview so we offered the job to someone else. Blah blah go to hell and quit calling us. Blah blah blah best of luck in your job search, you seem like you're going to need it.
The Place That Doesn't Particularly Want To Hire You