I'm a stress zombie.

I didn't sleep well last night...I just kind of wasn't feeling well, and then I started having all these weird dreams that kept me up. And it was one of those nights where the temperature was never right, my stomach kind of hurt, I tossed and turned, the covers weren't right, I was thinking about all the things that I have to do, and all the things I'm not getting done. God, I hate that.

So, today I'm tired. I have yet to finish all the stuff I need to get done for tomorrow, let alone have a chance to practice it, and I'm so tired that I feel like I can't even assimilate all the information in a way that will allow me to not make any huge mistakes, or ask a bunch of questions that clearly violate the motions we argued and she ruled on last week.

I've noticed that when I'm not sleeping well, or I don't get enough sleep, it just makes everything BIGGER and BADDER. All my little problems seem HUGE, my anxiety levels seem out of control, I'm obsessing about shit that just yesterday I had under control, I'm not managing my stress, it's managing me. I've never been the type of person to do well with not enough sleep, but as I get older, I notice it's SO MUCH WORSE. One or two nights and I'm like a zombie. A depressed zombie. Geez.

I have to go figure out a way to do about 9 million hours of work in the next 45 minutes...so I better get on that. Let's all cross out fingers that I am able to sleep tonight or it's going to be bad...very very bad.

And the rum is for all your good vices.

I have tried fourteen different times to start a post today, and nothing is really coming out exactly the way I want it to. I hope that's not an omen about mock trial on Wednesday night! My partner and I have divided up all the tasks, and I am frantically trying to get stuff done today so that I have a couple of days to practice and try to make sure I understand at least a little bit about what's going on...but who knows if I'm going to fully get it together before then.

I am thinking a lot right now about:

Priorities
Relationships
What it means to accept myself
Stress management
What I can do to feed my own needs instead of looking to others all the time
Developing stronger friendships/being a better friend/being more responsive to other people's needs
Baking more cupcakes for exams
Whether I really want to move away from this place where I've finally begun to establish a social network
Boundaries

I am trying not to think about:

Job hunting
Exams/grades/why don't employers like me
The accrual method of accounting
Where the hell my W-2 is
Things I don't have the mental or physical strength and endurance to fix right now
The six pounds I've gained
The bar exam
Hearsay and why I don't understand it
All the things I should be doing but am not

Every day is an exercise is figuring out what the hell I'm trying to do in my life...guess it's that way for everyone. All you can do is try to keep your eye on the important stuff and don't forget to stop and smell the beer once in awhile, right?

You know, like octopus? Testicles?

WAH! My life is stressful! Poor me! Boo hoo!

OK, I'm done.

I had a fantastic dinner with a friend tonight and we've made a pact to get together more often and have dinner, and hopefully from now on we'll both be less stressed and we'll talk about normal stuff and not be so angsty. OK, *I* will be more normal and less angsty. Sheesh, cut a girl a break, will ya?!

I can't wait until my fantastic St. Patrick's Day fantasy drinking-fest becomes a reality. It's the only thing keeping me going. I wanted to go see M. for Spring Break, but since my summer job has yet to find my W-2 (thanks guys!), I have no money. Ex-Roomie and I are considering a weekend roadtrip somewhere though, so maybe that'll work out. Gotta have plans, people. Plans are key.

Weekly Law School Roundup #9

This is the "Friends are Fantastic" edition of the Weekly Law School Roundup where AmbImb and Elle Woods provide all the links because they are awesome and know how much stress I'm under with exams and this stupid mock trial in three days...and the MPRE (which I know I shouldn't worry about, but it's just ONE MORE THING on my plate, so in that sense, it's hard not to worry a little bit). Anyway, extra-special super-big heaping helpings of thank you's go out to both of them...without them there would be no Roundup this week.

Equal Process? Due Protection? as a theory as to why the 3rd year of law school won't be cut out anytime soon-he might just be onto something.

Careful ladies, he might give you textualism. (Law and Alcoholism)

NDC rants about the social ineptness of law student, Elle Woods sees him and raises.

TheNambyPamby points out the evils of the LSAT and law school, then retracts a mere day later.

Tre! at You Can't Get Arrested for Being Awesome shows us what men really want out of a pre-nup.

Moral Turpitude is back (has been back) with a new HILARIOUS blog shedding light on everything from opening your own firm to just how far law students will go to avoid reading.

Elle Woods makes her courtroom debut.

M at Yet Another Law Blog is sexing law classes, this weeks subject, Professional Responsibility

Previous subjects:
Torts
Civ Pro

Type-B Discrimination from Jeremy Richey
"Type-B discrimination runs rampant in America’s law schools...."

GW 2L "Law-Rah" is going to be a Mardi Gras Queen, complete w/huge
colorful crown.

Monica has written her last law school paper! She just has one more
quarter working an externship in Florida and then she's done.

Badglacier complains that Westlaw is ugly as sin to look at and
difficult to use.

Screaming Bean took the bar exam for the second time and to no one's
surprise it still wasn't any fun.

Weekly Law School Roundup #10 can be found next week at Evan Schaeffer's Legal Underground.

What a day.

Well, I spent the morning getting the eyebrows done (why YES, they DO look FANTASTIC!), and the afternoon helping a friend move, and the evening help another friend who just moved hang all her new curtains. I feel very useful! My friends are always shocked when they find out I have a sewing machine, and can hem things, and I own an electric drill and can do handy stuff.

Tomorrow I am meeting with my Trial Ad partner for the FIRST TIME to discuss the mock bench trial we are supposed to do on Wednesday evening. Oh yeah. It's going to be bad. So, so bad. And, in case anyone forgot, the MPRE is two weeks from today, and my exams are that next week. So basically, my life is shit until St. Patrick's Day goodness smiles upon me. I am glad that the stupid Olympics are over. I know everyone loves them, but as far as I'm concerned they just mess up my TV watching schedule.

Right now, on a very exciting Saturday night at my house, I am eating ice cream for dinner and doing my laundry. I was going to have beer for dinner (I have a HUGE Chimay in the fridge), but honestly, and I hate to admit this, I'm almost beer'd out after several days of boozing in a row. I know, I'm seriously ashamed, but I just can't take anymore beer right now.

I know that I have the Roundup to do in the morning, and I am going to attempt to be timely, but I have, literally, three different meetings, witness prep, mock trial prep, tax homework, and about eleventy-kabillion other things to do, so if it doesn't show up until 8pm, well, that's just too bad. You'll forgive me, I know.

I always find the fish! Always!

So, last night at our impromptu beer bash, Ex-Roomie and I cooked up a St. Patrick's Day plan to rival all St. Patrick's Day plans. Well, that's not true. BUT, we did come up with something.

See, for those of you on semesters, you're looking forward to Spring Break and your life is fairly uncomplicated in that respect. For those of us on the quarter system, we have a week of exams coming up. And, at my school at least, those exams have had St. Patrick's Day stuck right in the middle of them for the past two years. This year though, it's on Friday. The Friday before Spring Break. The last Friday of exam week. It's the perfect storm...the end of exam week, the beginning of Spring Break, and St. Patrick's Day. This is the day I've been waiting on for three years.

We are screening local Irish bars trying to figure out which one will be the best to suit our needs. There will be ALL DAY drinking. There will be low-cut shirts (for me), and shamrocks painted on faces (her), and LOTS and LOTS of booze. There will be dirty limericks, green beer, people passing out on the street, and me going on and on about how much I love an Irish accent.

I am very excited.

Beery McBeerstein

I went to one of my favorite bars tonight. I had two beers there. The beers are THIRTY-FOUR OUNCES. Oh yeah. I heart GINORMOUS BEERS.

Tomorrow I have a big day planned...eyebrow waxing in the morning and helping a friend move in the afternoon. And, I would be willing to bet, more beer. It's a mystery to me when the trial I have on Wednesday is going to get prepared for. Let's hope it's going to prepare itself in between my beering it up around town and ignoring my academic obligations. THIRTY-FOUR OUNCE BEERS PEOPLE. Hell yeah.

Seriously though.

**This is a little something I wrote awhile back (OK, like two days ago) to remind myself not to call. I'm posting it because I already look at it like 30 times a day, so I might as well. I just got back from the gym. So there you go.**

Do. Not. Call.

Stop it.

Quit staring at the phone. Quit letting the anxiety build up while you wonder and wait to see if he'll call you. Quit thinking about it. You don't want him to call you anyway because you already know the answer to this entire question. It's NO. Emphatically, absolutely, assuredly, definitely, unmistakably, resoundingly, NO. No because it's not good for you. No because he can't be what you need him to be. No because you have too much going for you to let it slip at this point. No because he is the dam in a cartoon and you are the hero who plugs the breaking dam with her fingers and if you do this for him you'll never be able to let go because he has too many issues, too many problems, too many broken parts. No because anyone who takes him on will have to stand in that same spot forever, fingers in the dam, holding back the water and praying that it doesn't all fall apart.

My God...just let it go. If he does call it just opens up the wound for YET ANOTHER day, week, whatever (and let's face it, your friends are sick of seeing you mope over a guy that none of them thought was good enough for you). If he doesn't call, he's doing you the biggest favor of your life.

If he doesn't call it doesn't mean that you'll never meet anyone again. It doesn't mean that the time you invested was wasted. It doesn't mean you're already forgotten, or cast aside, or weren't important. Most importantly, it doesn't mean YOU are wrong, YOU are unworthy, YOU are unlovable, or YOU are broken. If he does call, if you're smart, you'll ignore the call, delete the voicemail, and go over to one of your friend's houses to watch TV or drink a beer and not obsess over this thing anymore.

In fact, whether he calls or not is not really the issue, is it? Someone else WILL call. Someone else WILL care. Someone else WILL want to sit on the couch and watch TV with you, or make you dinner, or hold your hand under the table at the bar while you drink pints and make fun of the locals. And it will be someone who will be capable of doing more than the bare minimum. This guy isn't worth all this angst. Stop angsting. Just stop. NO!

DO. NOT. CALL.

Go to the gym. Now.

I bet you look pretty good from a few thousand miles away.*

We went to GK's hockey game last night. The bar they go to afterwards is the diviest dive bar in the entire world...it's awesome. So, the Ex-Roomie and I got there before the hockey guys because they had to (thankfully) shower and whatnot, and we were the only two women in the bar (and not just last night either...probably in WEEKS), so immediately the three regulars in there started talking to us. One guy had no teeth and was insane. One guy spent the entire night going back and forth outside to talk on his cell phone, who knows what that was about. And one guy proudly told us he likes to sing and that he was such a regular at this bar that his divorce papers were served on him there. Also, he told us proudly, his grandfather's divorce papers were served on him in that bar as well.

Anyway, the hockey guys showed up eventually and we had alot of fun. We drank a million pitchers of Labatt Blue, the official drink of hockey night. The great thing about Labatt's is that you can drink it all night, never get drunk, and not even feel remotely hungover the next day. As Ex-Roomie says, "YAY! Near-beer!"

I also ran into an old friend at the bar as well. We talked and awkwardly said "hi." He made a joke about driving me home and I was like "Well, yeah, nothing makes a girl feel more special than when you're only interested in her as a one-night stand to cheat on your girlfriend." More awkwardness. He gave me some sob story about how he was sure at the time he did it that he probably wanted to break up with that girl, that it was hard because there were kids involved (her kids), and blah blah blah...now they're broken up, etc., etc. I was probably more snarky than I needed to be, but eventually I just went back to my table, drank another 87 glasses of beer, and ignored him. Towards the end of the night he came over and sat at our table and was trying to make eye-contact and stuff, and we all started to get our stuff together to leave. He made a comment about seeing me again at another game, and I was like "Well, next week is GK's last game, so if I don't make it to that, this is it." "Oh, you're not going to come back?" "Well, no. I mean, why would I come back if my friend isn't playing?" "Oh, well...uh..." At this point, my friend and her boyfriend are almost out the door, so while he's struggling I just go "Yeah, I gotta go, bye."

The whole thing really didn't have a mean tone to it in real life like it kind of does when I write it, but in my HEAD, I was being so mean to him. Like, I have all this pent-up aggression right now, and even though it's not fair to just let it out on someone I barely know, this guy kind of retroactively deserved it, plus I only said the REALLY vile things in my head. I was moderately polite and used as few biting, sarcastic one-liners as it's possible for me to use given that that's a huge part of my communication pattern with men who piss me off.

I actually have some "real" stuff I'm considering writing about, but not sure yet if it'll make the blog. I'm still struggling with what I want to put on here, I felt more comfortable writing the sort of very intensely personal posts when less people read this and when less people I know in real life read this. My good friends that read it are OK because they know all my thoughts and secrets anyway, and they usually avoid the personal posts and stick with the funny ones. And the total strangers are OK. It's the people who I see in the hall who I KNOW have read at least a couple times who might read some hugely personal post that kind of freak me out. And obviously that's my responsibility to only put things on here that I'm comfortable with, knowing what the different segments of my "audience" are (if you will). So, I'm thinkin' on it.

*From one of the worst movies ever made, The Cutting Edge. But it did have hockey. Well, a hockey player. And my mom loves it, God bless her.

Mmmm....boys on ice.

Tonight I'm going to Guacamole Kid's hockey game. The Over-35 Hockey League is a thing of beauty. I am generally the only girl that shows up to the post-game beer drinking at the local dive bar (tonight I'm bringing Ex-Roomie), and the guys are mostly over 40 and married and they buy the beer but don't hit on me too much, sometimes one of the single ones will try to put the moves on me in a pretty non-forward way which makes me feel better and is good for my self-esteem. It'll be fun. Boys on ice! With skates! Skating! On ice!

You're not dying, you just can't think of anything good to do.

So, today I go back to the gym. The gym is good for my mental health. The gym is good for the five or six pounds I've gained during "Breakup '06." The gym is good for the cupcakes, frozen pizzas, ice cream, and cheeseburgers I've been eating with abandon in a desperate attempt to fill the void in my life. I KNOW that I have to fill the void with something besides cheeseburgers...I mean, shit, that's what the past two years have been about! I've lost probably about 35 pounds since 2L year and this setback in my lovelife is no reason to go right back to square one. Right? RIGHT! Go team! Put the spoon down and back away from the Ben and Jerry's. Slowly. Good girl!

OK, so, having tackled that issue, at least temporarily, I think I might take today off of Tax, and tomorrow off school entirely, get my apartment cleaned and organized, figure out what I need to start doing for finals, and get my trial notebook done for the bench trial we have to do next Wednesday. Organization is good. Gym time is good. Filling the void...that's the key.

Now, if only I can actually do any, or all, of this stuff and feel like something other than a huge bag of ass for more than one day in a row.

Also, I am supposed to do the Weekly Roundup on Sunday, so send in your suggestions and links in the next couple days...I always appreciate the help, but even more so right now.

Your Honor, as it turns out, I am a moron. I apologize. Deeply.

Tonight we had oral arguments on the motions we turned in on Friday.

Mine went something like this:

Me: "Plaintiff would like to exclude all written records and communications pertaining to blah blah blah because of such and such a statute that says blah blah blah."

Instructor/Judge: "How would you address the issue of waiver?"

Me: Blank look. Sucking air and panicking like fish out of water. Look at hands. Look at notes. Pray for miracle. Pray to die. Check under table for hole to dive into.

I/J: "Well?"

Me: "Your Honor. Um. Well. At this time Plaintiff asserts that there has been no waiver."

I/J: "Your client talked about this issue openly in her deposition."

Me: "Yes"

I/J: "And was her lawyer present?"

Me: "Yes"

I/J: "And she wasn't informed that she was waiving a privilege?"

Me: "Um. Well."

I/J: "Counsel, are you done?"

Me: "Yes"

I/J: "You can sit down."

Me: **Insert death from total and utter humiliation**

I honestly just DID NOT think of that issue. It never occurred to me, my partner was relying on me to have all the issues on my side prepared and I SUCKED.

Oh well, guess these things happen.

I'm having artichoke jalapeno dip with pita chips for dinner, then cupcakes, and then possibly cheese on top of beer on top of fried things with a side of ice cream. God. Tomorrow needs to be a better day.

Oh yeah, I ALSO told Guacamole Kid the results of the US Olympic Hockey match BEFORE he knew or watched it because I didn't know that he didn't want to know...I SUCK!

Tomorrow will be better. It just has to be.

Meet my new friend.

I saw this at both Legally Blonde and Blonde Justice, so I decided that, since I was whining about not having a pet, perhaps I could start with a virtual pet. When I get tired of having this up here I'll move it to the side-bar somewhere.

adopt your own virtual pet!

This is depressing. Fair warning.

I want to blog, but honestly, I have nothing positive to say at all. I'm sort of in a funk these days, what with the breakup, the lack of job prospects, stress over the future, exams coming up (oh but never fear, there is still ANOTHER set of exams in the spring), and everything else that's going on. I don't really know why I'm letting all this shit get to me, but I swear, it's awful.

I need to go to the gym, get back to eating healthy and taking care of myself, get back on some sort of reasonable sleep schedule, and start being on top of stuff again. It is very unlike me to let things slide, but I've just been feeling really, well, creepy...for lack of a better word.

It's extremely hard (for me at least), to not know where I'll be living after the bar exam, to not feel like I can get close to people because I'll probably have to move away (I've moved about 20 times already, I'd really like to make some permanent friends!), and to really WANT to have someone in my life romantically, but to not feel like I can even go out and try to meet people because why bother when I'll probably just be moving in a couple months...there's no point in even going there. I'm 31 years old, I'm funny and nice and want more than anything to be in a *healthy* relationship with someone who appreciates me and what I could bring to thier life, but I'm starting to think I'm going to be alone forever. Well, maybe I'll have cats. But, of course, I can't get a damn cat because I might have to move.

See how my life is not conducive to making me feel happy? I feel very lonely. My friends have been great, are being great, but I know that when I sit on the couch on Saturday night alone, and I think to myself "He's sitting on his couch alone too!" it will be SO HARD not to call and say "Hey, we're both sitting around alone, let's sit around together." And if I do that then what I'll be back in is a relationship that is going nowhere, with a guy that isn't right for me, because I couldn't resist the lure of temporary comfort and having a warm body around. I never, ever dreamed it would be this hard for me to resist that, even knowing all I do about this person and our lack of long-term compatibility...I'm shocked. I must have been so lonely for so long, and I had just stopped feeling it, and then someone came along and at least partially filled up that space I had, and now the empty space is all I can think about. It's horrible.

I really want to feel better. Soon.

Semi-drunk posting

Well, two pitchers of beer, four hours of crying, and here's what I got out of it.

Guacamole Kid: "See, the thing is E. Spat, you've been in the desert for so long that you're willing to drink any water you can find."

Me: "Holy shit. At this point I think we should all admit I'm pretty much drinking my own pee. WHAT? It's sterile and it tastes good!"

GK: "Heh. God, I love Dodgeball."

Me: "Me too, but not sure it should be providing the theme for my lovelife."

UPDATE: Nobody makes me bleed my own blood. NOBODY!

Oh sh*t!

Let me just tell you that NOTHING, and I mean NOTHING, strikes fear into my heart faster than the following phone call:

Mom: "Hi, I just wanted to ask you a quick question"

Me: "Uh-huh"

Mom: "Well, after you left yesterday I noticed you had left a lot of stuff on the computer and I just wanted to know if I should save it or get rid of it or ???"

Me: "STUFF?! WHAT STUFF??!! I mean, exactly what stuff?"

Mom: "Oh, I don't know, just some things you were working on I guess. Like written stuff. Wait, I'll go back and read it to you."

Me: "NO. No. No, that's OK. Just delete it, whatever it is I don't need it. No worries."

Mom: "Oh, OK. Well, I just wanted to make sure."

Me: "Yeah, I'm sure I don't need it. Just delete whatever it is."

Crap. I think it was just school work, but I am SO CAREFUL to delete all blog things while I'm home, I even use Mozilla to browse since they don't even know what it is and I can just delete all the data every time I use it, which might make them suspicious on Explorer. Damn though, that's a close call. Let's just say that this blog would NOT go over well with the folks. Nope. Not one bit.

In other, slightly less dramatic news, I am WAY behind in Tax, as always, and my apartment looks like fifteen nuclear warheads were detonated in it. My parent's washing machine was broken while I was there so ALL the dirty clothes I took with me came back with me and now I get to look forward to spending all night tonight doing that. Woohoo!

I talked to the recently ex-d ex last night and I think it was good. It was difficult to tell him that no matter how much he begs, admits he was wrong, or promises it will be better this time that I just can't get back together with him because it's not right for either one of us. In the end we had a good talk and agreed that everything was cool the way it is. I'm feeling very positive about the outcome for now.

My name is John Johnson but everyone here calls me Vicki.

Tomorrow morning I leave to go back to the TVPNM, back to law school, back to trying to find a job...in other words, back to the grind. It's been awesome being home. Money, gifts, food, walking the dog, sympathy, empathy, family time...seriously, my parents are so freaking cool.

I've spent ALOT of time processing the breakup and I think that, although I still have a few lingering doubts, I'm pretty much happy with how everything has turned out, and I'm accepting the stuff I can't change, to borrow a phrase. I don't know why I would have any doubts at all, since, as several people have pointed out, this is not a person or a relationship that I need to really spend a lot of time mourning. But I feel very deeply for people who I choose to let into my life, and sometimes you get people in your life and when they leave, for whatever reason, you wonder if you fulfilled the entire purpose of why they were brought to you. Like, I wonder sometimes if the Universe places certain things in your path to teach a specific lesson, and when my heart really has a hard time (a harder time than seems warranted) understanding something or some situation, I try really hard to make sure I'm getting the lesson. I think in this case there were a couple of pretty big lessons that I needed to learn, even if from what was only a short relationship. So, overall, I'm not glad that it seemed to hurt sometimes inordinately badly, but I think I'm starting to get some things I needed to get. Go me!

Anyway. Tomorrow morning I head back. Back to Tax homework, arguing a motion in Trial Ad on Wednesday night and preparing for our bench trial in two weeks, getting ready for the MPRE (am I registered for Bar/Bri review or not? why can't they make my life easier instead of harder?), and GASP, getting ready for finals. Again. Sigh. I signed up for classes for my LAST QUARTER OF LAW SCHOOL today.

Trial Ad (next quarter will focus on a mock criminal trial with all the bells and whistles)
Animal Law
Business Organizations
International Humanitarian Law (taught outside the law school as an international studies course by a retired Colonel. if I don't get an A++ you should all run and hide, because obviously the world is coming to an end.)

I can't believe it's nearly over. Wow.

I am also STILL waiting to hear on the job I THIRD INTERVIEWED for two weeks ago. The job that originally promised to let me know by the END OF DECEMBER. The job where my good friend is the only other person in the running. We're both on the edge of our seats, and the waiting is making us crazy. We have an agreement that whoever gets the job has to take the other one out drunking, so I'd like to find out if for no other reason than to go on a nice satisfying bender. After the couple of weeks I've had...I think I deserve it.

Like a v-ir-ir-irgin

Last night I drank beer in front of my parents for the very first time. I'm 31 years old and they have never seen me drink. We went to pizza with my uncle and Grandpa Spatula, and my uncle bought a pitcher and I had an ENTIRE glass of beer, RIGHT IN FRONT of my mom and dad.

This is a big moment for me. My parents do not drink. At all. Ever. I don't know that they're morally opposed since I know for a fact my dad used to get wasted when he was a young Air Force officer (and have pic's to prove it), but since they had me they just never drank anymore...didn't want to be a bad influence I guess. Plus, my dad is far too huge of a health nut to go there...all those dirty calories...he'd have to ride an extra 10 miles a day on his bike.

Anyway, I don't think I'm going to start telling them tales of my wild carousing or anything (such as it is, which is to say, there's not much to tell), but I feel like I took a giant leap into adulthood.

Home again, home again.

Well, I made it in one piece. Through the mountains. In a snowstorm. Awesome! OK, it only left like a half inch of snow, but whatever. When I got up this morning the ground was covered in snow and it was beautiful...I heart snow.

My dad is EXTREMELY happy about the cupcakes I brought...he's hoarding them like water after the apocalypse. My parents gave me an INSANE amount of money for Valentine's Day...I mean, like, crazy money considering I usually get a $10 bill in a card. So, I'm going shopping this afternoon. New earrings are just the thing to make a girl feel better!

They just got a brand new computer system, so blogging is going to be MUCH more difficult while I'm here, because my dad hovers even more than usual, and I had to download Firefox in order to have a separate browser so I don't have to delete their entire Explorer cache every time I go online and hit a blog, or Blogger. Plus, I think we're going out of town for at least one day, so I think I'll be out of the loop for awhile.

Anyway, I hope everyone has a fantastic long weekend (if you're getting one), and I will be back whenever the opportunity arises.

Thinkin' like a lawyer

I still have no idea what it means when people say law school is supposed to teach me to "think like a lawyer." Every lawyer I have met thinks differently, and I certainly think pretty much the same way now as when I got here. My personal opinion is that perhaps you can only be brainwashed effectively once in your life, and I used up mine in the Air Force.

At any rate, I have been working on this stupid motion in limine for my PASS/FAIL Trial Advocacy class...and here's where I start thinking like myself, lawyer or not.

It's a Pass/Fail class.

I've already put in over ONE ENTIRE HOUR.

I can't find a good case and I don't understand the Evidence rules and it doesn't seem like I'm going to learn them by tomorrow.

I can easily write a policy argument that is persuasive.

The issue is one we are 99% likely to lose on anyway.

It's a Pass/Fail class.

It's a class.

The client isn't real.

Ten minutes of my time + One policy argument = I'm 2/3 of the way done with my motion.

Thinking like a lawyer baby...that's where it's at.

Baby it's cold outside.

Holy crap it's COLD outside! We are having "arctic air" moving down from Canada, which is apparently sent here directly for the purpose of turning us all into human Otter Pops. I have had my heater on all night, probably only for the second or third time all winter, and it's STILL cold in my apartment!

My friend came over tonight and we watched Lost and ate cupcakes...it was fun. My stove has decided to go on the blink though, and that could curtail future cupcake batches. About every five or so minutes, it just shuts off, leaving whatever is cooking (frozen pizza) sitting there, getting colder while the oven loses heat. It's awesome when it takes an hour to cook your frozen pizza, and by the time it's done it's all soggy and sad.

Opening statement went well tonight. I think I did OK, especially given the fact that I was kind of nervous about my level of preparation, and now all I have to do is somehow figure out the motion in limine tomorrow morning and get that turned in on Friday from my parent's house.

I leave for home tomorrow after class, and expect to get home pretty late tomorrow night. Likely no posting until Friday at least, but I will sleep easier knowing you'll all miss me terribly. Console yourselves by looking at pictures of the pretty cupcakes.

Just so there is no doubt, I am doing great. The breakup is what it is, but I'm good and feeling strong and healthy. Taking the posts down does not reflect anything about the situation, except as it relates to me personally and what I feel comfortable sharing on the internet when my situation is really not that anonymous considering how many people I know in real life who read this, and how many people read this who know me/feel like they know me via my blog "persona." I'm just taking care of myself...it's what a girl has to do.

Revisionist History

I put two of my recent breakup posts into draft form while I consider how much I really want to put out on the internets. I have some concerns here, but for now I'll leave up the original "I got dumped" post, although that might bite the dust soon too. They could all come back in a day, or they might not ever.

I can't explain why I took them down, just an uncomfortable feeling about the level of detail and the record I was creating which I'm not sure I want to really go back and relive. I know some people consider this type of thing to be, like, the worst possible blog sin. But I maintain now, and always have, that it's my blog and I'll do whatever I want.

In other news, I have a pretty decent start on my opening statement, and an ENTIRE two hours to get it done before I have to go downtown. I have plans with a friend afterwards, and I think there will be cupcakes and TV watching...YAY!!

It's 6am, I must be sick with a head cold.

You might be asking yourself, "Hey, E. Spat, what are you doing up at 5:54am?" And I'll tell you. I am up coughing and blowing my nose and wishing I had the world's bristliest bottle-brush with which to scratch inside my throat where there is an insane tickly itch that is driving me nuts. In between the coughing and nose blowing. I still have to work on/finish my opening, so I figured I might as well sit upright, lessen the symptoms, and try to get some work done. I still have a motion in limine due on Friday, and two more days of Tax to get through as well, so it's not like there's not enough work to do.

If I still feel like this tonight, I'll tell you right now there's some big, fat Nyquil in my future. I am all about getting enough sleep.

Also, good news, there's an "incoming push of arctic air" on the way the news just said. Big fun.

Damn right, they're better than yours.

I am trying to write my opening statement that I have to give tomorrow and my friend is sitting in here singing "Your cupcakes bring all the boys to the yard, damn right, they're better than yours..." OVER and OVER and OVER. Funny? Yes. Helping me get my work done? Not so much.

The cupcakes are a big hit, and I'm glad for that. Although my other friend remarked that I'm like the kids in school who bring most people the crappy little small valentines, but a FEW of the COOL people get big Valentines. What can I say? Not everyone I come into contact with every day is cupcake worthy!

And let's face it...that's rather how I got in this mess...thinking someone was cupcake worthy when when, really, not so much. So, yeah, some people get cupcakes and some don't...and I have earmarked cupcakes and set them aside for the people I haven't seen yet who are among the chosen few -- so if you read this blog and know me and have yet to receive your cupcake, you need to make sure to find me!

Happy V-day

The pictures are dedicated to Fresh, and a HUGE THANKS goes out to LQ for the recipe, because these are not only pink and shiny but they taste so freaking good that it's ridiculous! Overall, the recipe made about 40 cupcakes, the dark chocolate buttercream frosting is PERFECT, and my friend (ex-Roomie) and I ate ALOT of batter and ALOT of frosting...never has the bowl and paddle of my KitchenAid mixer been so clean!

Today, instead of a guy who doesn't appreciate me, or even apparently really like me that much, getting my homemade, fantastic, sparkly pink cupcakes, my good friends who are awesome and wonderful will get them. And I think that's right.

So far, so good.

I am actually feeling mostly OK. That makes me happy. While I don't appreciate the DELIVERY, I think his message was right, we weren't right for each other, and waiting for months upon months to break up would have just made it so much more horrible. It would be easier if I could hate him, but I'm hoping that he'll respect my wishes and keep this a nice clean breakup, and perhaps that's the most I can ask for. So far, he's stayed away both in person and via the telephone, and that makes me happy. He's a nice guy, who is kind of misguided and has "issues" and brings out my instinct to protect and nurture and care for, and that is a dynamic that would be too easy to get mired into, so it has to stay clean -- no contact. I'm not actually finding it TOO difficult except for the worries about running into him, and the occasional urge to call him...which is REALLY sick because what I kind of want is to make sure he's OK. What is truly bizarre is that last night, he was having such a hard time breaking it off, I was actually sort of encouraging him. "It's OK...just say what you think!" "You just need to go ahead and get this all of your chest, tell me what's really going on!" "You need to do what's right for you!" I'm officially way too nice.

Also, my friends are being so awesome. I was telling someone via email tonight that I feel like I'm on some non-lethal form of suicide watch. My one friend came over for the whole evening tonight. My other friend and I are having drinks tomorrow night downtown. And a third friend is hanging out with me after Trial Ad on Wednesday, which had sort of become my night to hang out with the guy. On Thursday I go home...so I'm totally covered. How could you ever ask for better people in your life?? I'm also headed to lunch tomorrow with a couple of friends as well. See, just the other day I said how lucky I am, and this is a prime example of that. It's not such a big breakup really, it's not like we were together for a really long time, or I was "in love" or whatever...just "in like," but I do appreciate the support both online and in my "real life," especially given the timing of this whole thing, and the fact that, like I said, the delivery left a bit to be desired (I mean, c'mon "Sorry, I'll just never be able to love you or feel the same way about you that you feel about me no matter how long we stay together" is kind of harsh, right?). All the comments, e-cards, and emails from you guys have been SO AWESOME! And I think my friends here appreciate that I'm spreading the angst around a little bit. :)

Pictures of cupcakes tomorrow. They are delicious and we had the most fantastic time ever making them!

The hardest thing.

The hardest thing is not calling him. Even knowing that he's not right for me, and it was bound to fail, and it wasn't even like he was around that long, it's SO HARD not to call. On Wednesday night, when I have my Trial Ad subsection, I have to walk LITERALLY right by his workplace, and I know he'll be there. My stomach kind of already hurts thinking about it. Don't call. Do. Not. Call. NO!

Goddamnit. God. Damn. It.

I was unceremoniously dumped tonight. Two days before Valentine's Day. That's right. Dumped.

I gave him his Valentine's Day gift anyway, and I'm happy to say it made him cry. Hard. That fucker. I hope that every time he listens to them he feels horrible. I don't mean that. He told me no one had ever done something so nice for him. But he still broke up with me. I did mean it, before, when I said I hope he feels horrible. I hope he goes home and listens to those CD's and cries all night. Damn him.

I am crying. A lot. But, I think that I'll be OK in the end. He told me that he just doesn't think he will ever feel about me the way I feel about him.

And he's probably right. And he was wrong for me. He was a warm body that I grabbed onto because he was nice to me and called on time and treated me with a minimum of basic human decency -- something that I have not experienced much, and so it was easy to convince myself it was much more important than it probably was.

But I'm hurt. It's two days before stupid Valentine's Day, and I got dumped by someone I really liked, and he thought he could never love me. I don't want to be dumped. And I don't want to be unlovable. And he wasn't even that great, and all my friends are like "THANK GOD" because they all thought he wasn't good enough. And he probably wasn't. But I'm sad. Really, really sad.

UPDATE: I deleted all of his contact information out of my phone. There are no second chances here. I also called my parents. I'm going home for the long weekend for some parental love, and possibly a shopping spree at Costco. I want my mommy!

UPDATE2: It's 3:30am and I can't sleep, but the Olympics are on, and nothing could be more boring than that, so I'm sure I'll fall asleep soon. I take comfort in the fact that (a) I am not crying and haven't been really since the initial "incident" and (b) I did get SOME sleep before I started thinking about it all again. I have SO MUCH to do this week, I can't afford to let this get me all discombobulated. Focus E. Spat, focus.

Weekly Law School Roundup #7

Sorry this is kind of short today -- I have a LOT of homework to do, and I didn't get much done yesterday due to being insecure and crazy, which takes up a lot of time, so I have to go get some stuff done this morning. Enjoy the next Law School Roundup next week at Evan Schaeffer's Legal Underground.

My good friend LQ chooses JAG (Legal Quandary)

Grossest thing a professor has brought to a class. Ever. (Ambivalent Imbroglio)

Now, why didn't I think of that? Seems so obvious coming from someone else. (Singing Loudly)

The worst movie ever. But at least it had hookers. A LOT of hookers. (Moonlighting in Misery)

"If Victoria freakin' Beckham knows the definition of the word and you don't, then you probably shouldn't be more than five minutes away from at least one doctor in a white lab coat at any given time." (Negligent Use of a Dangerous Mind)

Law and Order: SVU Valentines cards - if I could I would give each and every one of you one of these cards! (Dagny's Law Blog)

A new blog by the former owner of Moral Turpitude, one of the funniest blogs ever. (By The Seat of my Skirt)

Who HASN'T started having weird dreams since they started law school? (In Limine)

Oops, I did it again.

Well, I wasn't going to talk about the new relationship on here, but shit, where else am I going to talk about it? Besides, he doesn't read blogs or even have a computer, and he's already heard most of this, so I don't feel too guilty.

Basically I met a guy who I think is pretty nice. There are some major roadblocks to a long-term relationship, including the fact that I have mostly been looking for jobs outside of this city, and some factors in his life keep him pretty much tied to this area. Also, we are, I think, not necessarily on the same page as far as where we'd like our respective future lives to end up, or how we would live our lives if we had the means and opportunity to do so. But, he's nice and funny and smart, and I like him.

The problem of course, is me. It's been nearly four years since I had anyone in my life who even remotely resembled a "boyfriend," and the guys I've dated have mostly been people who I felt were disposable -- if they didn't call I just didn't care. Now, I have become invested. Not in a really major way mind you, but in the past month and a half we've been spending a lot of time together and I have consciously attempted to NOT let my past relationship issues jade me or make my so cynical that I'm totally bitter right from the start. And that's where I think I may have gone wrong.

Because I think I've let this person get under my skin a little bit, and I fear that I am not under his. That is a dangerous position, to be the person who really can't or won't walk away. Or, at the very least, to be the person who's with the person who COULD very easily walk away and not be the least bit bothered. I mean, I don't think he's going to randomly disappear out of my life all of the sudden, or just quit calling me, but I'm scared that I would be upset if he did. I'm SUPER scared that tonight, when he cancelled some plans at the last minute to do something else, my feelings were SO HURT. I'm scared at how much I had been looking forward to spending some time with him, and how easy it was for him to blow that time off for something else without even feeling the need to say "sorry" or "I wish I could be there, but I can't, not tonight." (Although the something else was important and understandable, and we talked all that out -- so that's not really the issue).

I'm going to go out for some drinks with some law school friends, and I'm sure I'll have a good time. But I'm worried. I'm stressed out that I could be getting myself into an untenable position with someone who seems to either have nothing to lose, or to not be worried about losing "it," whatever "it" is. I don't want to keep going along, only to find out in three months from now, when it would REALLY hurt to break up, that this "relationship" was all in my head. That the time we've been spending was only important to me all along.

I feel like crying right now, and that scares the shit out of me. Because, it's a minor thing, this not going out tonight stuff. And I don't want to read anything more into it, but I'm really worried that I'm going to get hurt, and I just don't know if I can handle any more of that any time soon -- I finally have felt like I was getting stronger, but now I'm worried that I've jumped from "normal infatuation" to "far too invested in something that is pretty unsure." How do you protect yourself? How do you know whether to let go or not? I just don't know.

Again?

It is ANOTHER beautiful day here! Holy crap! The sky is blue, the sun is shining...I feel like any minute the Acme Anvil will drop on my head or something -- it's just too perfect. My "friend" just left for work so I have a wonderful day planned. A day filled with vacuuming, and laundry, and homework, and other assorted domestic fun. Woohoo! I am going to open all my windows though once it gets a little warmer (it was about 60 yesterday), and pretend like I'm early spring cleaning.

I hope at least one more of those CD's makes it here today. Also, I have to go buy all the cupcake stuff too. I am keeping the cupcakes secret from the "friend"...if they're good I'll want to give him some, but if they turn out bad, I don't want him to know he missed out because I had a bad cooking day. Weird, I know.

My parents sent me money in response to being sick last week (yes, they send me money when I'm sick...but not for holidays, go figure), so I think I'm going to get Chinese take-out for dinner. Yum.

Perhaps it's just the way the light falls, but everything looks like a target to me.

I was talking to my friend the other day about music we used to listen to in high school, and I was having fond memories of a little band called Clutch that I used to be in love with. I saw them live a couple of times right around when Transnational Speedway League: Anthems, Anecdotes and Undeniable Truths came out, my senior year of high school (1993 God help me).Anyway, I had enough Lexis points to get 10 Itunes songs, so I downloaded some Clutch, having long lost track of all my old CD's due to various boyfriend/husband break-up pilferage, and one unfortunate car break-in where they stole my Air Force pager, my wallet, and my CD case.

I'm sitting here with my headphones on at school, listening to some Clutch, thinking about my days as a little industrial rock chick, complete with dyed black hair, short short skirts, combat boots, and a boyfriend with a purple mohawk. Man. This shit will take you back.

WHY?

Why, oh why, did I say "yes" when the nurse last week asked if an 8am follow-up appointment today would be OK? That means getting up at 6:15am on a morning where I don't have class until 11:30!! I'm an idiot! What this means is that I am going to be forced to drive down to the school so I can stop at 7-11 for my Super Big Gulp. Nothing else could possibly make this endurable. Is endurable a word? Crap it's early for a Friday.

Girl time is good.

I went to the mall tonight with my friend. We ate ridiculously overpriced Italian food, shopped, looked at TONS of girlie stuff, and I bought the sparkliest pink sparkly sparkle sugar from Williams-Sonoma (this link is not to Williams-Sonoma, I couldn't find sanding sugar on their website, but it looks kind of like this) to put on the cupcakes I'm going to make on Monday for Valentine's Day. LQ was generous enough to share her recipe with me, and it's THE BEST CUPCAKE RECIPE in the ENTIRE FREE WORLD. So, if I don't screw them up, all my friends will be getting pink sparkly cupcakes for V-day. YAY! I had so much fun!

I'm lucky.

I have to say that I am so lucky. I have been bummed lately about a variety of things, especially the past week or so, and there are some speed bumps happening in both my personal and pseudo-professional life, and you know what? One of my friends read about my job trials on the blog and sent me a really long and supportive email and said tons of nice things. My other friend offered to schedule lunch for us to talk about some of the things that have been bothering me. Another friend invited me to go shopping and to dinner tonight, knowing full well I didn't need to sit at home and spend the night brooding. Other friends have emailed, phoned, and I even got a gift in the mail the other day from someone who saw something and just thought it seemed "me" and impulsively bought it and sent it to me. M. and I got a chance to talk for over an hour the other night, which, with her schedule and mine, hasn't happened in probably a year. And I think I'm going to schedule a trip home in the near future as well. My mom and dad even sent me some cash this week to help pay for some of the medical expenses I racked up during my tropical mountain spotted owl fever river plague wasting disease last week.

So, since some of those people read this blog, I want them to know I totally appreciate it. Some of these people don't read the blog, and I need to be better about thanking them more, in person, for being such good friends. It's so easy to get caught up in the craziness in my life and forget that, no matter what, I'm OK. Without a boyfriend. With nebulous job prospects. With just barely above the curve grades. I'll totally be OK. I've been through so much in my life, now is no time to be getting overwhelmed with stuff that I know I can make it through.

I'm going to work on being more balanced. Back to the gym after a nearly two week hiatus -- this makes SUCH a huge difference with my mental health...HUGE!! Back to good eating habits. Vitamins and minerals are our friends! So yeah, I'm lucky and I need to stay on track.

In totally unrelated news -- I Netflix'd The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy and it came today, so I'll be watching it this weekend. Thumbs up or down? I also got Team America: World Police, so I think it's going to be a good movie weekend for me. With beer. Mmmmmmm....beer.

Appreciation of depreciation

OK, so Tax is sucking right now. And by "right now" I mean "right now this very instant." We have these problems we have to do for class, and it's taking me HOURS just to get through the stupid reading assignment, there is NO WAY in hell I'm going to get to the problems before class starts. Darnit! I didn't get home from Trial Ad last night until like 8:30, so you know I didn't get any homework done then. Crap, crap, crap...why do I always leave these things until the last minute????

The best part of course is that I'm taking time out of my very tight reading schedule to blog about how little time I have to get this all done. Some people never learn, me being right at the top of the list I guess.

1/4

One of the four CD's was in my mailbox when I got home. We're one quarter of the way there.

Oops

Today I was looking for jobs and I clicked on a link to a job I thought sounded interesting. It was one of those kind where you have to register with the company's little HR site in order to apply, so I went ahead and registered, thinking that after I did that it would give me a chance to select the job I would like to apply to, and perhaps upload a cover letter and whatnot. Uh, no. Instead, when I "registered," I actually "applied" to the job. It is a little disconcerting to know that I have just applied to a job that I have no idea what it pays, what it actually is, and with no cover letter or resume tweaking (which I would definitely normally do when I can't do a cover letter). Weird.

Foiled again.

So, I struggled internally with the whole "Valentine's Day" thing this year. On the one hand, I have a Valentine. On the other hand, it's pretty brand new, and not ultra-serious, and there is a certain ambivalence on his part to participate in the Day 'O' Mass Commercialization of Love and other Schmoopy Things, which I totally understand. But, you see, I'm a girl, so that totally doesn't get him off the hook at all. And, I LOVE LOVE LOVE any excuse to shop for anything, and I REALLY love trying to come up with good presents that I think people will like, so I'll spend ridiculous amounts of time trying to come up with something perfect in my (often downright paltry) price range.

Anyway, I really tried to come up with a good gift that wasn't stupid or too lovey-dovey or too expensive and thus uncomfortable-making for both of us. And when he mentioned that his CD case was stolen a couple of years ago and it had all the CD's of his favorite band of all time in it, I knew I had the answer. Through diligent searching on Amazon.com, I found all four CD's, used, and bought them. All the places said they would ship the same or next day. It's been three days, and only one CD is shipped and the rest say they'll be here "between Feb. 14th and Feb. 28th." Yeah, see, that's just not good enough Amazon! I mean, I know that the people selling used stuff are not actually in the Amazon warehouse or whatever, but still -- I need to know that shit I buy is going to get here in a reasonably timely manner...I don't have a backup gift idea AT ALL, and frankly I don't have time to come up with one in the next few days.

So, I'm a little pissed about this. I thought I had the perfect idea and as it turns out, the Universe actually IS against me. Damnit.

Wondering aloud.

Yesterday, Prof. Tax was talking about when it's allowable to deduct expenses related to clothes that you have to wear for work...

"Well, you can see if you go out in Beverly Hills to fancy boutiques on Rodeo Drive, or whatever the equivalent of that is in the TVPNM...."

Me: "North Face?"

Friend: "REI?"

What about today? Is today the worst day of your life? Yeah. Wow, that's messed up!

Email I JUST RECEIVED from the school. What's awesome is that I probably DO need mental help, but if Career Services would get on the ball, I could forego the 3L mental breakdown free counseling because I would have a job, and therefore a way to pay off my $80K in loans (so far). Also, 1L's and 2L's can apparently just suck it -- this is only for 3L's bitches!!
****************************************************
Assistance for Law Students

The Thinly Veiled Pacific Northwest State Bar Association (TVPNSBA) Lawyers' Assistance Program (LAP) offers long- and short-term psychotherapy to third-year law students attending the Thinly Veiled Pacific Northwest University Law School. Treatment is offered for depression, addiction, family and relationship issues, health issues, and other mental and emotional problems.

The fee is based on a sliding scale, ranging from no-cost to $30 and isdetermined by a student's ability to pay.

Instead of prison, you'll come here. Are you through?

I have this whole plan about how I'm going to go to school early today and get all this "work" done...and I think we all know what that means. An entire morning of reading blogs and surfing the internets and updating my Netflix requests. Yeah, I'm so on task.

Well, needless to say (or maybe I do need to say it), things have been crazy around here. School is not too bad, but I am busy with Trial Advocacy and (especially) Tax. I like my Tax prof more and more, but it's still tough and I'm still a math-moron, so that's an issue. Plus, I'm spending LOTS of time looking for a job, with an added bonus of all the rejection I could ever want. Woohoo!

And, well, I guess it's obvious that I've been seeing someone as well, and that's taking up a little bit of time as well. We (he and I) have talked about whether or not I'll blog about our dating life, and he says he doesn't care, but aside from funny stories I've really been staying away from it (he doesn't own a computer or know anything about blogs, so I feel a little guilty writing things he really has no opportunity or desire to read). I am worried that if it doesn't work out it will be hard to go back and read all that stuff, but at the same time, I'm worried that if it doesn't work out, you will all be in the dark and won't understand why I'm all mopey and sad. Everything seems to be going fine, but with my job hunt maybe taking me to far off places, there is probably some potential for emotional trauma. Oh well, what can you do, right? So, I guess what I'm saying is that it is there, and I know that you all know it's there, but I may or may not discuss it now or in the future...we'll just see what happens.

Strangely, even with all my friends around, and with someone of the male persuasion to hang out with a couple nights a week, I've been having a really hard time with loneliness and feeling isolated. I don't know why I am feeling that way now, when I'm basically in a pretty good place, but it's there and I am battling it a little bit. Maybe the winter doldrums? I don't know. I think that the job and school/graduation/passing the bar/where the hell is my life going thing is really eating away at me more than I even know. The uncertainty of not knowing what I'll be doing or where I'll be doing it is touching on all the areas of my life in a negative way, most of all my confidence and ability to deal with everday life stuff. I hate not knowing, and I hate not having closure, and the waiting/constant rejection is really getting to me. Oh well. Guess the only thing to do is keep plugging away, right?

On that happy and positive note, I'm going to head to 7-11 for my Super Big Gulp Diet Coke and then off to school. Maybe this will be the day I figure out the secrets to federal income tax. But, considering the fact that my summer job doesn't know where it sent my W-2 or when they can get me a new one, perhaps not.

Quote of the Day

From this What Would Tyler Durden Do? story about stupid Lindsey Lohan:

Those top pics are obviously Lindsay and Fergie acting like idiots on the runway. Being the most insufferable bitch at a fashion show is like being the meanest badger. You really really have to step up.

Hahahahaha. Oh God. Meanest badger. That's so awesome.

If any of you ever wonder how I spend my "study time" in the mornings, and I know you do, let me direct you to:

WWTDD?
The Superficial
Go Fug Yourself
Best Week Ever Blog

Yup, that's how you kill a morning. And a GPA.

Another mundane post about my boring life. Sorry.

Well, I guess it was bound to happen, but not only did we lose the Superbowl (have I ever seen so many people on the news crying when no one even died? NO!), but my "friend" is sick now (thanks to me I guess). The best part is that he seems to be suffering in a different way than I was, so I'm looking forward to getting sick again, in a new and exciting way. I made him homemade chicken soup, chocolate chip cookies, and a care package with vitamins, magazines, orange juice, and candy. I'm so awesome!

Anyway, it's actually sunny again here today -- I'm so excited. Even though GK is out of town, I think I might take our usual walk today at lunch and try to soak up a little bit of sun if it actually sticks around that long. Two days in a row, I almost don't know what to do! I spent some time this weekend reading ahead for Tax, but I still feel totally behind in there and I know it's almost my turn to get called on again. I guess it can't be any worse than last time, when all my answers consisted of "Uh....um....well....uh...."

I have to go get my Diet Coke, try to review some Tax, and call D.C. to find out where the hell my W-2 is. It's fantastic when they can tell you they lost it, but not when they can get it reprinted or get it out to you. Because, it's not like I need to refund or anything. Right?

Weekly Law School Roundup #6

Weekly Law School Roundup #6 is up at Evan's place.

In other news, it's SUNNY here! It may only last an hour, or maybe it's a good omen for the big game today, but either way, I have all my windows open even though it's only about 40 degrees -- people, I haven't seen the sun in like two months! This is BIG!

Radio Silence

I apologize for the period of non-posting this weekend. We've been having CRAZY windstorms here that left me without power for nearly 24 hours, and I still don't have cell phone service, which sucks since I don't have a landline. Plus, last night was my ex-Roomie's birthday and I had shopping/partying to attend to. Today is, of course, the Superbowl...and believe me, I'm not sure it's even safe to be outside because people are already drunk off their collective asses.

In other news, my "friend" hasn't been talking in his sleep, but this morning he was trying to convince me that I was going to bend to his will about some subject, and when I said I wasn't going to he goes "Then I'll put you in a figure-four leglock and squeeze you until you tap out. What do you think about that?" Holy shit, I laughed so hard...who says that kind of stuff? Anyway, I'm off to do some super-fantastic homework. Awesome.

The final countdown...

Superbowl MANIA has officially hit the city. I mean, it had actually officially hit the city a couple of weeks ago, but now it's out of control. EVERY SINGLE RADIO STATION has a Superbowl themed parody song based on one Top-40 hit or another. EVERY SINGLE NEWS REPORT is about the Superbowl, where to watch the Superbowl, what local people are going to go see the Superbowl, or any of another 1,000,000 variations on that general theme. Honestly, I want to hide in my apartment until it's all said and done, and that's probably just what I'll do. I bought a couple of books the other day, and I have plenty of homework to keep me busy (God knows), and I thought I might make a batch of Oatmeal Raisin cookies...so, hey...Superbowl? What Superbowl?

Honestly though. The song parodies. So awful.

You might regret it, but you asked.

OK, so like a week ago I said I was drinking what I thought was a fantastic white wine, and a couple of people said they wanted to know what it was. Now, bear in mind that I am NOT a wine drinker normally, and I tend to pick things based on the "pretty label" or the "fun description" taped next to the bottle at the wine shop. So, you know, fair warning. Also, for me, "fantastic wine" is a descriptor that I use in place of other words...words like "guzzle-able," "doesn't taste like ass," and "I drank the entire bottle because, hey, it's just fruit juice, right?"

For the most part I only drink white wine, and usually Riesling. I picked up this particular wine because it had a fun label and name, and the description sounded good. Very scientific, huh?

It's White Truck by Cline Cellars, which is apparently in central California somewhere. Here's the winemaker's comments, which are, incidentally, what were posted next to the display at the store that made me want to buy it:

This bright fresh wine exhibits grapefruit, gooseberry and orange flavors. No oak or malolactic fermentation was used in this blend. white truck pairs well with spicy foods or can be a delightful treat all by itself.

So, there you go. I liked it...but, I'm more than willing to admit that my high-class taste in beer probably doesn't follow to my taste in wine. A bottle of this ran about $12.

Ah, here it is. "Breach Hull - All Die." Even had it underlined.

The hand-me-down Spatula-mobile has a problem. My grandpa was in a couple of accidents in it (hence getting his driver's license taken away, hence me getting the car) and one of them damaged the gas tank. This meant that the gas tank had to be replaced, and I'm assuming that when that happened, whatever inbred, backwoods mechanic out in Podunk-ville my grandpa took it to effed it up. Because, here's the thing. The gauge doesn't work properly. On any steep hill (and by steep I mean, any hill at all), the little needle promptly drops to "E" and the gas light comes on. When you're back on solid ground, the needle goes back up, but often the gas light stays on. Sometimes the gas light is on AND the needle is on "E" for a while, and so I'll go get gas, only to find out I still had 6 gallons in an 18 gallon tank. This is all highly irritating to me. My gas light is on probably 80% of the time, and since my parking lot is SLIGHTLY angled, when I get in my car in the morning, the needle is ALWAYS on "E" and the light is on, and it takes an hour to equalize and even then I'm not really sure if it's right or not. I have a terrible fear of running out of gas. Not because I drive in the wilderness so often or anything, but because I think it would be highly humiliating to have to call my Triple-A people and tell them I ran out of gas in a city with a gas station every 1/2 block.

Anyway, that's my rant for today I suppose. I am sitting in my office at school trying to force myself to start making up about three days of tax homework. Awesome. I will definitely be having a big, fat beer tonight to make up for an entire day of tax.

The Interview

I drove out of town today to have a THIRD interview at a firm. I think it went well, but who knows, right? I know the senior partner really likes me, but the other two partners seem less convinced. There are a lot of positives to this place, even though it's not the place I worked for the last several months that I loved...but as far as firms go, I think it's a reasonably good fit and I'd get to do work I would like. They are interviewing one other person next week (a friend of mine), and then they said they'd make a decision within two weeks after that, so I guess I should know something by the end of February. Anyway, I'm feeling a bit better but still not 100%. Hopefully soon. I don't have school tomorrow but I'm going to try to spend all day making up the work for the past two days of classes I've missed and getting ahead for next week so that I can spend Saturday afternoon/evening celebrating my ex-Roomie's birthday.

Out of town...

Sorry guys, one more day of no posting. I have to go out of town today for an interview, so I won't be back until tonight. Thanks for all the well-wishes on feeling better, I am. I lost nearly 10 pounds in three days though, so that was awesome. Dr. says I'll live though. I'll likely be back tomorrow to my usual routine unless I have some sort of weird setback.

Blech Part 2

I am feeling under the weather. I have a Dr.'s appointment in about an hour, and hopefully they'll tell me what's up. I have to drive out of town tomorrow for an interview, so I'm hoping to be semi- to mostly-fully-functional by then, but who knows. My Friday class got cancelled at least, so I have a three day weekend. Anyway, I will be back when I am feeling better.