Sunday, February 19, 2006

My name is John Johnson but everyone here calls me Vicki.

Tomorrow morning I leave to go back to the TVPNM, back to law school, back to trying to find a other words, back to the grind. It's been awesome being home. Money, gifts, food, walking the dog, sympathy, empathy, family time...seriously, my parents are so freaking cool.

I've spent ALOT of time processing the breakup and I think that, although I still have a few lingering doubts, I'm pretty much happy with how everything has turned out, and I'm accepting the stuff I can't change, to borrow a phrase. I don't know why I would have any doubts at all, since, as several people have pointed out, this is not a person or a relationship that I need to really spend a lot of time mourning. But I feel very deeply for people who I choose to let into my life, and sometimes you get people in your life and when they leave, for whatever reason, you wonder if you fulfilled the entire purpose of why they were brought to you. Like, I wonder sometimes if the Universe places certain things in your path to teach a specific lesson, and when my heart really has a hard time (a harder time than seems warranted) understanding something or some situation, I try really hard to make sure I'm getting the lesson. I think in this case there were a couple of pretty big lessons that I needed to learn, even if from what was only a short relationship. So, overall, I'm not glad that it seemed to hurt sometimes inordinately badly, but I think I'm starting to get some things I needed to get. Go me!

Anyway. Tomorrow morning I head back. Back to Tax homework, arguing a motion in Trial Ad on Wednesday night and preparing for our bench trial in two weeks, getting ready for the MPRE (am I registered for Bar/Bri review or not? why can't they make my life easier instead of harder?), and GASP, getting ready for finals. Again. Sigh. I signed up for classes for my LAST QUARTER OF LAW SCHOOL today.

Trial Ad (next quarter will focus on a mock criminal trial with all the bells and whistles)
Animal Law
Business Organizations
International Humanitarian Law (taught outside the law school as an international studies course by a retired Colonel. if I don't get an A++ you should all run and hide, because obviously the world is coming to an end.)

I can't believe it's nearly over. Wow.

I am also STILL waiting to hear on the job I THIRD INTERVIEWED for two weeks ago. The job that originally promised to let me know by the END OF DECEMBER. The job where my good friend is the only other person in the running. We're both on the edge of our seats, and the waiting is making us crazy. We have an agreement that whoever gets the job has to take the other one out drunking, so I'd like to find out if for no other reason than to go on a nice satisfying bender. After the couple of weeks I've had...I think I deserve it.
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