Wednesday, July 14, 2004

Why is that toy on your head*?

For those of you wondering what to do with the fishtank that you have lying around in your garage until your next garage sale...why not smash your head through it and then wear it as a hat while you wander the streets, “semiconscious and combative?”

They should have put a label on that aquarium warning that it could be dangerous if used in a manner such as this...when I am lawyer this is exactly the client I am going to be looking for. My initial client interview checklist will start out with easy questions, like "How many times a week do you blow dry your hair while sitting in the bathtub?" From there it will get a little more difficult, like "Have you ever poured gasoline on your grill to help it light?" Finally, I will end with a hardball, like "How many times have you consumed 15 pints of beer and then stored a sawed-off shotgun in your pants only to blow your own testicles off?" Anyone who can't pass the screening can't be a client of Energy Spatula, Esq. I have a good feeling about this business plan. A real good feeling.

*Title courtesy of Real Genius...the best movie ever. Simul-posted at L^3.
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