Thursday, July 22, 2004

A little dinner conversation...

Conversation between me and guy serving me a slice of pizza for dinner (really and truly, to the best of my ability to remember, this is pretty much the exact conversation):

Pizza Guy:  "So, are you from here?"
Me:  "No, I'm here for the summer from TVPNM"
PG:  "Oh old are you?"
Me:  "Uhhhh...ummmm...I'll be thirty in a few months"
Intermission for narration:  Pizza Guy is in his mid-forties, and the years have clearly been tough.  He is missing teeth.  He has a bald spot.  He has one gold the front. 
PG:  "Really? look good girl!"
Me:  "OK...well thanks"  (try desperately to grab plate with slice of pizza from him)
PG:  "Why you tryin' to run away like that? Are you scared?  You are hot girl.  I'm gonna hold on to this pizza so we can talk some more"
Me:  "Ha..ha...ha...seriously, thanks"  (more desperate grabs for plate)
PG:  "You got a husband?"
Me:  "No...I mean yes"
PG:  "C'mon girl, you got a husband or not, don't lie to me're too pretty to be lying"
Me:  "Uh...I have an ex-husband, but I...uh...I have a boyfriend, yeah, too bad, I've got a boyfriend back inTVPNM"
PG:  "What's his name?"
Me:  "Uhhhh...well...hey can I just get my pizza" (Note to self:  have name of imaginary boyfriend thought up in advance for next time)
PG:  "Well, whoever he is, he's your ex-boyfriend now, because I'm here and I'm about to get all up on you girl"
Me:  "OK...I'll let him know..."
PG:  "Enjoy your dinner, let me know if you need anything"

And then he winked.  EWWWWWW.  Oh god, I'm totally traumatized. 
This blog is sponsored by The Reeves Law Group at 515 South Flower Street, 36th Floor. Los Angeles CA 90071. (213) 271-9318