Sunday, May 28, 2006

Pseudo SNL

I got home from the movies about a half hour ago, and although I couldn't stay awake THERE, now that I am HERE I can't fall asleep. And, after SNL is done, we have this local skit comedy show that comes on. It is so awful. I wish I could explain how truly wretched and terrible it is, but I don't think I even have the words. Stupid skits and sketches, a terrible stand-up comedian, a news segment that is just jokes about local news and all the outlying cities and suburbs that TVPNM people consider to be full of rubes and peasants (ie: not funny at all in any way, shape, or form).

The stand-up comedian didn't get a laugh for a full two or three minutes, and then regressed into "my girlfriend is a nagging bitch" and masturbation jokes. Oh, hilarious. Seriously. And then, to top things off, he did a "levitation" bit, involving purposely falling off a chair for a laugh. Totally unfunny. And the "volunteer" he picked from the audience to help him fall off the chair was just so northwest...she has on mom jeans, a sweatshirt with an elk or a deer or some other wierd antler-ed animal on it, and red rubber shoes made out of recycled 2-liter bottles or bike tires or some shit like that. God.

I wish I could go to sleep. I should go be a stand-up comedian if my job doesn't work out. If you can make it being, literally, the unfunniest man to ever walk the planet Earth, I should be good to go. I mean, I might have to get everyone drunk first, but at least there's a fighting chance they'll laugh! Even though I'm home alone, I almost feel uncomfortable watching a bunch of people who aren't funny trying to be funny. It's so awkward.
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