Round one goes to GTBTN if for no other reason than CPM has this idiotic bullshit to say for himself:
In his account, the perpetrator is Nguyen (Ed. note...this is the girl who took his picture on her cell phone and...uh...exposed him. Heh.), who misread his intentions (he claims he was already mid-masturbation when she stepped onto the train) and then humiliated him by posting his picture on the Web. He says he didn’t even realize he’d been photographed. “Even so, I wouldn’t imagine somebody throwing it up on the Internet for millions of people and destroying your life like that,” he says. “It’s one thing to take it to the police. But on the Internet, I read a lot of people saying, ‘That was not too cool of her. That was really screwed up.’ ”
Hoyt believes that if he and Nguyen had only met under different circumstances, she might really like him. “You know, she’d go, ‘That guy’s pretty cool. He’s got this restaurant, and he’s fun,’ ” Hoyt says. “She’d probably want to go out with me.”
Well, I mean REALLY! A guy can't be expected to just STOP mid-masturbation. On a train. In public. This chick is such a bitch for expecting to be able to ride public transportation without having to worry about being sexually assaulted. And then, to post his picture to the internet when he was just trying to pleasure himself in the privacy of his very own...um...subway car. Why can't people just let the sexual perverts of the world do whatever they want? Why does everyone have to harsh his mellow like that, man? How completely freaking unreasonable of women to want to be safe outside their homes. Or, shit, even inside their homes. But, you know, I'd settle for outside for now.