I had a study session tonight that was actually pretty productive, and I knew A LOT more than I thought I did. SUCCESS! Of course, that doesn't help me in the other 20 subjects, but whatever. Had a long talk with a friend about all the weirdness the bar exam brings out.
Here's some stuff "they" don't tell you about bar review.
1. You WILL start to have every unresolved issue in your life come to the forefront. Self-esteem, spouses, parents, kids, abandonment, self-doubt, dependency, self-abuse...oh yeah. All of 'em.
2. You will spend a lot of time wondering how you actually spent the last six hours and why you don't have anything done.
3. You will comfort yourself in whatever way is the most physically, emotionally and mentally destructive.
4. You will cry because you think your friends hate you because you're sure that some random thing they said was actually directed against you.
5. You will be sure that whatever "bad" things are going on in your life (even ones you never knew or cared about before) will never end or be resolved.
6. You will sometimes eat ice cream in the middle of the night just because if you don't you might die.
7. You will have a dream about whether your boyfriend moving on to your side of the bed in the middle of the night constitutes an easement (this happened to Ex-Roomie, obviously not me).
8. You will have a nightmare that your parents called you up and found the blog and disowned you.
9. You will eat a lot of snacks and/or drink more caffeine than any human heart should be able to handle.
10. You will feel guilty no matter what choice you make.
I'm off to bed. Because I feel guilty about not studying. Or, alternatively I feel guilty about not getting enough sleep which makes me paranoid and weepy and fearful and probably drives my friends bonkers. I might even feel guilty about the fact that I am too tired to read more than one page of the book I've been "reading" for over a month before I fall asleep, face in my pillow suffocation-style, and sleep like the dead until tomorrow morning. When I will feel guilty for hitting snooze too many times, for not blow-drying my hair, for not reading for class, for not making time to flashcard before class, for not going to the gym, for paying more to park so I won't have to walk so far to class, and for eating too many snacks in class to stay awake.
Bar Review Studiers - We Produce More Guilt Before 8am Than Most People Do In A Year!