Saturday, June 17, 2006

Open Letter to Hot Guy At My Gym

Dear Hot Guy At My Gym Who Wears a Bandana,

Normally I don't find the bandana look all that attractive, but I must say, you manage to pull it off nicely. Speaking of pulling things off, how about those pants? Anyway, where was I?

Oh yeah. So, you are very cute. And, as it turns out, I am very desperate and very stressed out. Sadly, I am not as cute as I normally strive to be, but I'm sure you could find a way to overlook that...see above: desperation - which, as we know, lowers inhibitions only slightly less than Cuervo Gold.

About me. I am high-strung, slightly crazy, have obsessive perseverant thoughts, and mumble things at random moments like "PINE: Prescriptive, Implied, Necessity, Express..." I drink too much caffeine, don't sleep well, self-medicate with alcohol and candy, and am just, in general, a totally screwed up human being right now. But...ummmm...desperate. And stressed out.

Give me a call if any of this sounds good to you, I wrote my phone number of this piece of paper I tore out of my Bar/Bri book titled "Substantive Due Process" - I figure I need what you have more than I need that right now. Con Law is for chumps, cute boys in tight pants and bandanas are for moi.


E. Spat.
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