Dear Person/People with Differing Political Beliefs Than Me Who Feel Compelled To Talk About Those Beliefs Incessantly and Endlessly and Without Reservation or, frankly, Forethought,
I am able to get along very well, in general, with people on both sides of the political fence because except for two or three hot-button issues I am very moderate and sort of "middle-of-the-road." How is it that you, person/people, find my two or three issues EVERY. SINGLE. DAMN. DAY. ? I mean, it's not that hard to steer away from topics like "The Military Is The Embodiement of Evil" and "Gun Owners Are Responsible For The Fact That Everything Everywhere Sucks," is it?
Please, for the love of God, leave me alone. Let's not talk about politics. Not at a bar. Not at work. Not at lunch. Nowhere. It would be so much nicer for me, and isn't that what's important?
Yours In Barely Supressed Rage Which Takes Up Space that Apathy and Diet Coke and Beer Could Be Filling,
E. Spat.
PS: I will also point out that when you start to bring my parents into The Sweeping Generalizations Of Groups Who I Don't Understand Because I Have Never Bothered To Inform Myself And I've Never Actually Been One Game, you are treading on very thin ice. Don't characterize my mom as anything less than a saint or my dad as anything less than a hero. Do. Not.
PPS: If you would like to speak when you have become "informed" and "calm" and "able to talk about these things rationally" that would be awesome. But still not at lunch, or at work, or at a bar. I mean, c'mon. Why not skip the "bickering" and "fighting" and move straight into the "drinking" and "having fun"? That's right...you have no good reason not to go along with my plan...another E. Spat peaceful solution at work.
