Here are some fun things I learned today...addressed to the person who taught me whatever thing I learned.
Dear Lady In Front Of Me On The Way To School In The White Neon,
While I applaud your use of your turn signal, it is my unfortunate job to let you know that turn signals do not in any way alter the space-time continuum or suspend the laws of physics. It would stand to reason then that your Dodge Neon cannot occupy the same space as my Mercury Sable. If you battle me, you will lose. Guaranteed.
Dear Guy In Front Of Me On My Way Back To My Car After School,
Yes. I did hear you make those monkey noises.
Dear 1L Walking Out Of School Next To Me Today,
I see that you're holding your Property and your ConLaw textbooks. They look heavy! And important! I also see that your backpack is nearly empty. You may be fooling undergrad girls, but you're not fooling me. FYI.
Dear Extra-Sharp White Cheddar Cheese That Cost Me $8.95,
You are so awesome. I heart you. If I could marry you and have your babies, I won't lie, I'd do it.
OK...I think that's it for now. I have to do some work-work, some school-work, and write a cross-exam for Trial Ad for tomorrow night. MORE CHEESE! And marshmallows! And, I won't lie, maybe a beer.