Today my CrimLaw class went to visit the local jail. It's a huge facility with approximately 2,500 prisoners, about 85% of whom are waiting to be sentenced. They broke us up into two groups and took us on a tour of three of the main floors. Our tour leader was a 14 year veteran of the correctional system and was a very funny and interesting man. So, we got to see the holding cells and intake unit, and we even got to see one of those Hannibal Lecter chair/dolly things that really bad people get strapped into.
But, the best part happened at the end when the correctional officer broke out a shadow box full of things they had confiscated from inmates. There were guns, knives, pipes, drugs, and a whole array of things that I can't even begin to guess the use of. The guard helpfully told us "All the stuff that we find hidden in people's 'orifices' we call 'kiesters'". Then he told us "whenever I see one inmate giving drugs to another inmate I always ask the recipient whether he knows where those drugs came from." To which one of my classmates answered "the Kiester Bunny."
Since I've already lowered myself to talk about this subject here is the other funny thing that happened. The correctional officer held up a little travel sized toothbrush and asked "Does anyone know why this toothbrush is so small?" And I helpfully answered, "so it can fit up someone's kiester?" But the real answer turned out to be so that when the inmates file it down into a point (which they are apparently pretty likely to do) it's not long enough to really hurt someone with. Who knew?