Contents of care package I am sending to Boy I Like today:
1. Two books, both by J. Maarten Troost: The Sex Lives of Cannibals and Getting Stoned with Savages.
2. Huge candy bar.
3. Animal crackers. The good ones...the kind in a box with a string.
4. Whistle shaped like a helicopter. Why? WHY NOT!
5. Mad Libs.
6. Hopping Lederhosen.
7. USA vs. Commies Army Men.
8. Aveda Skin Cleanser and Lotion (it's humid in the South and my pal, the man formerly known as Fitz Hume, recommended it to me).
9. Pencil for the Mad Libs, with pencil topper shaped like a molar.
So, as you can see...it's not the best care package in the world, but at least I tried to strike a good balance between food, skin care, and mindless entertainment.