Thursday, June 02, 2005

Shut UP, I'm trying to think.

What is it that's so funny about the word "disgorgement"? Oh yeah, EVERYTHING!

I have my Crest Whitestrips in...I'm drooling like Molly the Satanic Dog on a field trip to the Milkbone Factory. Why can't I be that pretty girl in the commercial that just slips them on her teeth and confidently runs out the door to healthfully bicycle her way to work with a ginormous shit-eating grin on her beautiful gorgeous straight-toothed face, Whitestrips invisible, unencumbering, and non-drool-making? I think she's the same girl that plugs up the hole in her boyfriend's romantic but leaky canoe with her tampon...and then they both laugh and bond and look at each other with that "special look." Because, let's face it, what's hotter than yanking a tampon out of your pocket and getting all MacGyver with it?

I'm listening to Bob Marley and studying PR. I have yet to figure out if these activities are mutually exclusive, or just merely ironic when done together. There's pretty much nothing that Bob advocates that won't get you in trouble with the ABA somehow, someway. However, I find the music relaxing, and it nearly counters the totally soul-destroyingness of PR as a "subject." LQ and I have discussed amongst ourselves and agree that a weekend seminar with snacks would be totally sufficient and much less time waste-y. My time is valuable people! I don't have financial aid money given to me by the government which I must pay back WITH INTEREST to just throw around taking classes that could easily be taught in 1/10th the time with 1/27th the effort on both mine and the professor's parts. And with SNACKS! Think of the possibilities! I would almost be willing to figure out what deontology is if we could make this happen before my exam on Monday.

The only other big addition to my life is one of those great big exercise balls that you lay on to do crunches and stuff. My mom gave it to me (makes me wish she'd just told me I had fat knees...the giving of exercise equipment is even worse than flat-out verbal criticism) and I've been using it. The only downside so far is that my entire mid-section from shoulders to hips is in complete and utter pain, the degree of which I haven't experienced since I fell down while I was drunk and landed on a big rock and had a bruise on my ass for two months . The upside is my stomach muscles hurt so much I don't really feel like eating...perhaps I will try to figure out a way to engage in a targeted knee-fat-loss program that will restore my knees to thier once splendiforous glory. But probably not.

I can't wait for exams to be over.
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