Somebody's got a case of the Mondays.

I forgot to set my alarm last night. I think I was so into Grey's Anatomy that I just went to bed and didn't think of mundane things like getting to school, and getting my Estate Planning homework done, both of which need to happen this morning. But, when I woke up at about 8:15, I felt the best I've felt in days, physically-speaking. I've had this thing lately where, when I first get up, I feel really dizzy and sort of light-headed and nauseated (before even one of you comments, NO, I am NOT pregnant). My self-diagnosis is that I'm not drinking enough water, getting enough sleep, or getting enough exercise. So, basically, my body hates me.

Today I turn in my very last Estate Planning assignment, and the last class is on Wednesday. This week, on Thursday, is our Mock Trial for Trial Advocacy. It's going to be insane getting ready for it, and I have A LOT of work to do, but it will be over soon, and it's pass/fail...so whatever. As of this Friday, one-half of my classes will be over. Then I just have to get through two exams and one paper. And graduation. And the bar. Sigh.

Every good story has a beginning, a middle, and an end.

Yesterday, my friend came over and we got a couple of movies, and some wine and cheese and other yummy goodies, and sat on my couch to just hang out and chill.

Then, we drank three bottles of wine (plus a bottle earlier at my friend's son's birthday party), ate our cheese and goodies, and watched the movies.

Now, I feel like a ten-thousand pound bag of ass, and am seriously hoping that I get hit by a freight train and put out of my misery.

the end.

Whatever Todd, you're not my real dad*

Me: "Thanks for the information. What was your name again?"

Guy on phone: "My name IS Steve."

Me (in my head): "Dear Steve, Fuck You. The End."

*I'll explain this title another day when I'm not full of beer and marshmallows.

A meme for you and me.

I liked this meme at Spilt Milk, so I took it -- it's not one of those ones you have to assign to people, but if you like it, do it! And send a trackback or a comment or something so we can all see what you said.

I AM: extremely tired and stressed out, but will still find time for happy hour tomorrow night.
I WANT: more cheese. I can't get enough cheese lately.
I WISH: I had the ability to focus on details.
I HATE: feeling frustrated.
I MISS: having a dog.
I FEAR: the people at my new job don't think I'm doing good work or won't like me.
I HEAR: voices in my head telling me to buy more cheese. And to throw in some ice cream while I'm at it.
I WONDER: whether I'll ever be someone's mom.
I REGRET: letting my ex-husband take the dog.
I AM NOT: going to waste any more of my days wondering if I'm too fat to be loved. As the Zenmaster says "Do you spend time wondering whether the leaves on the trees are the right shape? Do you argue with God about the details?"
I DANCE: SO much better when I'm drunk.
I SING: in the shower every morning because Ex-Roomie bought me a shower CD player that's awesome. Today I sung "Temperature" by Sean Paul. Hell yeah.
I CRY: whenever I get too tired, and usually in front of people I regret crying in front of.
I AM NOT ALWAYS: fun and funny.
I MAKE WITH MY HANDS: a pretty decent homemade apple cream cheese pie.
I WRITE: because if I don't I feel icky.
I CONFUSE: the hell out of most people who meet me.

The Imbroglio is no longer ambivalent. Good luck to AI, and don't forget to change your bookmarks/blogrolls (that's more a reminder for myself than anything else).

I'm off to do Mock Trial prep, just like last night, and tomorrow night, and every night for the next week. I *may* get an update in either late tonight, or late tomorrow night, otherwise I will be back on Saturday, because I'm just super busy with all kinds of crazy stuff.

To-MAY-to, To-MAH-to

The lady on the local news station that I like pronounces "tran-SEE-ent" as "tran-GENT."

Annoying.

I'm brilliant, I'm eighteen, I'm hyperkinetic, and possibly if I stopped to think about it I might be upset!

**This is a little long and rambly...sorry. Every time I tried to edit it just got worse, so I figured I better stop before it was totally incoherent, which it might already be.**

I've been thinking a lot lately about attraction (and here I mean "physical attraction"), and the role of attraction in both dating and marriage (or whatever long-term relationship, if any, you subscribe to). In the past, the men I have had an immediate physical attraction to, what I would normally call "chemistry", have turned out to be pretty horrible. You've got your adulterers, your abusers, your drug users, your alcoholics, your secret sex-lifers, and worst of all, your plain old "I just don't care about you enough to put forth any effort whatsoever"-ers.

For the past couple of years, I have been really trying to put some thought into my relationship choices. And I'm not saying I haven't made some terrible choices, because, well, I have. But I'm trying really hard to learn something. And I'm trying to make conscious decisions, to not just be a slave to whatever that thing is that only makes me attracted to "bad boys." My former therapist, affectionately known (behind his back, obviously) to all my friends and family as "The Zenmaster," had basically said "The reason you are attracted to these men is that they don't like you and don't respect you, and you don't like you and don't respect you either...so you automatically have something really important in common." And, it's true.

The question now is, what do I do if I meet a guy who DOES genuinely like me? Who DOES make the effort? Who DOES call? How do I change this pattern of being attracted to men who really don't like or respect me? Obviously, loving and accepting myself, and being able to provide intrinsic affirmation would help. And I'm working on that. BUT, what I'm finding is that although I am much more confident now, and I'm actively watching what I do instead of just landing in situations and letting them take over my life, I still find myself physically attracted to guys who just are not what I need long-term (or short-term either for that matter). And I don't even mean a hot body or whatever (although sometimes that is true), because they're not even all conventionally attractive. What I mean is, they ultimately cannot give me what I need or want. They usually can't even begin to provide just the basics of human decency, let alone the foundation for building a life together. Sometimes I think this residual "bad boy" desire is just a legacy of my 20's, and I got used to doing things a certain way and I just don't know how to react to other people now. And sometimes I think that maybe the chemicals in my brain are totally effed up and only jump around and clap their little hormonal hands when they meet guys who are dickheads.

The question in my mind is, what is "chemistry." Is it a habit? Because the phrase "He's my type" sounds kind of like a habit to me. Like, "Well, I've always dated guys who are tall with brown hair and blah blah blah, so that must be the only type of guys who I'm attracted to." Is chemistry something that just happens to us, the result of two people's pheromones getting a whiff of each other and deciding they like what they sniff? Or, can attraction be learned to some extent. I mean, we've all probably had a friend we weren't attracted to, and then once we got to know them, all of the sudden we could picture "it." That seems sort of like learned behavior to me...your decision about the other person's sexual attractiveness changes based on your getting to know them as a person.

So, there's the instant attraction people, and the people who kind of grow on you after you get to know them, and the people who just magically are a certain "type." But the question I always go back to is, what MAKES that happen? Can it be changed or manipulated consciously based on other factors. In the instance of the guy you become friends with who later starts to be attractive to you, can you take that point of view and look at all potential partners with it? Or, is it better to meet people and NEVER think of them as potential partners so that there is never any expectation and the attraction, if it's going to happen, just grows naturally out of the friendship?

I have really been pondering on and struggling mentally with this issue, because I don't want to pass up a great guy (should I meet one) because he is too nice to me, or he's a bit quirky, or he doesn't have enough of an "edge." And believe me, I KNOW that the edge is what usually comes back to bite me on the ass later on. There's just a fine line for me between too much of an edge (not that I usually have the sense to think there's too much of an edge, but looking back in hindsight, there was too much of an edge in the sense that the guy was a criminal or whatever), and "PLEASE, please, pllllllllease, get a backbone," the latter of which makes me lose all respect, and that kills whatever attraction might have been there anyway. See, I'm like the kid who already knows the stove is hot and just can't stop touching it!

The picture of health.

Stones deny Keith Richards suffered brain damage.

BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

I think they mean, "any new brain damage," or "because he doesn't actually have a brain anymore, just a tiny gin soaked olive on a toothpick with a British flag on the end of it rattling around inside his skull."

My favorite quote is:

But the band issued a statement on Monday acknowledging that after complaining of headaches, he had undergone "a small operation to remove the pressure."

You just know that like 47 kilos of coke, 17 hypodermic needles, a midget, 5 goats , 12 hookers and a box of strawberry frosted Pop-Tarts fell right out of that hole. Hahaha, no brain damage. Oh God, that's a good one.

Here it is, your moment of extreme paranoia

You know that lady at the grocery store? She comes in after work, and she has on elastic waist pants that are, at best, a polyester/rayon blend, and her shoes are scuffed, and they're loafers with orthopedic soles, and her hair is dyed the exact wrong color out of a box, and you can tell she tried to put on makeup but it looks like she gave up halfway through, and she has cat hair all over her bulky brown cardigan sweater with gold basketweave pattern buttons, two colors of cat hair, and she's still wearing her ID badge from work, probably because she thinks it makes her look important, or maybe she just forgot, even though it's hanging on a handmade lanyard, and she's probably only 35 but she looks 57, and she's buying the hugest bottle of cheap white wine they sell, and one can of tomato soup, and she's just a little too friendly with the 19 year old kid bagging her groceries? You know her? More than anything in my whole life, I don't want to be that lady at the grocery store.

Question of the day.

So, I went out for dinner and had a few drinks with a couple of my girlfriends tonight (Sur-pri-ise!). Anyway, one of the greatest mysteries known to heterosexual women came up (heh), and I thought I'd let you guys take it on, if you'd like.

Hand size is related to you-know-what size.

Discuss.

My day has come!

Thanks to CM for alerting me to the following story:

A Comedians's Riff on Bush Prompts an E-Spat.

YAY! I'm famous! Oh wait, you mean this isn't about me? Well, at least someone said "bush." Heh.

Oh the apathy.

I just cannot believe how unmotivated I am to get anything done! I have spent two hours this morning already just reading emails, reading blogs, reading celebrity gossip...you get the picture. I have a HUGE Estate Planning assignment due on Wednesday, and I'm going to be SAD tonight and tomorrow that I wasted this morning working on increasing my knowledge of what celebrity couples are having problems. I know every single 3L on the planet feels like this - although some of you are done already and I'm SO jealous of you!!

Sometimes when I think about how much time I waste I want to just cry my eyes out. And then I remember that my therapist says that time is never wasted, it's used for a reason that the universe has picked out for you that you just don't know about yet. He's so zen.

Hey Ma, look what I did!

I went to this wine store I love today to buy some wine, and there's a Target right near it. So, I decided to just walk around Target for a minute, and as I'm browsing through the women's clothing, this kid all of the sudden just barfs everywhere. Oh my God, it was so gross. Then he was SO PROUD. He kept going "Hey, I'm sick!" It was like he'd just learned to parallel park or something, "Guess what I did? Aren't I awesome?!" ICK! I almost had a sympathetic puking moment, and you've never seen anyone leave a Target that fast in your entire life!

I went and saw Mission Impossible III today. Very fast-paced, it kind of stressed me out because it had so much going on. I'm like that kid Warren in Empire Records, I need to be curbing my impulses, not magnifying them. But, I made up for it by going out for a couple of beers afterwards. So, it's all good.

Weekly Law School Roundup #18

I'm calling this the "Random quotes from 'Real Genius' because I happen to love that movie Edition" of the Weekly Law School Roundup. Special thanks to Kristine at Divine Angst for having such an awesome blogroll that helps me to find new student blogs to include in the Roundup. I love the organized people of the world...they make it possible for people like me to still produce the Roundup when we're feeling spacey and stressed out.

Always... no, no... never... forget to check your references. (Gump's Law)

He said he didn't feel like it. And I said, you'd better! And he said, or what? And I said, or else you're gonna be in trouble. And he said jam it. (I'll Be The Juddge)

Gee, Kent, and we were going to make you King of the Winter Carnival. (Cella Bellum)

You wanted to see me, Your Joggingness? (I Love The Monkeys!)

I'm just kidding. It's yet another in a long series of diversions in an attempt to avoid responsibility. (by the seat of my skirt)

Your mother puts license plates in your underwear? How do you sit? (Passionate Discourse)

I think the young people enjoy it when I "get down" verbally, don't you? (You Can't Get Arrested For Being Awesome)

Was it a dream where you were where you see yourself standing in sort of sun-god robes on a pyramid, with a thousand naked women screaming and throwing little pickles at you? (Equal Process? Due Protection?)

This? This is ice. This is what happens to water when it gets too cold. This? This is Kent. This is what happens to people when they get too sexually frustrated. (The Namby Pamby)

As always, the Roundup will be found next week at Evan Schaeffer's Legal Underground. Also, if you'd like to be the next Roundup host when I graduate and leave the law school world, drop me a line. I got a couple of emails already, and I'll be figuring this out hopefully before my next turn at this in two weeks. Thanks!

Penance

I haven't been home except pretty much just to sleep for days, and as a result, my apartment is disgusting. I mean, it looks like 20 frat guys, a donkey, 4 hookers, and 17 monkeys live here, it's just that bad. So, today I went to Target, spent $150, a huge portion of that on cleaning supplies (I LOVE to get new cleaning supplies -- it's so motivational!), and I'm going to spend the next several hours cleaning my apartment from stem to stern, as "they" say. I bet I sleep so good tonight.

It tastes like burning.

Last night at the Cinco de Mayo fiesta I attended, a couple of fun things happened.

First, I was doing a shot of tequila when Ex-Roomie's boyfriend all of the sudden goes "Last time I drank tequila I threw up in my suitcase." This caused me to sort of snort INTO my shot of tequila WHILE I was bringing it up to my face, which in turn caused it to splash up all over my face including INTO MY EYES. I have literally never had anything hurt my eyes that much. And of course, I couldn't open my eyes, AND my makeup all ran down my face from both the tequila and my tears, so one of the hosts ran and got me a paper towel with which I tried to clean up the mess. I ended up having to go to the bathroom and wash off most of my eye-makeup. But, because I'm a trooper, I still did like five more shots of tequila.

And that leads me to my next point. Here's me "Blah blah blah, yeah I'll do another shot, blah blah blah, oh hi 2L's, let me tell you about my blog!" So, I should probably welcome my new readers, whoever they might end up being since I was enjoying Cinco de Mayo enough that I'm not sure who I might have opened my big fat trap to. I think with the whole "graduation" and "moving into my new job-life and away from school-life" I have just totally stopped caring about telling people about this little project. I used to think it would be the end of the world if people read this, and now I feel like I'm just having a hard time feeling anything but total apathy towards anything related to law school, which I'm sure all the 3L's in the whole world totally understand.

At any rate, I have to go drink 10 gallons of water and try to get some homework done, because I'm not graduated yet. I'm spending tonight at my mock trial partner's house, working on that. I greatly look forward to the day when I can spend time with my friends NOT doing homework.

PS: Just as I was about to hit "Publish" a commercial came on for the "Best of Chris Isaak" CD. How does one pick the "best of" a bunch of songs that all sound the same? He did that one song with the model girl on the beach (and it's telling that all anyone remembers is the video, and that's because there were boobies), and every song they just previewed on the commercial sounds exactly like that? Since when is he famous enough to get a "best of" CD?

Penmanship COUNTS

Oh SNAP!

**Warning, many naughty words ahead**

Guy at Burger King Drive-Through: "So, yeah...you're real pretty."

Me: "Uh, thanks!"

BK: "You got a REAL nice smile! Very nice!"

Me: "Yeah, thanks...thanks!"

**Hands me my credit card receipt**

BK: "Have a great night." **Brushes hand against my hand while I return the pen and receipt**

Me *shudder*: "Thanks"

**Pull forward to second window**

New Guy: "Hey you, motherfucker! You think you're a real man? Why don't you come out here and be a real man motherfucker! Come out here and fight like a man!"

BK: "Oh yeah bitch? Look at you! Look at you! You think you're a real man? Look at how dirty you are!"

NG: "Look at my car! Do you see this Mercedes? Why don't you come out and show my your Chevy piece of shit motherfucker?!"

BK: "If I come out there I'm gonna kick your ass!"

NG: "I'm coming back for you. Count on it. I'm coming back to get you. I'll get you!"

**New Guy sticks hand out window in gun gesture...he's just NEXT to the drive through lane, but not in it**

BK: "Bring it! Come on back when you're not a huge pussy!"

God, it was surreal! I hope the Burger King guy doesn't think that guy is my boyfriend or something - he just came out of nowhere and threatened to kill the Burger King guy! It was BIZARRE!!!!

I need a lucky penny.

Today the following fantastic things happened to me:

1. I got parked in at 7-11. By the way, if you have an EFFING GEO METRO perhaps you don't want to challenge my gigantic Mercury Sable that has been in like 20 accidents so I couldn't care less if I run you down and add one more dent. The most dangerous person is one who has nothing to lose...so watch it.

2. I feel down walking into work (Ed. note...while I do actually occassionally "feel down," in this instance I actually "fell down."). Thank GOD no one saw me. And also thank GOD that I saved the Super Big Gulp from hitting the ground. As my friend pointed out, it is very telling that I messed up my brand new pants, got two skinned knees, but threw myself under my Diet Coke to ensure it didn't get messed up.

3. My button popped off my pants.

4. My high heel got stuck in a crack on the sidewalk and I almost fell down AGAIN! Once again, it was very dignified, and I'm sure no one noticed. Yeah.

5. I got yelled at by some lady I had to call for work because I wasn't doing a good job of telling her what I needed. I explained it was only my second week and she just yelled at me more. Hooker.

Despite all of this I billed over 7 hours today because I am a freaking rock star. I spent 4 hours reviewing like three years worth of this dude's medical records and making a chart of every single doctor's appointment and what happened at it, but my boss loved it so I guess it's OK that it took so long.

I am going to a Cinco de Mayo party tonight at the house of one of my favorite law school people, the guy that got the job that we were both up for a couple of months ago. I think it's going to be fun, and I fully intend to get into the spirit of Cinco de Mayo, which is, as far as I know, utter intoxication.

And oh yeah, I forgot to write about this. So, the other day on my second day of work, I fell out of my chair right in front of my boss. Like, I was sitting there and all of the sudden I just fell out on the floor and the chair fell over on top of me. She has brought it up several times, about how funny it was and how she went home and just couldn't imagine how it could have happened and thought I might be insane. Today we were talking about it again and telling the other partner, who was laughing hysterically, and then I told them about all my bad luck today. They said they're going to call me this weekend and make sure I'm still alive because I'm having such bad luck. I'm not sure "Bad Luck Girl" is the one you want working in your insurance adjustment office.

PS: I forgot to add #6, I had to unpack my new filing cabinet and I got a papercut but not PAPER, CARDBOARD! It's like the Grand Canyon of paper cuts...I probably need stiches or something.

If only I had doubts.

Tonight we had our final rowing class. In honor of it being the last day, it was terribly windy and Saturday is opening day of boating season so there were tons of motorboats out on the lake kicking up some pretty awful wakes. All of this is to say that our boat was FULL of water when we got done rowing, so when we picked it up out of the water and turned it over, it dumped about 50 gallons of water directly on my head, drenching me to the bone in the process. Ex-Roomie and I have a tradition of beer and dinner after rowing classes, and since it was our last class I didn't want to punk out, so like the trooper I am I put my work clothes back on, dried off my hair as much as I could, and went out for a couple of beers.

At the bar, our waitress was totally hitting on me. Yeah, you heard me right. Well, technically she may have been hitting on both me and Ex-Roomie, but let's just say that if I would have made the decision tonight to play for the other team, that decision could have been made to come to fruition, if you will. She was kind of cute I guess, although I have this feeling that if I was a lesbian I would go for women who were more like me, sort of girly and sparkly, but sadly I am just 100% heterosexual. In the sense that the grass is always greener and whatnot (that's for you, Mr. Anonymous Commenter, you know who you are), it seems like it would be easier to be a lesbian, although I'm sure that relationships are just as difficult no matter what your preference in terms of partners. But, when you are finally getting hit on it sucks to not be able to take someone up on it...sigh. If only I had this magic effect on men. And while looking like a drowned rat no less!

Today at work I had a conversation with my boss about how it's going to be when I come back from the bar exam and I have to start "marketing", ie: bringing in clients, and I feel anxious now. I'm not going to think about it. On Fridays I work all day, and I already know that just what's sitting on my desk left over from today is enough to keep me busy all day tomorrow -- but I'm excited. I love it there, I hope they think I'm doing a good job.

Alright, I gotta go to bed I guess. I was up until about 2:30am this morning, and now I'm exhausted. And of course there's work bright and early tomorrow. Guess I'll probably be back on Saturday as I'm going to a Cinco de Mayo party tomorrow night where I fully expect to drink too much and spend the night on Ex-Roomie's couch, eating her Costco pizza and drinking her water. This week is my turn on the Roundup, submit links if you've got 'em. And don't think I didn't get your submissions to be hosts -- I did. I've just been WAY too busy to talk to Evan about them, but never fear, it'll get done. If you didn't send me an email yet, but you'd like to take over for me in doing the Weekly Law School Roundup, don't be shy -- send it now! Evan and I will discuss it and come up with some sort of coherent plan...or, at least a plan. Or a plan to make a plan. In the future.

I'm gonna be a good mom.

I went to lunch with Ex-Roomie today...and the following conversation happened.

Me: "Yeah, you know that MAC lipstick I bought when we went to Vancouver? The one that's the perfect color?"

ER: "Yeah."

Me: "Well, today I accidentally left it in my car, and it was right in the sun and was totally melting."

ER: "That sucks!"

Me: "I know. I got all the way to school and was working on my homework when I thought about where I had left it and so I walked all the way back to the parking lot to get it."

ER: "You went all the way up there to get your lipstick?"

Me: "Um, yeah."

ER: "You REMEMBERED where your lipstick was and knew to go there to get it?"

Me: "Is that weird?"

ER: "Just think of how awesome you're gonna be when you have to keep track of something that's actually alive!"

Why are you crying? Do I beat you?

I am officially OVER working on my Estate Planning homework. I think I have messed it up at this point so much that if it was a real client I would be guilty of 17 different kinds of malpractice. Oh well, I should get an "A" for effort, seeing as how I've been doing nothing but this homework for what feels like days. I emailed my prof and asked for an extension on my written book report, hopefully she'll allow me to just do the one in class today, and turn in something later this weekend maybe.

I am sitting at my desk in my little shared office at school and every time I look around I am overwhelmed with the enormity of what I have to do before graduation. And I don't even mean school work. I mean three years of books stored in here, three years of papers, three years of Diet Coke bottles and printed out cases and little knick-knacks and discarded bluebooks. How will I ever get this all home? What will I do with it when I get it there? My number one goal for after Mock Trial is done is that I'm going to really get into all my closets and get rid of a LOT of stuff, and do some deep cleaning of things that I've been neglecting, like the cabinets under the bathroom sink and whatnot. Bringing yet more useless crap INTO the house defeats my entire plan.

I hypothetically suck as a hypothetical estate planner.

I have been working for nearly five hours on my Estate Planning homework, I still have a client "explanation letter" to do (explaining the current state of Estate tax law...boo!), and I have yet to actually produce a written book report, although I think I can do the oral report tomorrow without too much of a problem. Guess I'm gonna have to go for an extension on the written report. I just don't think it's going to happen tonight. My hypothetical Estate Planning client sucks...I'm really starting to not care if he hypothetically gets what he hypothetically wants after he hypothetically dies. What a pain in my ass.

In other news, I sent out an email today and was so anxiety ridden about the deadline that I put in the message line that it was "IRGENT." Good thought, poor execution. You know what I mean?

I wish that I was a dishonest student. Then I could put up my questions about my homework and beg for help, and at least one of you would send me some help...but then I would feel bad and it's probably/definitely against the honor code. Soooooooooooooo, I guess I'll suffer in silence. Well, semi-silence. Technically you can't hear me bitching and you have to choose to read this far, so it's kind of your own fault. That's right, this is all your fault. Well, now that we've cleared that up, I feel better. I suck as an Estate Planner but most, if not all, of the fault can be placed upon others for encouraging me by reading my rantings. Fantastic. The fact that none of the things I just wrote were logical or rational does not bother me at all because I'm exhausted, but I think they do help to explain how completely horrible the Will I'm writing is going to be.

Good to know.

Note to self:

As a brand new insurance adjuster, when you get a file on your desk to "review" that involves a guy who got his hand torn off in a machine, and there are envelopes attached to the file, and the envelopes aren't really labeled, and the envelopes MIGHT be big enough to hold...say...pictures, it might be best to just not open the envelopes. I'm just sayin'.

Lighting a fire under my ass

Nothing will light a fire under my ass faster than an email from our Trial Ad professor saying that if we don't have our pretrial orders in by noon we won't be getting judges for Mock Trial and will have to have a faculty member instead. And of course it's only half done, and I'm the only person here at school and it has to be signed by all four of us before noon....so my partner is running here from work to sign it, and the other team worked out something to get it signed, and I'm frantically typing and printing and typing and printing and trying to get everyone to agree before they sign so I can run it up there at noon.

Whew. My stomach hurts.

Also, I was supposed to be getting my Estate Planning homework done during this time period which means I'll probably have to skip rowing tonight in order to get it done. Damnit.

Big Trouble in Little China

I think the fact that part of my Estate Planning assignment that's due on Wednesday involves writing a "client letter" explaining the "state of Federal and State Estate and Gift Tax" in a manner, presumably, that is "knowledgeable" and "coherent" and "in English" is a sign that the end of the world is nigh, if you will.

I don't feel well today, and I didn't get enough done because I screwed around watching Oprah instead of working, because...well...I wasn't feeling good. I just want the next two weeks to go by so that I can get two of my four classes out of the way and have some free time again. And really free. Now I have "free" time but it always comes with a price...so, not so much.

More aspirin. Then bed. Estate Planning and BusOrgs homework can wait until the asscrack of dawn tomorrow. If I'm lucky I can spend all weekend on Trial Ad. Awesome. It's only Monday and I'm already incubating the knot in my stomach. How does everything get done? Maybe my life is proof that miracles really do happen. Not sure though if the miracle is that it gets done or that I don't spontaneously combust with stress.

Oprah stores her stress in her ass.

It's true. She just said it right on national TV. I can't make these things up.

Do you ever just know that more than anything in the whole world you want to eat some tacos for dinner? I'm going to make some. Don't try to stop me.

In other news...I have SOOOOOOOOOOOOO much Estate Planning homework to do, and I just can't force myself to do anything except watch Oprah. I need to graduate.

Being born is like being kidnapped. And then sold into slavery.

For law school, LAW SCHOOL, I am writing a book report. Yeah, you heard me right. I had to read a book for my Estate Planning class about the estate of a famous person (lots of famous rich people die and then have terrible estate issues...because, well, they have greedy relatives mostly), so I chose Andy Warhol (the title is a quote of his). His estate was, frankly, one of the biggest effing messes in the history of the free world. If you're interested in the gigantic court battle that resulted, the New York Times has some links here. I'll try to remember to put the name of the book up here tonight when I get home, I'm pretty sure it's called "Death and Destruction" which was the name of a series of prints he did of images he found of people dying -- like one was of someone jumping out a window of a building, but I couldn't find the book on Amazon so maybe I have the name wrong.

At any rate, here is where I'm going with this. The Warhol estate was a freaking mess. The people he had surrounded himself with in life made terrible decisions after he died, especially his right-hand man, Fred. Fred was the executor of the estate, and he hired a very famous (apparently) lawyer named Ed Hayes, who is quite the character, with a fedora and handmade Italian shoes and whatnot (Ed Hayes also has a book dealing partially with this called "Mouthpiece"...the second half is about the battle over the Warhol estate, so I read that too) to handle the estate.

So, both Fred and Ed (heh!) are in the position of wanting the estate to be worth as much as possible, because they are both being paid a percentage of whatever the final ruling is of the estate's value. Warhol had only left a couple of nominal cash gifts for a few people, and the rest of his money was to go into creating a foundation for the arts, and so The Warhol Foundation for the Visual Arts was established. And, when Fred hired Archibald Gillies to run it, he turned out to be rather a crook...he had the exact OPPOSITE desire in terms of valuing the estate. Under New York law, as a charitable foundation, they would have to give away 5% of the value of whatever the estate ended up being worth (since that would be the Foundation's money) every year to charitable causes. That is apparently alot of work, and this Gillies guy mostly wanted to pay himself a high salary and be involved in the New York social scene, but he wasn't so much into the work.

Anyway, to make a VERY long story short, Ed Hayes ends up having to sue to get the court to determine the value of the estate because Christie's (the auction house) was, in some way, sort of dealing fraudulently with Gillies to undervalue Warhol's possessions, much of which was his own art. The court ends up declaring the estate to be worth over $500M, of which Ed Hayes is entitled to (I think) 2.5%, but of course there are tons of appeals and everything, so it's just this really long, awful story of corruption and greed. But Ed Hayes says some VERY interesting things about all the various law firms that get involved in this case at different points. He mostly seems to think that all of them are pretty much crooks, which, when the story is told from his perspective, they certainly seem like it to the reader as well.

Both books I read painted the firm of Carter Ledyard & Milburn as just generally not having any idea what they were doing...giving bad advice, allowing business deals to happen that were, at BEST, terrible ideas, and of sending an attorney into court for the estate valuation litigation to represent the foundation who was (in at least the opinion of the author of the Death and Destruction book) a total bumbling fool.

Then, Skadden, Arps, Slate, Meagher & Flom get involved in the appeal. Here's how Hayes describes BOTH firms in his book:

"With all due respect, the lawyers involved -- the teams from Carter, Ledyard; Donovan, Leisure; and now Skadden, Arps -- are almost all seriously overweight and badly dressed men whose suits are either too tight or too baggy and whose shirts have bad collars and are awful. They wear tasteless, often florid ties, the kind guys think make them look cool. Their shoes are terrible -- either those clunky wingtips or tiny little Italian slippers that no man should ever wear. Many of them are good lawyers, but they are not graceful people. Aside from the lack of grace, I have nothing against any of these lawyers and no real personal feelings about any of them, except that they stood by (and billed) while their clients tried to mislead the court and the public."

In terms of Skadden, Hayes says:

"Despite the outcome in Surrogat's Court, Carter, Ledyard is still billing away -- though now Skadden, Arps, Slate, Meagher, and Flom is in charge, a firm that is among the most powerful and expensive in the country and, as I am about to discover, is staffed by some of the most obnoxious motherfuckers in the world."

Here's how describes Skadden's approach to case management:

"Deny everything, make counteraccusations, smear your opponent: Skadden's approach to my request for fees is the same approach it later takes against Monica Lewinsky and Paula Jones when Bill Clinton hires the firm to represent him against charges of sexual harassment. Look at Skadden's conduct in the case against Clinton: it had nothing to do either with resolving the matter or with finding the trust; it had to do with the simple, crude fact that the firm had more money and more power and was going to run over and destroy its client's adversaries."

So yeah, I think it's fair to say that Hayes has a healthy...ummm...distrust (?), dislike (?) of Skadden. He's sort of a anti-establishment kind of guy and his book is an easy read (in the sense that it went fast...he is VERY into himself and his abilities as an attorney and it reads a little bit like a memoir of someone who THINKS he's very interesting, but is really kind of a blowhard). I don't know if I would have read it if I didn't need the portion on the Warhol estate for my book report, because generally lawyer books aren't that thrilling to me, but he's pretty colorful. I probably wouldn't buy either book since generally this isn't the kind of stuff I would read on my own, but Warhol was an interesting guy and the Death and Destruction book has quite a few little tidbits about his eccentricities that are interesting. Like, he was OBSESSED with material possessions. He had grown up poor and was terrified of not having things. So, when he died, they went to his five story townhouse and there was room after room stuffed with bags and boxes of things he had bought and hadn't ever even opened. Warhol had a canopy over his bed, and on top of the canopy he would toss jewelry and watches, apparently just so he could be surrounded constantly by his wealth and proof that he had...you know...stuff.

Anyway, I actually have no idea why I started writing about this, but I'm glad I did since it gives me a headstart on my book report. I guess I just thought you'd all like to know that I'm on top of my Andy Warhol trivia right now, and I'm learning alot about estate planning when you've got $500M, which will clearly be useful to me any day now. Yeah.

I'm still considering whether it might be funny to make a shoebox diorama of the whole thing -- if only I had the time. I used to love to make the diorama, it was my favorite kind of book report.

Teriffic. I'm about to get killed a million miles from nowhere with a gung-ho iguana who tells me to relax.

People are always commenting to me how I'm so "energetic" or about how I always seem so "busy" and always seem to be "running everywhere." And, to a certain extent I am very busy, mostly just because I have a million different things going on, and none of them are in the same place, so I spend alot of time just trying to get my shit together. I mean, I don't actually seem to get that much done sometimes, but I do feel stressed out alot because I feel like I'm always supposed to be somewhere, doing something, and usually there are twenty other things that aren't getting done at all.

Anyway, all this is to say that I do have quite a bit of energy and am fairly intense. I wish I had more time to go to the gym and whatnot, because I desperately would love to channel some of that energy into getting into better shape, but I guess that'll happen in due time. But, I never think of myself as particularly energetic or driven until other people point it out to me. I spend quite a bit of time watching TV, or hanging out with my friends drinking beer, so I get enough downtime that I rarely feel like I'm so busy I'm totally missing out on life. If no one said to me "God, you have so much energy, I don't know how you do it all," it would never occur to me to think about it.

And since I rarely think about it, except to complain, I don't often think about where it comes from. I mean, my mom is a BIG FAN of the "You're exactly like your father" line of thinking, but since I spent most of my life having a fairly contentious relationship with him, that was never my favorite theory. It's unmistakeable however that I'm not like my mom, but I wish, wish, wish I was. She's so calm and easy to deal with. My dad is intense, driven, a perfectionist, demanding, stubborn, persistent, intelligent, funny, moody, tireless, aggressive, intimidating, and principled. So yeah, in alot of ways, you could say there MIGHT be one particular side of the family I seem to take after a little bit more.

Today I called my dad because I forgot his birthday on Tuesday and they've been out of town all weekend, so they just got home tonight. They were in Chico, CA. There my dad rode the Chico Wildflower Century, a 100 mile bike race that he rides every year, because he is amazing. Daddy Spatula turned 58 this week. On his birthday, last Tuesday, he rode 58 miles to celebrate. This morning he rode 100 miles, because he can. Conditions were less than optimal this year, and they rode the last thirty miles INTO a 25-mile an hour headwind. And yet, he finished it. And did very, very well. Because, well...he can. My mom rode the 35 mile race, but quit after 22 because the wind was too strong. She's the smart one in the family, she knows when to quit. My dad and I both have a hard time with that one, we're like bulldogs with lockjaw. Energetic bulldogs though. And intimidating. Both of us. I guess you never can escape your genetic destiny...or, maybe this is final proof of nurture over nature. Probably it's both, and isn't that the worst? I'm blessed and doomed, all at the same time. This is sure proof that I'm not going to quit hearing "You're so intimidating" anytime soon.

Room to breathe.

For the first time in DAYS, I actually have a couple of minutes to sit down and write a bit of an update.

What have I been up to? Well, first and foremost, I started the new job -- which is AWESOME! The people I work with are fantastic, and so far everything is going really well. They do billable hours which are a challenge to get used to after a lifetime of government work...but, I'm getting there. I'll try to figure out how much I want to talk about work soon and then maybe I'll describe more about what I'm doing. But, right now, it's mostly just record review and taking some witness statements and things like that. AND, they payed me on Friday for my first three days of work by cutting me a check on the spot instead of making me wait until the end of the next pay period when my direct deposit would be in place. YAY!

The other thing I've been doing is shopping. Alot. Yesterday I shopped all day and got a bunch of new work clothes, and this morning I already bought some accessories. I realized this week that I had NO work clothes, and what I'd been wearing while working downtown at the Government Agency was just not going to work at the new place. So, I hit Macy's and Ann Taylor Loft, and a couple of other places, and found some good sales...even though I spent about twice as much as I had originally budgeted, I really did need to get some basic things, like slacks and short-sleeve sweaters that I can wear all summer. So, it's all good. I probably won't be saying that when I have to pay bills next week though and I'm wondering why I have no money.

And...everything else. I had recently been on a fourth date with this guy that I kind of liked, but now he hasn't called for several days, so I think maybe he's out of the picture. Oh well. I want to care, but I'm too busy -- and frankly, he was a big-time "I'll call you" and then not calling kind of guy, which drives me NUTS. So, no biggie I guess.

I also had this idea that I was going to spring clean this weekend, and then the weather changed and it's freezing cold and raining, so all I want to do is lay around and watch TV. Where is my motivation?

Basically, I have two more weeks of hellish busy-ness left, and then Mock Trial will be over, and my Estate Planning class ends early that same week, so if I can just make it through mid-May, I think it'll start to be manageable. I am only getting to the gym like once a week right now, and I definitely want to do better than that. I also have to start planning for bar review -- like, I have to join a gym since we won't be able to use the school one anymore. God, just writing all of this makes me tired. Maybe a nap is in order.

It's MIDNIGHT

WOOOOO!!! I've been to THREE BARS tonight, all with good beer! I spent ALOT of money today buying some work clothes and also buying some very cute Puma's and also getting drunk. YAY! I'll try to update tomorrow when I'm sober...my God, things have been crazy lately! Back tomorrow with an update, I promise.

I suck.

I am so busy I forgot Daddy Spatula's birthday on Tuesday. Damnit. I am officially the worst kid ever -- especially considering what they're giving me for graduation. God. In other news, I'm swamped, and tomorrow I have to work all day then I'm going out with some friends, so I'll likely be back to blogging on Saturday and I'll try to write a nice long update to everything going on. It's been NUTS!

I got a desk today in my new office. AND a Kleenex box...AND highlighters. Oh hell yeah, I'm a lucky girl! :)

FYI

I thought you'd all like to know, I'm buying these shoes.

The earth moved. The angels wept. The Polaroids are...uhhhh...in my other coat.

OK...yesterday was freaking insane, so I didn't get a chance to post. Here's some brief updates because I still have to make up three days worth of BusOrgs reading, get ready for Mock Trial pre-trial motion oral arguments tonight, and fill out a bunch of paperwork. And pick up graduation tickets. Sigh.

First, work. I started my new job yesterday and it was awesome. They are so nice and had all my stuff ready for me. I feel like this is going to be such a great opportunity for me and right now at least I feel as though I made a good decision taking this job. More on job stuff later.

Second, school. See above. I am swamped and don't see any way out anytime soon. In mid-May two of my classes will end and that will finally allow me some breathing room, but until then I feel frantic and anxiety ridden. Well, that's how I feel right now anyway.

Third, graduation. I have to pick up tickets today, and someone nominated me to be graduation speaker and I've apparently gotten more than one vote. What would be funny is if the one person most critical of the entire law school experience was the graduation speaker. What would be even funnier would be how many Law Students (notice the capital letters) would be SO OFFENDED by the choice of me. Heh.

Fourth, boys. What the f*ck is wrong with men? Here's the thing...the one thing that indicates most readily that you are NOT the least bit interested in me is to say "I will call you on Monday night at 6pm" or some other equally narrow statement of intent, and then not do it. I fully understand people are busy. People have obligations. But, here's the thing. *I* am busy. *I* have obligations. And yet, I find that at least 20 times during every day, while I'm driving, or between classes, or whenever, I have at least two or three minutes where, at the very least, I can call someone I am supposed to call if only to say "I am so busy today, why don't I just give you call sometime later this week when things slow down?" Common courtesy people, common courtesy. I don't know why, but this is my #1, ultimate, top-of-the-list, pet peeve. I feel like the inability to follow through on little things is an indicator of what's to come when I need someone to be able to follow through on big things. Harsh? Yes. Too bad.

Fifth, work. I love my new job.

Sixth, blogging. I anticipate the next two days being insane, and Friday I have to work all day, so I'll likely be around but probably won't post anything too significant until Saturday...unless I get stood up tonight, and then I'll probably be back again to harp some more on Point #4.

Seventh, internet. My wireless at home is down and I have no freaking idea why or how to fix it. So, I don't know what to do about that, but I don't think I have time to deal with it until this weekend...oh well.

Gee Wally!

This beaver is reluctant (you can play the video right to the right of the story). Heh.

Why is this so funny? I have no idea, but honestly, it cracks me right the hell up. Sadly, the beaver ended up dying later, but that doesn't negate the funniness of the video or the fact that when I saw this story on Inside Edition tonight the anchor used the word "beaver" in no less than five completely inappropriate ways. YAY!

Here's the story with the unedited video. God, so funny.

Here's the little guy...I'm pouring some beer out for him right now because...well shit...look at his ugly mug -- he rocks!


UPDATE: Regular reader and commenter McMonkey took this picture on a bike ride recently and sent it to me as it is CLEARLY meant to be included with this story. Thanks McMonkey!!

Are you doing something sexual?

Today my friend B. was about to sit down with me and our other friend and she noticed that there was a spider on the wall that we were sitting against (it's sunny here today, so we were outside). So, she takes her super-pointy black high heel and, balancing perfectly on the other high heel like the gymnast that she is, she daintily smooshes the spider, wipes her shoe off on the grass, and sits down.

Me: "If I had, like, a shoe fetish or something, that would have been the hottest thing I'd ever seen."

Everyone else: *laughs*

Then we talked about foot fetishes for awhile...I've only dated one guy who I thought had a bit of a foot fetish -- and one who MIGHT have had something going on but I'm not sure. What about you guys? Who's dated someone with a foot fetish?

Were these magic grits? Did you buy them from the same guy who sold Jack his beanstalk beans?

On the way to school today I saw that someone had written "Mr. Condecending" in the dirt on the back of some guy's car. And literally the first thing I thought was "I tend to be condescending to people who can't spell too."

In other news, what the hell am I going to do with this blog? I mean, I'm graduating in June, I've taken a job that will be only marginally law related, and frankly, at this point, I have nothing nice to say about law school OR my personal legal education OR what's left of my legal education, so why bother rehashing all my complaints ad infinitum in my blog? I mean, have we all gotten the picture that I think legal education, the way it's currently set up, is, at best, of marginal utility? Do I really need to keep beating that dead horse? Yeah, I don't think so either.

Should I make this a dating blog? Basically I could just fill it up with blank posts interspersed with long, navel-gazing diatribes about why men never call back and why they insist on breaking up with me two days before Valentine's Day. I would write about it, but give me a fucking break...who's surprised at this point that men can be insensitive and idiotic? Who's surprised that those are the type of men who love me? No one...no one. Yeah, that's what I thought.

I could change the whole tenor of this blog - start writing more about my new job and whatnot, but I mean, I'm just starting so it will either be (a) totally boring, or (b) stuff I can't/won't write about. And I don't generally write about my friends and friendships too much on here except for funny stuff because I love and respect them too much to put their business up on the internet (which makes me wonder why I don't love myself enough to not put my stuff up on the internet...hmmmmm....).

I could start a new blog. With my real name, and a picture, and tell all the fun details of my life (should there ever be any). But, of course, myspace is more for the kids...not boring 31 year old pseudo-lawyers.

So, what do I do about this blog? Where do I go with it? I'd like to keep writing but I feel frustrated at the thought that I am kind of backed into a corner here...my whole readership is lawyers and law students and eventually that will go away as I get further and further from writing about law school or lawyer-dom.

This is what I'm thinking about lately.

Weekly Law School Roundup #16

Here we go...let's call this the "All Links Sent To Me Because I'm Too Busy To Actually Read A Blog These Days" edition. Thanks guys!!

AmbImb sent in the following links two links:

Magic Cookie on the imbecility of legal casebooks.

Life, Law, Gender is two years old!! YAY Denise!!

And AmbImb himself notes a new blawg on the block that takes a lighter look at the practice of law.

Asian Provocateur notes that her bar application is actually the Bar Applicaton of Death. I empathize completely considering I finished mine today (almost...just need to get it notarized).

Lyco of Phocas and Francis breaks up with the federal courts...and says it's long overdue.

Dueling "best opinion ever's" from Legally Blonde and The Namby Pamby.

Outlines are people too over at You Can't Get Arrested for Being Awesome.

Look for the next installment of the Weekly Law School Roundup at Evan Schaeffer's Legal Underground next week.

AND, in perhaps the most exciting bit of news to ever cross your hot little computer screens, I am officially announcing that I'm seeking my replacement for posting the Weekly Law School Roundup. Given my impending graduation, and the fact that I'm not going to be an actual lawyer, and the ultimate fact that I'm really not sure WHAT I'm going to do with the direction of this blog, I need someone to take over this feature -- in conjunction with Evan of course. If you're interested in doing this, and can seriously COMMIT to making it happen every other week (although it's somewhat flexible...like tonight), and you're a current 1L or 2L and think you'll want to continue working on it until you graduate (best case scenario), drop me a line and let me know. Thanks!!

Woo Hoo!

OK, I'm back...but no Roundup until tonight or tomorrow as I just got in and am still doing homework and trying to unpack and whatnot. BUT, listen to this!

I got my official offer letter from my new job in the mail. YAY!

- Salary + bonuses

- 2 weeks paid vacation which begins accruing immediately

- They pay 100% of medical and dental

- 401k with contributions from them (not sure how much yet though)

- They pay for my membership in the bar, for my Insurance Adjusters exam, and for all my CLE's to maintain both licenses

- They pay for my membership in any professional association I want to join related to (a) legal stuff, (b) insurance stuff, and/or (c) maritime stuff

- 5 days of sick leave a year

- Hourly pay from now until May 31st, time off for the bar from May 31 to July 31, start back to work full-time in August with the whole salary/bonus thing

I'm so excited!!! I start on Tuesday, I'll be working 3 days a week from now until May 31st. YAY!!!!

You're laborers...you should be laboring!

Hello...it's me, E. Spat. I am still alive, although I just haven't had even one second to post anything since I've been here. My parents are keeping me pretty busy, and I've been watching a lot of shows that they've been recording for me on TiVO for the past few months...so, as you can imagine, I'm pretty tapped out energy-wise by the end of the day, what with the sitting, and the eating, and the...uh...sitting.

Anyway, my mom is having a dinner party tonight so I'm acting as her official slave labor for the day. First, clean the carpets. Then dust. Vacuum, put groceries away, brush the dog, wash the car...it's a tough life. I am planning on doing homework while their friends are here tonight though, gosh, isn't being a law student the best? There's nothing that says "I'm a fun, well-balanced, interesting person" like reading Bus Orgs in the other room while everyone else drinks wine and eats good food. Fantastic.

Thanks to everyone who have sent in links for the Roundup tomorrow. I'll be leaving here in the morning to drive home -- so it will likely be up late tomorrow night or perhaps on Monday, we'll just have to see how I'm feeling and how much homework needs to get done. If you haven't sent a link yet but want to, well, there's no time like the present. Get busy.

On the road again....

Alright, I'm outta here for a few days -- headed down to my parent's house. I would love to say it's all about rest and relaxation, but with a couple of huge assignments looming over me, Mock Trial only a couple of weeks away, and pre-trial motion oral arguments next week...it's definitely going to be fun mixed with work. On the upside, my mom is taking me to Costco. I'm already trying to think of things I might need, even if it's in, like, a year from now. Might as well take advantage while I have a sugar-momma!

Anyway, I'm sure I'll be posting while I'm down there, but maybe less than usual. Also, I am in charge of the Roundup on Sunday, but I can already say it will be put up late - maybe very late - just depending on when I get home on Sunday. In the meantime, send links if you've got 'em, and thanks especially go out to the people who have already sent a couple.

Good to know.

Me: "Oh my God, that guy is so hot."

Guys in office: "Really?"

Me: "Yeah, he's in my Top 3 hottest guys in Law School."

Guys in office: "Seriously?"

Me: "Totally! That's what girls do when we get drunk, we rate all the guys we know at school numerically in the order we'd want to sleep with them."

Guys in office: "Weird. That's what guys do when we're sober."

Strokin' to the east, strokin' to the west....

Tonight at rowing class I was stroke. EVERYONE commented about my FANTASTIC natural rhythm. I'd like to say that my rhythmic stroke (heh) is natural, but it's not...let's all take a moment to thank the U.S. Air Force for forcing me to march around while getting yelled at, and frankly, yelling at other people. Good for the soul, and good for the rowing. Apparently.

Other than that, I'm busy as always. Gonna go read some Bus Orgs and consider working on my stupid closing statement for Trial Ad tomorrow night. My VERY LAST Trial Ad small section EVER! YAY!

Just Because: LL Cool J

Hot DAMN people...I haven't had a JB Boy up here in awhile, but I saw this pic over at Martinis, Persistence, and A Smile and I couldn't resist.

I like to play with things a while before annihilation.

I am so tired. I need to get back into a normal sleep schedule, and soon, or it's going to singularly ugly.

I just went out to Mexican food and raspberry mojitos with my friend and now I am sitting here thinking about all the stupid homework I have, the motivation that I DON'T have, and how incredibly tired I am. I'm going home on Thursday for the weekend, so perhaps I'll get tons of sleep there and feel all happy and healthy by Sunday night. One can hope.

I can honestly say that I will be so thrilled when Mock Trial is over in a couple of weeks...I think that it's what's keeping me from sleeping well. I have this terrible fear that I will never master the issues, never understand Evidence, and embarass myself and my partner in front of a fake jury and a real judge. What a pain in the ass.

Guess I better get my nose back to the grindstone of I won't be able to GO to bed tonight, let alone worry about whether I can sleep.

)(*#%Y&*#$*)@$*@)$!

I ran into the bar thing on the bottom of my spinning bike this afternoon and knocked a pretty good sized hole in the bottom of my foot. Aside from the gushing blood, and the fact that it hurts like a mother-you-know-what-er, and the whole "this is an area a band-aid will never stay on" thing, I think I'll be OK. If I don't get gangrene or something. God. It hurts real bad. I might have to tape it up with gauze for a few days just to be able to walk on it...what fun would a Sunday be without a gaping wound characterized by copious blood loss and blinding pain?

Zoom zoom.

I went out with a friend last night and he got a little...well...intoxicated. I was (for once) relatively sober, so he asked me to drive his car to the next place we were going, and I greedily said "OK" because it's so much awesome-er than my Mercury Sable. It's some kind of little Audi thing and honestly, it goes REAL fast. YAY!

Also, you know you're making a good impression when you meet some new people and, in the course of trying to tell a story you say "God, I mean, that guy went to...like...the University of Phoenix or something...it was pathetic!" And then EVERYONE starts dying laughing except one person, yeah, that's right, the person that you just met five minutes ago and who went to the University of Phoenix. Open mouth, insert BOTH feet. Thank goodness the guy had been in the Air Force so at least I was able to smooth it over a little bit later and talk to him about that and prove I wasn't a TOTAL bitch. I swear, sometimes I just don't think. And honestly, the place I got my Master's Degree is no pinnacle of higher education, so I really meant it with great affection -- but it was a very awkward moment for me. Well, for everyone I think.

I have to sit down and force myself to write a trust agreement for my estate planning class today -- boo hoo.

D'oh!

This morning at rowing class our coach (very hot, and very gay) threw his jacket into the corner to get it out of the way, at which time his cell phone came out of his jacket pocket and landed on the floor, and THEN while trying to pick it up he accidentally kicked it across the floor. Into the water. And THEN he goes "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!" It was so funny! All 38 of us snapped our heads around in unison, which was, to be totally honest, the first time we had managed to do anything in unison in three classes.

It's interesting that the person who sits in the front seat is supposed to set the rhythm for the rest of the rowers, and NO MATTER WHAT, our coach ALWAYS picks the person who has The. Worst. Sense. Of. Rhythm. EVER. Oh my god...it's sad. I always thought I had pretty bad rhythm, but holy crap, these people SUCK. Course, I haven't had to do it yet, so I might change my tune in the very near future. It must be so funny for people to watch us trying to get our shit together. Our coach will go "everyone put your oar in the water" and at least one person will pop it up out of the water. He'll say "all the starboards raise your hand" and three starboards and five ports and sometimes whoever is sitting in the coxswain seat will ALL raise their hands. It's just really sad.

More about the job.

Some people requested more information about the job. Since I'm NOT going to be a lawyer, I guess it's OK if I post a bit more information about the job.

I am going to be a Maritime Insurance Adjuster. I'm assuming most of you know what an insurance adjuster does, and I'll be doing that, only for maritime accidents. So, I get to do lots of cool stuff having to do with maritime issues and investigations, and deal with lots of cool people (and probably some that will not be so cool), and hopefully do a lot of traveling between here and Alaska to talk to clients and look at maritime accident sites and what have you. I LOVED Admiralty Law, and I really enjoy dealing with people and talking to them and hearing their stories. The people at the company are super nice and awesome, and the money is adequate, if not perfect. I'll be working right on the water here, across from the Fisherman's Terminal (which is where all of our clients are), and I'll also get to do a lot of industry stuff here in town...this is (obviously) a HUGE maritime city...so that's good too.

I really think this job is a good blend of my personality, my skills and abilities and experience, and will allow me to use my legal education without actually having to BE a lawyer, which I'm totally alright with. So, anyway, that's kind of the basics of what I'm going to be doing.

The owner of the company is a lawyer, as is her husband. So, I will be taking the bar, and she'll be giving me time off to do that. I'll start working in two weeks, part-time until graduation, then taking time off through the bar, then full-time in mid-August probably. The owner is VERY into having a lawyer work there, and I'm into getting to deal with all the admiralty lawyers in town - if I DO decide to be a "real" lawyer one day, I think that is the area I'd like to go into - so that should be somewhat helpful. Maybe.

At any rate, I'm happy with my decision to pursue a non-traditional job, and I feel a great sense of relief at not having to go work in a firm or whatever...I can't deal with that right now. As it stands, I'm waiting for my formal written offer so that I can finalize all this stuff and be really secure in it. Ever the pessimist, I'm still kind of waiting for the other shoe to drop...sigh.

Why am I up?

For the first time in three years I literally have almost nothing to worry about, or at least nothing huge, and I CANNOT sleep. What the hell??

I'm laying on the couch hoping sleep will come. I'm so tired!

I do need to write my boss (the solo practitioner I've been contracting for) and tell him I'm quitting -- I feel so bad that I've only been working for two weeks, but oh well. I have a friend that is interested in the job and is much more qualified than me, so maybe that will work out. Either way, the Permanent Job wants me to start in a week part-time until graduation, and they're paying more, so that's a fairly easy decision.

I'm writing up a little post about what I'll be doing in my new job because I noticed a lot of people commented they wanted to know, I'll try to post that later. Right now, back to sleep. I hope.

Final Update...I took a job

I took the job here. It was offered, the money was good, and it felt like the right decision. I'm excited and a little nervous about bucking the trend and leaving law school to enter a totally different field. But, GO ME!!!! I'm going out drinking!

More job update stuff...

So, today I went down to my old Government Agency job to get my supervisor to sign off on my "she's a good person" form for my bar application. As most regular readers know, I LOVED my job and wanted so badly for them to hire me, and I kept hearing "we're trying, but there's no money." Today, my supervisor tells me "I think we're almost there. I think it might happen really soon." The problem is, the job is in San Francisco (this isn't a problem really, it would just be moving away from here where I've finally started to establish a life with friends and stuff - even though I hate it here sometimes), and of course it's no money because it's a government job. BUT, I know I would love it. Or at least I'm relatively certain. There hasn't been any offer at all, but apparently it's out there as a possibility (maybe even a probability).

We spent some time chit-chatting and catching up, and I asked him off-hand if the job I interviewed for on Tuesday had called him for a reference yet, and he said "No." Then it was awkward because I told him how excited I was, but that I was really torn now that he had told me there might be a potential place for me in the Government Agency. I left, and when I got back to school, I already had an email from him.

The email said that the job here had just called for a reference and said "We're going to hire E. Spat, and we need a reference." Not "we're thinking about it" but "we're going to." This is, of course, great news in many senses. I LOVE this job. I wouldn't have to move. I wouldn't have to go to a firm. But, now that I know there is a potential to go to Government Agency, I'm really torn. I mean, neither one has offered me anything to speak of, but if they were both to offer, I would really be hard pressed to make a decision.

I kind of don't want to move, and I kind of don't want to get stuck in the government (bureaucracy, etc.). BUT, I LOVED my job there, it was fun and interesting, and I got to do lots of cool stuff -- it was probably the closest I would ever get to being a lawyer but maintaining my coolness. :) The job here on the other hand, is here. No moving. And I really think I would like it, BUT I am worried about the money. If they started me at the top end of their scale, it would be workable, but I just don't think I could live at the bottom end. Of course, I can't live on what the Government Agency would pay me in San Francisco either.

You know, a month ago I would have killed to be in this dilemma, but I just don't know what I would do if both of these actually came through. Right now it's a bit of non-issue since nobody has done anything even remotely formal to my face that would indicate they are (a) willing to give me a job, and (b) willing to pay me enough to do it so that I can live and pay my student loans.

Guess we'll see what happens, but this is an interesting, if unforeseen, development.

My sister wears too much eye makeup. People think she's a whore.

Trial Ad Instructor: "Lawyers are just so tight all the time. In fact, they don't let loose people into law school!"

Me (totally deadpan): "My mom will be happy to hear that."

Everyone else: BAHAHAHAHAHA

Job Update...

OK...here's the update.

The Job emailed this morning to tell me the interview went "very well" and that they needed some references and that they would contacting me "very soon." Sounds promising, no?

I continue to wait, I'll update when and if I get more information -- I guess I'm expecting to hear back in the next few days. If I don't get this job, and I'm at the references stage, I'm going to have a whole new insight into why I'm not getting hired...maybe one of my references is secretly hating on me or something.

Waiting blows

It's been approximately 9 hours since my interview and I'm already sick of waiting for them to make a decision. I feel like my every interview I have SEEMS to go well, and I NEVER get hired...and the absolute worst part of the entire thing is the stupid waiting. I already sent an email to the initial recruiter thanking her for all her help and time and re-expressing my interest in the position, and tomorrow I'll follow up with personal notes to the two owners I spoke with today. Sigh. If I don't get this I'm going to give it up for awhile, I just don't know how much more rejection I can take. I'll keep you all updated...right now...w-a-i-t-i-n-g.

Interview Update

OK, I'm back from The Interview.

It went well (I think). I'm reluctant to say too much and potentially jinx it, but I guess if it's meant to be, it will be, and if not, then not...so it probably doesn't hurt.

For everyone who knows or has met me in person -- what do you think about an interview for a position where the number one skill they are looking for is "being a people person" and "being able to talk to people"? Is that me? Yeah, I think so too.

They were appropriately awed by all my wonderful traits and skills and abilities (not really, but in my head they were), and much of my work experience before law school is directly relateable to what they do...so now we just wait and see I guess.

On the upside, a non-legal job makes decisions much more quickly, so at least I should know yes or no "within the next couple of weeks" after the finish all the interviews. Also on the upside, it was fun to be in a non-legal interview again - where people like that you're energetic and funny and personable and aren't looking for a boring automaton.

A big day!

Today I finally have an actual interview. Even if I don't get a job out of this, I feel validated that someone likes me enough to have me awkwardly dress up in a suit that looks like it belongs on someone else (I am NOT a suit person) and come on down there to be quizzed and queried on whatever this place finds important and compelling. I like them, but there's A LOT I don't know about the job (including salary--can anyone say DEBT LOAD!), so I'm trying to not wear rose-colored glasses just because they're throwing me an interview bone.

I'm sure you'll all be hearing how it went - unless it goes terribly in which case I'll be face first in a bucket of Ben and Jerry's by 3pm. Also, I start rowing class tonight...YAY!

Mars. Needs. Women.

OK, I need help. Somehow I managed to make my bottom toolbar thingie (with the "start" button on it, and all my little icons) go to the side and be vertical, instead of horizontal. NOTHING I have done has fixed it and I have no idea what to do to make it go back. I have tried right clicking and choosing all the different options, I've tried to restart my computer...I'm going insane with everything over there on the side and not where it's supposed to be. HELP!

UPDATE: Fixed. Thanks! I was going stark raving lunatic-al!

You're not shy. You're a lawyer.

As it turns out, according to my MPRE results, I'm ethical in every jurisdiction. YAY!

Lucky winner

In another 54 people, my site meter will go past 200,000. WEIRD! If you're visitor 200,000 let me know...I'll have to think of an appropriate gift or something. I seriously can't believe it - my two year "blog-i-versary" is on the 15th too I think. Also my Bar/Bri tuition is due on the 15th. Sigh...it's like I can't escape for even a moment...it follows me.

Weekly Law School Roundup #14

(Wasting Time) That guy. The guy with a question right after the professor says she's letting you all out early...God I hate that guy.

(Asian Provocateur) AP informs us that the First Comprehensive Conference on Blog Law & Blogging for Lawyers will be later this month in San Francisco. Cool.

(By The Seat Of My Skirt) I don't have a pithy comment for this -- but I had trouble sleeping this week and I looked EXACTLY the same way!

(Moonlighting in Misery) The person being described clearly went to the Energy Spatula School of Conducting Voir Dire.

(Naked Drinking Coffee) First off, I'm SUPER happy that NDC is posting a little more regularly, cuz I loves that guy. Second, I am so jealous of his drawing -- how come I never get cool drawings from my throngs of adoring fans? Note to self: somehow secure throngs of adoring fans. Who draw. (PS: As I was writing this the song "I'm In Love With A Stripper" came on...coincidence? I seriously doubt it.)

(Negligent Use of a Dangerous Mind) A wordy plea to be more concise.

(Tortcaesar) RUN future 1L's...while you still can!

(Mother In Law) Unless you're a parent heading to law school...then read this post with tons of great advice!

(Malice Aforethought) The Farter. Whoa.

Check out Evan Schaeffer's Legal Underground for the Roundup next week.

I know, I'm late.

I know I'm supposed to be having the Roundup all posted by now, but I have to just finish the motion I have due tomorrow, the client letter (also due tomorrow) that is super long and complex that I am writing for my Estate Planning Workshop, and my stupid project for work. So, I'll probably work on it tonight, which means if you've got any links or want to nominate yourself, go ahead and drop me a line between now and later this afternoon.

I may be drunk...

In fact, I am definitely drunk. However, tonight at the diviest of all dive bars I saw a man take off his fake arm and place it on the bar. Really.

How?

For the love of sweet little Baby Jesus, how do ex-boyfriends know to call just at the exact moment you would LEAST like to hear from them? And how come they always manage to be calling from some place weird that you don't have in your cell phone so you don't recognize the number and you end up picking up and getting into a whole long conversation? It must be something they teach in man-school.

If I ever find out the mathematical formula for how the relationship between suitability and attraction is totally inversely proportional, I'm going to be the Einstein of Dating. Oh, you have a dead end job? You barely made it through high school? You resent people who are more educated than you because you think they're all entitled, pretentious, assholes? You have (or have had in the past) problems with drugs/alcohol/other addictions/sexual deviancy/farm animals/your mother/axe murdering/insatiable lust for root vegetables? You have a criminal record (doesn't have to be big and impressive like serial rape, I also do license suspensions, restraining orders, DUI's, and even garden variety petty larceny)?** Well God, come on over and get to know me, I'll overlook it all, date you, and then you can randomly call me every time I start to feel better off without you and make me miss, if not you, the...uh..."companionship" you provided. You big old bastard.

**Consider this to be an amalgamation of traits of all my terrible boyfriends, not to be confused with all being present in the ex, although....

Why do I do this to myself?

You know, honestly, if I have (because I'm forced you know) to watch one more movie where the teenage girl is a raving lunatic bitch to her old pal so that she can win the love of a hunky jock only to realize the pal is the one she really wants and the pal takes her back at the very end even though she's done nothing but abuse him and make his life a living hell for months, I'm going to stone-cold freak out. No lie.

Sure, you might say I could just "turn off the TV" or "watch something else," but you'd be wrong about that, because I am apparently physically unable to stop watching teenage angst movies even though I'm actually 31 years old. Geez.

I'm so excited for my big interview on Tuesday -- I feel like those kids in those stupid Disney commercials, "I'm TOOOOOO excited!" I'm not sure how it will go, and I'm scared to get my hopes up, but I can't help it because I haven't had an interview in MONTHS so it just seems hard to stay objective. I'm plotting my outfit and my makeup and everything, and I just want the weekend to be over so I can get in there and meet them and find out about the job -- foremost "how long is this hiring process going to take?" I can't take another three month decision (not) making process -- that was insane and wasted a lot of my time for a job I ultimately didn't get. No more of that nonsense.

Did I mention this place is mere BLOCKS from my favorite bar? Home of the 34 oz beer? HELL YES!

PS: Because I do nothing but watch cheeseball movies on ABC Family, I want to give a shout-out to my good pal B., because I saw a preview for this movie today and I IMMEDIATELY wanted to make sure we get together and watch it and get drunk or something -- she'll know why.

I've been going to this high school for seven and a half years. I'm no dummy.

I officially HATE writing motions...God. I'm writing one for Trial Advocacy and it's not even a hard issue, it's just so boring. I also have to write something this weekend for my Estate Planning Workshop, plus make up tons of reading in my other two classes. What happened to the easy, relaxing, low-stress last quarter of my last year of law school that I had envisioned lo these past three years?? WHERE DID IT GO?

I need to go to the gym, but it's cold and raining...granted, it's not cold and raining IN the gym, but I don't want to leave the house to get TO the gym. What? I'm not lazy!

I want my easy last quarter of law school that I had in my dreams back...it's not fair that it got ripped away from me before I had a real chance to embrace and experience it.

File Under "N" for NOT USEFUL AT ALL

Career Services sent us an email today inviting students to a law firm reception.

This is not unusual in most schools I know, but here, it is.

A) We have had MAYBE two law firm receptions in the three years I've been here that have been open to all students. Normally if they have one it's only for one special class of student and 90% of the student body (or more) is shut out due to not being a part of whatever the special class is.

B) This city has MANY big law firms, and still, only two receptions in three years. Maybe. We are a first tier law school, the only one in a 5-state radius, and we still (apparently) can't get firms in here to recruit directly or even host informational receptions/meet-and-greets.

C) The law firm reception that was being advertised to us today is in Florida. Yes. You heard me right, Florida. In other words, to attend it, one must GO TO EFFING FLORIDA. While it would be nice to have the resources to jet off to Miami for a law firm reception, perhaps we could start with having one...say...HERE!?

D) As always, I continue to be perplexed, befuddled, bewildered, and flabbergasted at the complete inability of our Career Services Office to actually help us.

I have to say, they are getting better...sort of. And they are always nice to me, and they try to be helpful, but I think the example above perfectly illustrates my frustrations. Don't give me resources I absolutely can't use, or that are only helpful for 3 people. Give me something that will help ME to find a job that I will, if not love, be able to tolerate without climbing up on a bell tower somewhere. OK?

Take THAT!

My friend suggested today that I do not have the artistic talent to draw a badger. As you'll see, I am an artistic bad-ass. Hell yeah.

Just one more little thing.

This is possibly the funniest thing I've seen in...well, a really freaking long time. You just have to read it to believe it, but I do love the pictures the best I think! Totally safe for work -- not those kind of pictures you dirty birdies.

h/t The Bitter Law Student & Buffalo Wings & Vodka

OK, *maybe* just one more QUICK thing.

Subversive Cross Stitch.

BAHAHAHAHAHAHA.


Oh God, I might have to take up cross stitching. You can design your own! Everyone I know may POSSIBLY be getting a filthy cross stitched sampler for Christmas this year. I'm just saying.



h/t dooce

The floor is still yours.

I am SO BUSY. Therefore, I'll just continue to leave the floor open to your comments and suggestions about non-traditional legal jobs. Between 500-700 people read this blog Every. Damn. Day. That means there are tons of people who have (or know someone who has) a job that is either totally non-legal, only tangentially legal, quasi-legal, or uses a law degree in some new and unusual way. I want to know...I really, really do. The comments that were left on the post below this have been read, and in some cases investigated, already. The number one problem in finding a non-traditional job is figuring out "What can I do? Where should I apply? What types of places would want someone with my skills/education/etc.?" And just think, after my tax grade, you're actually doing a public service by keeping me away from the legal-service-seeking public.

Math sux. And I want information.

Tax grades are up. Suffice it to say I followed my usual pattern of doing horribly in classes that are 5 credit hours. Awesome. The good news is that I'm finding it difficult to care very much at this point.

In other news, I am becoming more and more convinced that I would like to seek out alternative career paths to just being a conventional lawyer. Does anyone have any good ideas/resources/links? I mean, if you know someone or are someone who is using your law degree in a way that is even slightly off the beaten path, let me know, even if it's just a short comment. The job I'm interviewing for next week is (sorta) in the insurance industry (but a very specialized portion), and I've also applied for a job running a program for the city that takes into account my specialized knowledge in a couple of areas related to my military/federal agency experience. I'm open to suggestion!

HIP HIP HOORAY!

Here in Hippie-ville, I get harassed CONSTANTLY about my intake of Diet Coke because of the artificial sweetner (aka Aspartame, aka Elixir of Life, aka Other Substance In My Veins Besides Beer). People are always like "OHMYGAWD, how can you drink that horrible stuff?" We won't talk (or ask) about what they're putting in their bodies (or on them). And frankly, in my opinion, if you're using patchouli oil as deodorant, you have no right to question my life choices.

Anyway, thanks to my good friend Mir, I am CLEARED to DRINK DIET COKE AT WILL.

Take that, Judgy McJudgmenterson.

Random observations

Here are some fun things I learned today...addressed to the person who taught me whatever thing I learned.

Dear Lady In Front Of Me On The Way To School In The White Neon,

While I applaud your use of your turn signal, it is my unfortunate job to let you know that turn signals do not in any way alter the space-time continuum or suspend the laws of physics. It would stand to reason then that your Dodge Neon cannot occupy the same space as my Mercury Sable. If you battle me, you will lose. Guaranteed.

Dear Guy In Front Of Me On My Way Back To My Car After School,

Yes. I did hear you make those monkey noises.

Dear 1L Walking Out Of School Next To Me Today,

I see that you're holding your Property and your ConLaw textbooks. They look heavy! And important! I also see that your backpack is nearly empty. You may be fooling undergrad girls, but you're not fooling me. FYI.

Dear Extra-Sharp White Cheddar Cheese That Cost Me $8.95,

You are so awesome. I heart you. If I could marry you and have your babies, I won't lie, I'd do it.

OK...I think that's it for now. I have to do some work-work, some school-work, and write a cross-exam for Trial Ad for tomorrow night. MORE CHEESE! And marshmallows! And, I won't lie, maybe a beer.

I'm dying over here.

WHY hasn't this place, the dream employment place, called me yet? Oh sure, you might say they're "busy", or that they're "doing work", or even "having meetings", but don't they know I'm staring intently at my phone, checking my email obsessively, and just generally being a huge freak???? DON'T THEY KNOW?

Sigh.

I guess all I can do is hope that the woman I talked to yesterday is really on top of it, and that she loved me as much as she said she did, and that she'll call or email at least by the end of the week...although in the next five minutes would be BETTER FOR ME. I can't help it...I'm a psycho.

UPDATE: I will be going in next Tuesday afternoon for a second interview. YAY!

Why me?

Dear Pint of Ben and Jerry's Napolean Dynamite Ice Cream,

You made me want you. With your colorful carton, and your descriptive words urging me to indulge in your cold, creamy mixture of Cherry Garcia and Fudge Brownie, swirled together in an intoxicating mixture of happy, gooey goodness...you teased me. And then, and then...it all went bad. You hiked up your skirt, batted your eyelashes, and let me buy you a steak dinner and four gin and tonics, and then you went to the bathroom and never came back, you dirty slut. You stole the keys to my car, opened a credit card in my name, depleted my savings, and kicked me in the face. Twice.

I don't feel good. And don't say it's all my fault for eating the entire pint. You teased me! You made me want you and then you hurt me, and that's not nice. You are bad, and I hate you. I hate you. But, at the same time I love you. I love the way you hurt me, you dirty, dirty ice cream.

I will never do this again. Until next time. Meet me back here on Thursday. And wear that one carton, the one with the...well, you know.

E. Spat.

Cross your collective fingers. And toes.

I had an impromptu interview today that was amazing. Amazing. The woman promised that she was going to talk to the bosses first thing in the morning and try to set up an in-person second interview for later this week. This could be The One. I mean, technically they could all be The One, but this place sounds awesome, the job is quasi-legal but not being a lawyer, and it's an area I actually have a Genuine Interest in. Imagine that. It also would use a lot of the skills I developed in the military, which would be cool. So, I really hope that I at least get a second interview and that, if I do, it goes well. This is the most interested I've been in a job in a really long time.

Are you peeing?

Remember Jordan from Real Genius? She said this: "I never sleep, I don't know why. I had a roommate and I drove her nuts, I mean really nuts, they had to take her away in an ambulance and everything. But she's okay now, but she had to transfer to an easier school, but I don't know if that had anything to do with being my fault. But listen, if you ever need to talk or you need help studying just let me know, 'cause I'm just a couple doors down from you guys and I never sleep, okay?"

I went on a date with a guy tonight who, while he did buy me a very nice filet mignon (good job guy!), said I was "intense" several times. I finally asked him what he meant by "intense," because I just can't tell what that means. Is it good? Is it bad? Does it bring to mind the dreaded "intimidating"? I must have scared him with my tirade because he called me right as I got home and read me the definition from the dictionary and said he didn't want me to think he meant anything bad by it. He said "I just mean that I can tell you're going to be hard to keep up with." Which reminded me that once AmbImb called me a "blogging bundle of energy." I guess I probably am both "energetic" and "intense." But, I'd rather just be me and have someone know right up front who I am and what they're getting into, than to hide under a false personality and finally, in like a year, my real self just comes tumbling out and scares the living shit out of the poor guy! In other news, this was the second date and no kiss -- I'm starting to get the "you'd be a great FRIEND" vibe. Interesting.

Intense

Pronunciation: in-'ten(t)s
Function: adjective
Etymology: Middle English, from Middle French, from Latin intensus, from past participle of intendere to stretch out
1 a : existing in an extreme degree intense> <intense pain> b : having or showing a characteristic in extreme degree <intense colors>
2 : marked by or expressive of great zeal, energy, determination, or concentration <intense effort>
3 a : exhibiting strong feeling or earnestness of purpose intense student> b : deeply felt

It requires a certain amount of...uh...moral flexibility

Saw "Thank You For Smoking" tonight. Hilarious...loved it.

Procrastination is awesome

I have a project to do for my new boss, a will to write for my Estate Planning Workshop, reading to do in my two "real" classes, and a cross-exam to write for Trial Ad, and what did I do today?

Went to Target and bought a really cute black knit dress, read a couple chapters in the book I'm working on, watched "Fight Club" on FX, and ate MORE ice cream and MORE marshmallows. Oh yeah, and painted my nails. Hot pink, thanks for asking!

Money, it's not just for paying tuition anymore

I spent ALOT of money today shopping at the outlet mall near here with a friend of mine. Three pairs of Nine West shoes (black pointy-toed slingbacks, black boots, green suede sandals), one Calvin Klein skirt (SOOOOOOOO hot), one dress, one skirt, and one pair of capri pants from Ann Taylor (finally, date clothes...should I ever go on another date), and three pairs of very cute and very slutty undies from some place I can't remember. But they have rhinestones. And other shiny things. YAY!

Then, there was beer. And nachos. And more beer. And finally ice cream. And marshmallows. Now I have to go to bed. I will dream of all the hot clothes I bought. I'm awesome...and so are marshmallows. And beer. Sweet, sweet beer.