I have this conversation approximately eleventy billion times a week.
Interested Acquaintance and/or Random Stranger: "So, you're in law school?"
Me: "Yeah."
IA: "What year, what school, etc."
Me: "Name of school, 3L, blah blah blah."
IA: "Well, so, what kind of law do you want to practice?"
Me: "Oh, you know...I've worked at three federal agencies during law school and I am a former military officer, so, I'm sort of hoping to go into something in an agency."
IA: "How come you aren't staying at the place you're working now?"
Me: "They don't actually have any spots open right now, so, unless something comes open there's really no place for me to even apply."
IA: "Are you going to be a prosecutor or defender?"
Me: "Actually, if I go into a federal agency, most jobs aren't what you would traditionally think of as a prosecutor or defender...it's mostly administrative law type things, and I'm applying at firms too...I'm still just a student, I'm more interested in finding a good job that will allow me to learn and grow than in exactly what that job is."
IA: "So, if you go into a firm will you be a prosecutor or a defender?"
Me: "See, that's not really how most legal jobs are set up...you're thinking about TV, like, you know, Law and Order."
IA: "But, you have a specialty in mind right?"
Me: *SIGH* "No, right now I'm just trying to find something."
IA: "With your background I would think you wouldn't have a problem finding a job."
Me: "Yeah, you and me both."
IA: "Are you on...what's that thing...the bar review? No, that's not it, ummmmm...the law review?"
Me: "No."
IA: "Oh, why not? I thought it was something you kind of had to do."
Me: "Yes. Well. I have chosen to spend my time doing some other types of things."
IA: "Why?"
Me: "I don't know, I just have."
IA: "Are you going to go back into the military?"
Me: "No."
IA: "Why?"
Me: "Because I don't want to.
IA: "But why not? I mean, it seems like it would be perfect and you could just go right back since you were already in."
Me: "Actually you can't. You have to apply and meet a selection board like everyone else. And, I just don't want to go back in."
IA: "Well, have you tried applying to INSERT NAME OF EVERY FEDERAL AGENCY HERE?"
Me: "Yes. Most federal agencies have Honors Programs which I have applied to and been summarily rejected from."
IA: "Well, my sister works at INSERT NAME OF FEDERAL AGENCY HERE and she got her job by INSERT VERY LONG ANECDOTE THAT'S TOTALLY INAPPLICABLE TO LEGAL JOBS HERE."
Me: "Actually, federal legal jobs don't really hire that way, but you know...thanks for the tip."
IA: "So, if you're not going to be a prosecutor or defender, what kind of law will you actually practice?"
Me: "Excuse me, I have to go outside and light myself on fire now."
